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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you swear in conversation with your adult children?

110 replies

Ahsoka2001 · 06/02/2023 16:01

Personally, my Mum hates swearing in general and says she'll never allow it in her house even when my sister is an adult (she's 14, I'm 21). But I've gone round friends' houses, etc. and seen them and their parents swear around each other like it's their normal thing to do.

I don't think either mindset is wrong really, but which do you prefer? Would you "tell off" your adult child if they swore in conversation with you?

OP posts:
hiredandsqueak · 06/02/2023 18:15

No I don't swear in conversation with my adult dc and neither do they. I very rarely swear anyway other than the odd time muttered beneath my breath. I'm not sure how often they swear when I'm not about though.

MissingMoominMamma · 06/02/2023 18:19

We never swore in front of ours until they were around the 20 mark. It’s crept in gradually since then, but usually for comedy value.

ithoughtisawapuddycat · 06/02/2023 18:24

We swear and they swear. Not all the time but if needed and nothing too offensive.

Never use to when we were late teens early 20s but now we're in our 30s and 40s we do it a lot more.

PugInTheHouse · 06/02/2023 18:24

I didn't swear in front of my parents till I was probably at least 21/22, the odd mild word I would but rarely swore in front of them. They have always sworn in front of me even as a very young child but I was always told children weren't allowed to so I didn't. We've done exactly the same with our kids and they never swear in front of us either.

I always found it odd that when I was 9 my friend swore in front of her parents and they didn't care, they let her smoke and drink also though at that age. Sounds wrong coming from kids.

DillDanding · 06/02/2023 18:24

The idea of telling off my adult kids for swearing is hilarious.

Having said that, they’re really not very sweary, but I wouldn’t care if they were. I always swore with relative abandon when they were small (not at them, but in front of them). I don’t think I ever heard them swear until they were over 18. As long as they have a rich vocabulary, it’s all good.

SquigglePigs · 06/02/2023 18:27

My Dad started to occasionally after I went to university (still never in front of Mum though). Now I'm 20 years old than that and Mum will use the odd "pissed" or "crap" but I don't think she ever will much. I'm more reserved around them than with DH or friends but the odd bit creeps in now and then.

My in-laws on the other hand - they never would and we never would in front of them!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/02/2023 18:30

Christ I swear with my teenager. She knows when it is and isn’t appropriate- not to do it around non family adults or in front of you nose children, that there’s a difference between sweating in jest and in anger.

I wouldn’t swear in front of a below teenage child.

I swear with my own mother (75) all the time - she generally starts it, but equally don’t do it in polite conversations!

nokidshere · 06/02/2023 18:38

I'm not a swearer beyond the odd expletive but DH & both adult sons swear when they are in conversation. I'm usually calling 'language' from the other room.

BridieConvert · 06/02/2023 18:47

I'm 31 and I swear around my mum and she swears around me. Not a massive amount but enough to be noticed I'd think!

Blossomtoes · 06/02/2023 18:52

We all swear like sailors. I was never foul mouthed around my parents but things have changed since they died.

Happygone · 06/02/2023 18:54

Yes

Leakingtoilet · 06/02/2023 18:55

Personally I don't give a flying fuck about swearing, it's just words. So yes both my adult children swear if they want to and I swear in front of them.

I tend not to swear in front of my own parents as they don't like it and I respect that.

Grapewrath · 06/02/2023 18:55

I swear in front of everyone and so do my adult kids.

RampantIvy · 06/02/2023 18:55

It seems like I am in a minority. I have always worked in jobs where it wasn't appropriate to swear. I just don't feel the need to swear all the time except when I am driving

stbrandonsboat · 06/02/2023 18:57

I swear like a sailor and have always been far worse than ds1. Ds2 has autism and never swears, although I did hear him say "bloody" this week which is a first 😂 (he's 18)

I love a good swear and find it's cathartic. Dh never swears, unless in extremis.

goldennotyetoldie · 06/02/2023 18:57

Fuck, yeh 😂

WetBandits · 06/02/2023 18:58

Very sweary family here, all of us 😅

DalaiLlama · 06/02/2023 18:58

I do when the occasion calls for it (non-aggressively). My kids (older teens) do in front of me. DH in contrast gets bothered even by people saying “oh god”, which surprises me as when I first knew him he used to eff and jeff with the best of them.

glasshole · 06/02/2023 19:00

We've got 4 kids age 14-25 and yes we swear in from of them. I have always allowed my children to swear if it's lyrics in a song etc and in conversation if it's within the correct context. No insults allowed either. Sometimes nothing will do but a perfunctory fuck. They've never been in trouble even once for swearing in school or at the wrong time etc and understand when it's acceptable and when it's not. But we are on a very rough council estate in a shockingly poor area so tectonically my kids feel hard done by as their are 4-5 year olds that can turn the air blue for no reason calling people twats and cunts.

MarshaMelrose · 06/02/2023 19:04

I think I know most of the swear words in the world but I respect my dad and mum too much to be offensive around them.
I hear teenagers using the f word every other word while I'm outin town and I hate it. It sounds rude and ignorant and not at all clever. But then if head teachers and deputy head teachers send out the message that they're OK words to use to and with others, I guess the kids can't be blamed really.

DramaAlpaca · 06/02/2023 19:06

My parents are in their 80s and I've never heard either of them swear. DH's parents would've been the same.

DH and I didn't swear in front of the DC when they were small but now they are all adults we sometimes do, and they swear in front of us too. We aren't a very sweary family though.

piedbeauty · 06/02/2023 19:08

I don't often swear when with my parents, but my adult dd and I swear together. In fact my 15yo son and I swear while chatting too. He's old enough.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/02/2023 19:11

Young children, not “you nose” children.

meow1989 · 06/02/2023 19:20

Yes, if ds isn't around I swear fluently. My mum is who I learnt from - my dad hates swearing, so I do it more in front of him if he has ago because I am a massive child Grin

ChatInMyFlat · 06/02/2023 19:23

I swear a lot. Neither of my adult children swear. As long as they weren't swearing AT people it wouldn't bother me if they did.

I limit my swearing in front of my parents as they dislike it.