AIBU to stop neighbours from using the steps at the side of my house as shortcut?

[thelongroad]

I genuinely can't decide whether saying something would be unreasonable or not.
Our house (blue) is next to the corner house (red). There is a new build next to us, consisting of 2 semis. The one right next to us is still empty, but just before Xmas a family moved into the other one (pink).

All the houses along our road have the front entrance along the front road, but can also be accessed from the back road (we have no garden, only parking spots for the cars). Neither the front nor the back are fenced off. Front road is a dead end, so nobody going past. Back road has occasional cars and kids walking to local school but otherwise nothing (rural village).

We own the bit between us and corner house (their land is fenced off all round). It's sloping downwards towards the back, and we've paved it and put in steps (grey lines) so we can walk from front to back of house. I've also got plants growing there and we have our firewood stack on the side.

Very occasionally kids who are playing on either road use our steps as a shortcut to the other road. This is ok. We've also had workmen ask to use it when they've been working on one road and needed to get to the other. Also fine.

However, since the new neighbours moved in, they have been using it ALL THE TIME for getting from the front to the back. They have a garage at the front of the house but park their 2nd car at the back. Clearly they have no way of getting into their house at the back (we put in a back door specifically for this purpose) so they using our steps to cut through instead of walking all the way around the corner house.

Now, the thing is that the steps go past our living/dining room, and I actually see them zipping past every time. If they look in they can see us too.

It's (irrationally?) annoying the fuck out of me that they seem to think they can just come onto my property because it's more convenient for them.
I've even blocked the bit a the front with a row of plant pots to make it slightly more obvious that it's not a public way, but they're still using it.

I can't decide if I'm being deeply unneighbourly and unreasonable in wanting them to stop using our steps. I know I can ask them to stop and they will have to (from a legal point of view) but should I? Why does this bother me so much??

Apologies that this is so long. I offer a diagram as compensation of you made it through!

This makes it very difficult if you can’t speak to them and ask. Do you have anyone who can advocate for you and speak to them on your behalf? Do you have a partner, a sibling, a friend, or another responsible adult who can speak on your behalf?

it’s a very simple conversation and will only take a couple of minutes.

right I definitely need to nip this in the bud, it's not just me being a cranky unsociable.

Of course you're not being unreasonable to stop other people from using your land your steps in your garden right by your house as a short cut !!

It's ok to say no, stop it

And to gate and fence or hedge it off

Can you put a gate with a lock on it right by your house? Just put the key on your house keys... then no one but you can use it
And it might be cheaper than fencing all your front part off too

You can get a smallish fence which you can push directly into the ground- not massive but more of a 'message' that this is your land.

I also commend your excellent diagram.

If you hate just one end no one will be able to get through and will stop using it as a cut through. You can pay someone to put a fence post for gate into your concrete steps and fix the other side to your house, so that it isn't relying on permission to fix a post against neighbours house (unless they are agreeable to that)

Gate not hate doh!

I’d be worried about them tripping, slipping on ice or whatever and you then being liable…close it off

This. Look into rights of easement. Long term
use can create a legal right of way.
www.birketts.co.uk/legal-update/what-is-an-easement-and-how-are-they-created-and-used/

Block it now or down the line it will be claimed as a right of way

If you really don't want to speak to them, someone above mentioned a little chain with a private property sign dangling on it. Cheap to buy, cheap to put up. Or a cheap decorative fence panel propped up with some plant pots, or just put plant pots right across and step over them? Once they get the hint you can probably thin the barrier out and just leave a couple of plant pots across the gap and just step through them yourselves.

Good call above about what happens when the flats are occupied.

How often are they doing it and can you predict when? I would anticipate it happening and stand out there fake sweeping up or something, like an extra in Crossroads, so you can be “surprised” by them turning the corner onto your steps and say, “Oh! This is actually my land – however did you end up in my garden? Wait…” ::peer at them:: “Are you the new neighbours at No.23?” Then launch into the suggestion of a new back door etc.

Do they actually know it's private and not a public footpath? I hike a lot and in built up areas you'd be surprised at where public footpaths are located, on big estates between two gardens, for example.

I think this sounds good

@thelongroad
Oh in that case, definitely just go round and tell them not to do it. I find that nothing less than directness works because they are so used to that being the way things are. If you don't tell them to stop they will keep doing it because they will expect you to tell them if you don't want them to do it!!

You need to gate it because otherwise it will be seen as a right of way. Even if it isn't. Best to sort now, before new people move into the other semi and do the same thing. Also, if it is seen as an unofficial right of way... It will be used as one and your privacy and security will be compromised.

I'd have thought the plant pots would have put them off so I can only assume they know it's annoying you and are choosing to do it anyway. I would double check title deeds that they are not entitled to access (very much doubt it but would check as a precaution) and then I would gate it

I’d be putting gates and fencing up

They can walk round the corner house, it's hardly any further (as can local children and random builders). Absolutely put a stop to this right now!

I would look into getting a gate. As posters above have pointed out, you don't want it to end up a legal right of way! In the meantime, leave your windows open and get your children to scream "someone's in our garden!!". Might just embarrass them a little bit 😆

Well this has been delightfully unanimous. I knew a diagram would help!

@Keepyourmummysboys I am well able to advocate for myself, I just don't want to. And I don't want DH talking to them either. It's pathetic, I know 😄

YANBU
Politely tell them to stop trespassing/invading your privacy. The key word here is politely, but firmly.

And don't back down and say occasionally is okay if it's raining, snowing, thunder & lightening or whatever because they'll just keep doing it regardless.

Putting pots in the way is very feeble (sorry), particularly when you're dealing with piss-takers like this.

Why don’t you want to talk to them or have your dh speak to them? Just go and tell them politely that it’s not acceptable, they need to stop immediately and how about they put in a functioning door like you did?

The OP is in Germany so this does not apply.
www.wohneigentum.nrw/beitrag/gewohnheitsrecht-das-war-schon-immer-so
This explains that a right of way is only established if the person has no other access to the public road network from their property. And that this is not the case if:
"Eine nur dem persönlichen Bedürfnis des Eigentümers entsprechende Nutzung begründet somit kein Wege- oder Notwegerecht."

"A use corresponding only to the personal need of the owner therefore does not establish a right of way or emergency right of way"

So no, they won't be able to establish a right of way.
However, OP, I would be very very careful about it because if they have an accident on your property you will be liable - and the way the health care system works means that if an injury is caused by an accident, the "Krankenkassen" (the health insurance bodies), will try to find a way to reclaim the money for the treatment from the insurance of the person deemed to be at fault - eg. the property owner.

You definitely need to block the access to everyone using it.
After a period of time ( it is a long time 20years) people can claim a legal right to use it.

As you can see them using it, including the children….you are allowing it. It could become a right of way.
see image.

YADNBU. Perhaps they just assumed the steps were public. I know you’ve explained they don’t look public, but there are similar steps on the neighbouring estate to mine, and they are public, so maybe these people just assumed yours were?

Fences make good neighbours, or whatever the saying is. Put in a fence and/or gate with a sign on saying Private - No Entry. If you do speak to them, don’t accuse them of doing it brazenly (even if you think they are). Say something about it being ‘confusing’, and then mention your steps are yours and private; that’s it’s more convenient to have a back door put in; and it’s better to park at the front.

You need to tell them to stop . Resentment and frustration will build up otherwise