To think this is odd?

[MonkeyDoodles]

Friend came over to my house on her lunch break Friday.
She said she had eaten on the way over but I felt it probably wasn't enough food so offered several times to make her a proper lunch. In the end she snapped at me that she was fine. Aibu to think this was an over reaction ?

DH does this. He asks me if I want anything and I say no thanks, then a few minutes later he says are you sure I can't get you anything and I say no I'm fine thanks, a few minutes after he'll say did you want a cup of tea/sarnie/whatever and I snap I said no I'm fine and he says ok ok no need to be so snappy 🙄🙄 drives me nuts.

I wouldn't be snappy if you just listened to my reply in the first place.

Yes your behaviour was odd and you did deserve to be snapped at.

You're still doing it!! STOP

You're explaining to us that because she had a long afternoon ahead she needed more food, because obviously you have a better undertanding of her dietetic needs than she does 🙄

You overstepped boundaries. She snapped. You deserved it. Learn from this.

I suspect you won't. Whilst you might consider yourself caring, responsible, well informed, helpful, organised others probably call you overbearing, in your face, bossy, arrogant, condescending and rude. If I was in your company I might prefer a small dose of opium!

You definitely deserved to be snapped at. She told you she’d eaten and didn’t want anything else. She’s an adult and is capable of making that decision for herself. You then challenged this not once, not twice but three times. I’d have snapped too.

Why on earth do you think you know better than her whether she has eaten enough lunch? And then to keep pushing when she declined food.

Stop being weird and think you know better. You did deserve her snapping at you. Listen the first time.

@Diddelydi
A reverse is where the posters deliberately presents themselves as their antagonist so in this scenario they would really be the 'food declining snapper' not the offended feeder host.
I think it's done when I someone is convinced it's an open and shut case though not quite sure what it achieves. It's like "surely you can't really need to ask who's unreasonable "

@JudgeRudy
Thank you

That would have irritated me too @MonkeyDoodles
What they have eaten and how much is their business

Did you used to work on a Foie Gras production line?

@KatherineJaneway
Yes, I'd never looked at it that way. So either you're a liar or thick! Next time someone does similar to me I shall ask them which they believeve l am.....after I've given them a good snapping first 😆

Yes YOU were very odd.

I get fucked off at people who don't take no for an answer. I'm vegetarian and find people at work will offer sweets(as do i). I'll say no thank you, they'll ask if im sure, i say yes, they then they then reassure me that I'm OK to have one if I like saying they don't mind meaning I have to explain that I'm unsure of what's in them, so they then start reading the ingredients and are upset that they've offered something unsuitable.
If I would like one I will say yes please, or can I check the packaging first?

By keeping on it creates stress. After asking and checking for crying out loud drop the subject.

This also happens to family and friends with allergies, and presumably people who eat before arriving at a friend's house for lunch.

You did deseve to be snapped at. You asked her a question and refused to accept her answer

I think a lot of people would have eventually snapped in the situation you've described.

Why did you feel she couldn't assess for herself whether she'd eaten enough? Is she an adult?

Mum is that you?

Will you have a plate of diner? No, Im going out to dinner. Ok well just a quick sandwich then? No, I am going out to dinner in an hour. Right so, just a small slice of cake? And on it goes. People are so annoying continuously offering things when you have said no umpteen times.

At the other extreme, my mum once visited a friend after work, so early afternoon. It was prearranged; she didn't turn up unexpectedly. My mum watched aghast as the friend heated and ate a tin of soup followed by some biscuits in front, not once offering my mum a crumb to eat herself. Such rudeness was unthinkable to her (my mum).

Mind, this same family invited us over one Boxing Day, lunchtime. We were offered one miniscule mince pie each, while we watched their sons scarf down huge turkey sandwiches. Couldn't wait to get out of there and get something to eat ourselves.

They were well off, had a successful business, nice big house, so it isn't as if they were impoverished. Just fucking weird, rude and inhospitable.

*in front of her

She’s an adult… knows if she’s hungry or not. This would royally piss me off!

Yes, it's odd. You should have asked once and accepted her answer, instead of bollocking on like Mrs Doyle with the tea trolley.

I really thought this was going to be a reverse so I have been checking back. With the OP not coming back I presume it was real 😂

A couple of years ago, I was pressured into having lunch when I didn't want anything. This was a working environment (volunteer job) and not a friend's house etc.

They started becoming concerned because I kept saying No I should have told them I was fasting for a blood test. Just wanted them to shut up and leave me alone.

They very kindly bought me lunch as I had no money on me and I didn't bring anything (Normally I would have only been there for a couple of hours but I had to attend a course in the afternoon and I would get something on the way home)

I was grateful but I couldn't help but feel that I was bullied into it. I'm an adult, I should be able to decide whether I want to eat or not.

If I had snapped at them (I really wanted to) then I'd have got the whole third degree about why I was so defensive.

I know you were trying to be kind like the staff at my volunteer job were but No should mean just that.