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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to stop neighbours from using the steps at the side of my house as shortcut?

346 replies

thelongroad · 05/02/2023 16:45

I genuinely can't decide whether saying something would be unreasonable or not.
Our house (blue) is next to the corner house (red). There is a new build next to us, consisting of 2 semis. The one right next to us is still empty, but just before Xmas a family moved into the other one (pink).

All the houses along our road have the front entrance along the front road, but can also be accessed from the back road (we have no garden, only parking spots for the cars). Neither the front nor the back are fenced off. Front road is a dead end, so nobody going past. Back road has occasional cars and kids walking to local school but otherwise nothing (rural village).

We own the bit between us and corner house (their land is fenced off all round). It's sloping downwards towards the back, and we've paved it and put in steps (grey lines) so we can walk from front to back of house. I've also got plants growing there and we have our firewood stack on the side.

Very occasionally kids who are playing on either road use our steps as a shortcut to the other road. This is ok. We've also had workmen ask to use it when they've been working on one road and needed to get to the other. Also fine.

However, since the new neighbours moved in, they have been using it ALL THE TIME for getting from the front to the back. They have a garage at the front of the house but park their 2nd car at the back. Clearly they have no way of getting into their house at the back (we put in a back door specifically for this purpose) so they using our steps to cut through instead of walking all the way around the corner house.

Now, the thing is that the steps go past our living/dining room, and I actually see them zipping past every time. If they look in they can see us too.

It's (irrationally?) annoying the fuck out of me that they seem to think they can just come onto my property because it's more convenient for them.
I've even blocked the bit a the front with a row of plant pots to make it slightly more obvious that it's not a public way, but they're still using it.

I can't decide if I'm being deeply unneighbourly and unreasonable in wanting them to stop using our steps. I know I can ask them to stop and they will have to (from a legal point of view) but should I? Why does this bother me so much??

Apologies that this is so long. I offer a diagram as compensation of you made it through!

AIBU to stop neighbours from using the steps at the side of my house as shortcut?
OP posts:
Original poster
thelongroad · 05/02/2023 18:13

@PuzzledObserver
There's no lock on the door, it's probably just a terrace door (so it "locks" when you turn the handle down, not possible to open from the outside if it's in that position).
If they parked at the front in their garage, then they could just walk into their front door. It's the fact that they are parking at the back that is the problem.

My diagram didn't include the next house, but I see now it should have - it's right up against theirs, no path or anything in between.

OP posts:
SharkVega · 05/02/2023 18:13

Probably if they're German they're expecting you to tell them if it's an issue. They probably think you don't mind as otherwise something would have been said, they'd expect the directness.

OhmygodDont · 05/02/2023 18:14

I’m having to put higher fencing up as the post man keeps just hopping over our wall as a short cut. I don’t mind when he actually had post for us but 9/10 he doesn’t and his just using my drive / garden as a short cut to the next house rather than having to walk back up next doors. Setting off all my cameras alarms and it bloody annoying.

sadly the answer is a big fence.

NoSquirrels · 05/02/2023 18:15

Gymnopedie · 05/02/2023 18:13

Sorry OP but you are going to have to talk to them.

The problem with plant pots/bins/whatever is that if somehow they haven't realised it's private property and think it's a genuine cut-through, they're going to think YOU are the CFs for trying to stop them. Even 'private property' signs might make them think the same. That you resent having the path so close to your house so you're getting stroppy and being that neighbour when they don't think they're doing anything wrong.

Of course they may just be the CFs themselves and know exactly what they're doing, but until you talk to them you won't know.

I also agree with this. They may think precisely because it’s not fenced off that it doesn’t belong to you!

Original poster
thelongroad · 05/02/2023 18:16

@mumda
We bought this plot of land and built a house on it. The whole plot belongs to us, no rights of way or anything. Lots of houses along the road don't have fencing. It's a very quiet, rural village in the middle of nowhere. There's literally nowhere to walk to, so it's ironic that we now regularly have someone walking past our side windows!

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 05/02/2023 18:20

thelongroad · 05/02/2023 17:56

For various reasons (none of them great I admit), I haven't just gone round and asked them to stop doing this. I would like them to desist without me having to explicitly tell them 😂

I'd like cream cakes to be an aid to weight loss and for my cat to bring me bundles of cash instead of mouse parts but we cant always get what we want. 😁

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 05/02/2023 18:22

It sounds like your only option is fencing and gating your property. No need for any confrontation then.

