Does anyone think it sounds likely my son has ASD?

[ThisMamaNeedsHelp]

My son is 3. (Just)

I am concerned he is showing signs of being on the ASD spectrum and would appreciate any advice/insight from anyone who has experience of this as to whether his behaviour sounds typical of a child presenting with ASD or can be explained by his age?

Fine around other kids. Says he wants to “go and see the children” when talking about toddler group etc. Likes to say hello and try and join in with chasing games etc with his older sister and her friends. Not at nursery yet (can’t afford it until we get the government hours) but whenever we go to toddler groups he is fine around other kids. Happy being close to them and doesn’t have an issue with people being in his space, although rather than actual meaningful play it is more parallel play than anything at the moment.

He is very overfamiliar with strangers. My daughter was always very friendly and sociable as a toddler too, liked to chat away in shops etc, but my son will literally launch himself onto people and repeatedly tap their leg to say hello.
at home beginning to do some imaginary play although limited - will play with a toy aeroplane, say it’s flying in the sky, but when I ask where it’s going he doesn’t know, so flying in the sky is as far as we get.
went through a stage of lining toys up which worried me but doesn’t seem to do that any more.
can and does imitate me.
can point with one finger. answers to his name although it used to be a real effort but does that fine now.
eye contact good. Smiles and laughs, very affectionate with us all at home.
very clever - can count, knows all shapes and colours etc
Language skills - hard for me to know if he is “behind” or not as I can only really compare to my daughter who spoke very well very early. Some 3yr olds I know speak a lot better than him, but I also know some 3-4yr olds who I can’t always understand what they’re saying. My son is usually intelligible when speaking but his actual conversation skills aren’t great. He can answer questions, make statements, sing songs, knows what everything around him is etc but there’s not much actual conversation.
extremely physical/hyperactive - runs and runs, climbs, finds it hard to sit down quietly when he is “supposed to” ie during toddler classes can’t sit and listen to instructions, he will be running around a bit manic while the other toddlers sit down when asked to.

I have asked the GP to refer him for an assessment and was told that they would do this but I am looking at a 2 year wait to be seen.

going out of my mind with worry. Any advice as to whether this sounds like ASD appreciated hugely.

Sounds like totally normal toddler.

What is it in particular makes you think he may have autism?

I am so sorry if that sounds arsey; it’s meant completely genuinely. I just can’t see anything in the above that fits any description of autism at all. And I do know a fair bit about autism!

I should also add - sorry- tantrums ; often gets really upset if I stop him doing something thing he wants to do that’s dangerous like throwing himself off the top of a slide. Better at transitioning (used to have a battle getting him into his coat and trainers to pick his sister up from school etc) but can still kick off at random. Like today we went to go to a local landmark and he cried and didn’t want to go in (we have been before and he enjoyed it). Put this down to him being tired as hadn’t napped. Drove around for a bit to get him to sleep. When he woke up he still didn’t want to go in/making a huge fuss so we abandoned it and came home. Normal toddler or ASD type behaviour ????? (This is not unusual. I cannot think of a single day out we have had where it hasn’t been really hard work involving crying/tantrums etc)

No, I would say none of that indicates autism. I say this a Mum of 5, 4 of whom are a mix of autistic/ADHD and other SEN needs.

Absolutely normal toddler behaviour.

I teach in a preschool for autistic children and none of what you've described sounds worrying.

Personally I can't see anything that's an immediate red flag.

It can be hard to tell when kids are as young as 3, because some of the supposed signs of ASD, are also fairly typical toddler behaviour. (Eg many kids go through phases of lining up toys - but this stage of play passes in neurotypical kids as they get older.)

Honestly, I don't think there's obvious cause for alarm at this stage. Just try and relax and enjoy your son.

Sounds normal

He sounds like a normal healthy 3 year old. If there is anything underlying then it's more likely to be evident by the time you get to the top of a waiting list anyway (4 years in my area)

I'd say no, but your his mum so you know better. My son is just a little younger than yours and is being tested for autism. He is completely non verbal, stimms but spinning for up to 20 minutes, no sense of danger or pain, limited diet, poor eye contact, his meltdowns include him hitting his head against the floor/wall, lots of sensory issues x

@Boneweary
mainly the disinhibition around strangers (only men not women for some reason)
he will cuddle men he doesn’t know repeatedly wherever we go and has been known to call them daddy (even if absolutely no resemblance to his dad).
The keen interest in numbers and lining toys up (although both less now)
no imaginative play either alone or with sister
etc
inability to sit still or listen to instructions

Nothing at all sounds like autism

there isnt a single thing in what you’ve said that sounds like he could have ASD.

But he does play imaginatively - he pretends the plane is flying - he won’t have hugely sophisticated skills yet!

Does he say hello into a toy phone, rock a doll, those sorts of things?

It helps to remember at heart autism is about communicating. A child who communicates well (which is a long way from just talking) is probably fine.

Everything you've said sounds completely normal for a 3yr old. The things he can't, or doesn't, do at the moment will come with time, not all children NT or ND, will develop at the same time, in the same areas.

I would just enjoy him as he is, and encourage all the positives you have pointed out.

Sounds like a lick down baby to me, who's mum loves him. Let him settle at nursery and go from their. Good luck.

Lock down not lick down. Sorry

It doesn’t sound to me like an ASD but typical toddler behaviour. I fought for 8 years to get my DS diagnosed and he had many more traits of ASD but masked them well. I very much doubt the specialist assessment service would diagnose ASD based on what you have written here. Have you had a chat with the health visitor? For what it’s worth I wish we hadn’t gone down the assessment route with my DS, he hates the label of Aspergers Syndrome and hates that we got him diagnosed. Might be worth thinking about the reasons why you would want to get him assessed if his traits are quite minor. Hope all goes well whatever you decide

@Boneweary yes he has pretended to answer a phone and will pretend to be scared and run away if his sister puts a blanket over her head to be a “ghost”
sorry I’m aware I’m drip feeding here - with his speech as well there is definite echolalia
it is only very recently he has started to actually answer “yes” to things - previously it was “no” or if he did want something, he would just repeat what I said as in if asked if he wants a yoghurt he would say “want a yoghurt” rather than “yes”

ALSO - when we went to the (male) GP, who we had never laid eyes on before, straight away my son was clambering on his lap and running about the room investigating everything, the GP said obviously this isn’t a diagnosis but he would agree he has ASD symptoms. It was already on my radar and since the GP said this I have literally felt broken with worry about what his life is going to be like.

Echolalia is defined as either the repetition of meaningless words spoken by a other person, or by a child learning to talk. He fits the second option perfectly, especially as he's repeating what you're saying at the relevant time.

What about sensory issues?

It is difficult to see at just three because the difference in social communication, routine and sensory issues is not as great. As NT children develop faster it becomes more clear.

The clear indication of asd in mine was the waving of a coat hanger in a deliberate focussed way.

Looking back there were lots of clues but it was hard to go to the GP and pin it down until he was three.

@1stTimeMama he does often say phrases that make no sense at total random though - this morning he woke up and he said “dinosaurs have green eyes, number 100,000 mummy. Number 100,000. Dinosaurs have green eyes.”

He does recognise different emotions - if I’m crying he will say don’t cry mummy. If I shout he will say mummy’s angry/why are you angry mummy.if he hears a baby crying in public he will say the baby is crying etc

The GP said a 3yo who explores a new room he hasn’t been in before has ASD symptoms? Because of that?

why are you worrying what his life will be like? He seems bang average for his age; not advanced or struggling in any area from what you’ve said. Just a normal 3yo. Nothing you’ve said indicates ASD at this stage.