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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is odd?

71 replies

MonkeyDoodles · 05/02/2023 12:55

Friend came over to my house on her lunch break Friday.
She said she had eaten on the way over but I felt it probably wasn't enough food so offered several times to make her a proper lunch. In the end she snapped at me that she was fine. Aibu to think this was an over reaction ?

OP posts:
Hermanfromguesswho · 05/02/2023 12:56

It is a bit odd to offer several times after she had politely said no I think. She just likely got fed up of repeating herself.

Boneweary · 05/02/2023 12:57

It is incredibly tedious having people constantly push food and drink at you. Ask once, a quick ‘are you sure? I’m making …’ then let no be no.

SpinningFloppa · 05/02/2023 12:57

Why is this still bothering you from Friday?

HavfrueDenizKisi · 05/02/2023 12:59

Who put you in charge of deciding if her lunch was enough? You kindly offered once. She declined. That's the point where you don't offer again (and again).

jacult · 05/02/2023 12:59

Is this a reverse? Reverses aren’t big or clever. If it’s not, have a look again as to what you have written and try and work out who is in the wrong here - it should be quite obvious.

dontputitthere · 05/02/2023 12:59

So you decided she hadn't eaten enough. Then repeatedly offered food despite her telling you no you didn't take her no for an answer.

Yes you were odd

She wasn't. Don't blame her being pissed off. What did you think she would do?

Raquelos · 05/02/2023 13:01

You're right, it is a bit odd to keep on at someone who has already politely refused food. Try not to do it again.

AuntieMarys · 05/02/2023 13:02

You have no boundaries

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 05/02/2023 13:02

If this isn't a tedious reverse, then you sound really annoying.

Cherryana · 05/02/2023 13:03

You pushed her boundaries. When an adult says no the first time - believe them and move on.

That you feel aggrieved is your making.

dontputitthere · 05/02/2023 13:03

Actually this reminds me of the mother narcissist thread currently going

Will be fucking annoyed if this is a sodding reverse though.

bloodywhitecat · 05/02/2023 13:04

Any adult who tries to force food on to another person is wrong.

Original poster
MonkeyDoodles · 05/02/2023 13:07

Because I don't think I deserved to be snapped at.
I knew she had a long afternoon ahead also. Things were left awkward and tense afterwards also.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 05/02/2023 13:07

Yes you're odd.

Keepyourmummysboys · 05/02/2023 13:09

Is this a reverse and yes it’s odd.

HeavenIsAHalfpipe · 05/02/2023 13:10

YABU. I get pissed off with people trying to push stuff on me, especially FOOD. I am careful with what I eat for reasons I won't go into, and people trying to bully me into eating something THEY think I should be eating, really fucks me off.

I have been on diets/healthy eating plans, and don't eat any carby/sugary food at all, and there's always SOMEONE who tries to force crappy food on me, and they call me 'boring' or say I don't need to lose weight. Even DH nags me occasionally to 'eat more' when I am trying to lose weight, and will actively encourage me to eat a sugary, high-calorie dessert. Several others in my life do this too (acquaintances/colleagues etc...)

It annoys me SO much. It's like people get irked because they're annoyed you're trying to lose weight (and succeeding!)

Leave your friend alone @MonkeyDoodles When she says no ONCE, just leave it! Stop haranguing her!

Diddelydi · 05/02/2023 13:10

@jacult
What is a reverse?

MegsMon · 05/02/2023 13:11

Well it's really up to her whether or not she's eaten enough so the fact you kept pushing this is odd and actually also rude, even if it was with the best of intentions. Is she dieting? Nothing worse than people trying to push food onto you when you're trying to watch your food intake. So, maybe you did deserve to be snapped at.

MRex · 05/02/2023 13:12

MonkeyDoodles · 05/02/2023 13:07

Because I don't think I deserved to be snapped at.
I knew she had a long afternoon ahead also. Things were left awkward and tense afterwards also.

You DID deserve to be snapped at though. She's an adult, so she decides when her own stomach is full. Very odd behavior on your part.

JaneJeffer · 05/02/2023 13:14

.

To think this is odd?
TomatoSandwiches · 05/02/2023 13:15

Why do you think you know your friends food requirements better than they do op?
It's bloody patronising to treat a friend in such a way, you got the reaction you deserve imo.

KatherineJaneway · 05/02/2023 13:16

When you keep labouring a point, it means you think the person is lying. Not nice to imply she is a liar from her point of view. You asked, she answered. You should have taken her at her word, not think you know best.

EmmaDilemma5 · 05/02/2023 13:18

It sounds like you overstepped your boundary. She's a friend, you don't get to keep going on about food to her.

Just take it as a lesson on when to stop asking the same thing over again. People don't like it. YABU.

gwenneh · 05/02/2023 13:19

MonkeyDoodles · 05/02/2023 13:07

Because I don't think I deserved to be snapped at.
I knew she had a long afternoon ahead also. Things were left awkward and tense afterwards also.

You did deserve to be snapped at after ignoring the previous polite attempts. At least it got through to you.

tangerinetreesandmarmaladeskies · 05/02/2023 13:19

MonkeyDoodles · 05/02/2023 13:07

Because I don't think I deserved to be snapped at.
I knew she had a long afternoon ahead also. Things were left awkward and tense afterwards also.

Then maybe listen to what she says instead of flat-out ignoring her Hmm

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