WednesdaysPlaits · 05/02/2023 18:22

Id put a sign up next to your house at the front and back (so not immediately visible from the road) saying "stop walking through my fucking garden!!" It will only be offensive to trespassers.

piedbeauty · 05/02/2023 18:26

They are complete CF. You're going to have to tell them to stop it!

Justmeandthedog1 · 05/02/2023 18:26

Gates are expensive so just put a chain across. Ask your corner neighbours if you can attach one end to their fence, then put a ring screw into your house ( or put two posts in if easier). BIG sign hung on it Private Property. No Through Way.

jamtodayplease · 05/02/2023 18:26

Have I understood correctly that the corner house next door to you has fencing all round?
If so, they have set a precedent so it shouldn't look so odd for you to do it too.

MRex · 05/02/2023 18:27

If I was free, liked the couple, it was easy to get to, and I knew someone I liked there... Then yes, I'd go. Pretty much the same as 1 year's notice, except I would be more likely to travel with notice (if DH and DS invited).

MRex · 05/02/2023 18:28

Whoops, sorry, wrong post!!

ladymacbeth · 05/02/2023 18:31

If you don't want to talk to them about it, put a sign on the path before you shell out for gates.

Could say 'this is part of our garden - stop it!' Or something more formally worded Grin

Eastereggsboxedupready · 05/02/2023 18:32

Rural imo doesn't mean seeing people pass by your window whenever they like!

Bjarnum · 05/02/2023 18:32

If this continues is it possible they can establish a right of way?

pairofrollerskates · 05/02/2023 18:33

I can't make head nor tail of your diagram, but ... I get your irritation, slightly unreasonable as it is. If putting a gate up solves the problem, I'd do it. It sounds as if they don't raise it's not a right of way, so I'd put a lock the gate. Otherwise they'll just open it and continue on their merry way!

GreenIsle · 05/02/2023 18:33

The people in the flats are just going to do the same thing so I think a fence is the only answer here

FinanceLPlates · 05/02/2023 18:34

If you’re in Germany I would just open the window next time they walk past and tell them in a friendly yet firm way not to do it again, as they are on your “Privatgrundstück”.
You could also put up a sign saying “Privatgrundstück - kein Durchgang” which would be cheaper and less faff than elaborate fencing. That should discourage them. If it doesn’t, you really do have some CFs on your hand!
I still think talking to them directly would be best.
I’m surprised they have a back door that can’t be opened or locked from the outside, I’ve never come across these in Germany! You could give them the details of the company that sorted yours out if you like.

Stardu · 05/02/2023 18:41

I’d put a note through each of the neighbours houses saying that some people’s children are beginning to use the stairs in your garden as a shortcut, this isn’t ok and could cause legal problems, please can everyone have a word with their children to explain that they can’t just walk through other people’s private property.

If they ignore the note you’ll have to put a barrier up eg a sign or chains on a bollard.

Original poster
thelongroad · 05/02/2023 18:41

@FinanceLPlates
I assume it's like a Balkontür (which would be much cheaper than a proper lockable one), as it's not planned as access from the back. We had exactly the same put in until we realised it wasn't very useful if our cars were parked back there (although we, of course, could legitimately walk up our own steps to the front!).
The corner house also doesn't have access from the back. They park in the garage at the back and then walk up their own (fenced in ) steps to their front door.

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 05/02/2023 18:41

Old English man “get orrrfffff
my land”

Ponderingwindow · 05/02/2023 18:42

You could fence/gate just along the front. I would put on a keypad lock so you don’t have to make sure you have the key. Slightly more expensive, but infinitely more convenient.

Stardu · 05/02/2023 18:44

Bjarnum · 05/02/2023 18:32

If this continues is it possible they can establish a right of way?

Yes. It would have to continue for a long time, but yes if they keep doing it as if they’re entitled to and OP doesn’t protest (the legal phrase is if they use it “as of right and with no objection”) then they would gain legal rights over OP’s land. This would cause problems if she sells (she’d have to declare that ithers have rights iver her land) and could also prevent her or future owners building on the land, as if someone has acquired a right to walk across it, you’re not allowed to obstruct them.

Thet would take many years but it is a real thing and I know someone who gained a strip of land this way. Definitely put a stop to it OP!!

corcaithecat · 05/02/2023 18:44

If one of the neighbours fell up your steps whilst using them, can they legitimately sue you for negligence? If so, you need to speak to them directly and be clear that your steps are on your own property and they’re not a communal facility.