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Original poster

To warn you to have a man present when selling something on FB?

83 replies

lonelypigorfitflea · 04/02/2023 19:47

Or at least be very careful about it.

I had someone message me a few months ago, asking to buy a big baby item.

I said okay, and he said he would send someone on his behalf to collect. Cash to be paid on collection. The Man arrived and I helped him load the item into his van. He then said he wasn't paying, as he felt the item didn't match the description

I was really confused because I'd just helped him load it on! And he seemed happy with it. He stood there watching me explain why he needed to pay me and then just calmly, face not even showing much sign of pending attack, punched me in the stomach and drove off

The police tracked the van but the number plates were stolen and not traceable to this man. He has been seen on footage of a few neighbour's Ring cameras but that's it.

Gone. I was pregnant at the time.

Please, if selling be careful or have a man with you when selling big Sad

OP posts:
Ifitstoomuchtoasksendmeason · 04/02/2023 21:17

So sorry op, how awful for you 😔
We meet 5 minutes down the road if we sell anything, at the local supermarket, it’s very well known and in a prominent place, plenty of people around

xogossipgirlxo · 04/02/2023 21:20

Tekkentime · 04/02/2023 21:07

Same but we say if either of us gets a weird feeling then he should just leave, don't explain. Have actually had to do it a couple of times.

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OMG! What did make him leave? So far my husband only saw one dodgy type, but he suspects he was drug dealer (due to many reasons, not just because he looked like one :P). Most of the times he meets very normal people or some weird teenagers

xogossipgirlxo · 04/02/2023 21:20

xogossipgirlxo · 04/02/2023 21:20

OMG! What did make him leave? So far my husband only saw one dodgy type, but he suspects he was drug dealer (due to many reasons, not just because he looked like one :P). Most of the times he meets very normal people or some weird teenagers

Show quote history

Sorry, I understood he had to leave, but it might as well been you

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/02/2023 21:24

That's horrific. He should be locked up.

How much were you selling the item for?

Are you ok?

HeavenIsAHalfpipe · 04/02/2023 21:30

Blimey that is horrific. I am so sorry you went though this @lonelypigorfitflea Flowers And yeah, despite what some people say, if a man had been there, this would very likely not have happened.

JudgeRudy · 04/02/2023 21:32

How awful. That must have given you a fright. We all know these type of things happen but we relax and let our guard down so yes, as a FB buyer/seller I shall try to remember not to put myself in a vulnerable position. Thanks for reminding us.
I do live in the real world and as women we may be more vulnerable but I don't like the answer of always needing a man to protect me. I'm trying hard to educate myself to be knowledgeable and assertive. This generally deters people. Unfortunately I don't think it stops them, they just choose an easier victim.

PurpleWisteria1 · 04/02/2023 21:36

God that’s absolutely awful OP. What a dreadful thing to happen.
I agree with you- I never ever agree to pick ups unless my DH is going to be home. Never let lone men into view my property whilst I was alone either when on the market. I don’t even let the tesco man in to drop the shipping inside if I’m alone.
Basically I never knowingly put myself in a position where I’m alone with a stranger male.
Its horrible to say but there are so many horrible men around.

NoGoodUsernamee · 04/02/2023 21:39

God I am so sorry op. That is awful… I really hope they find him what a cunt. Doesn’t get much lower really. Are you and baby ok? I’m so angry on your behalf.

GneissGuysFinishLast · 04/02/2023 21:40

Butchyrestingface · 04/02/2023 20:12

He'd never have made it anyway. Would still be at the Whirlies preparing to navigate 12,000,000 roundabouts.

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂

ThomasinaLivesHere · 04/02/2023 21:42

gawditswindy · 04/02/2023 20:05

It reminds me of this, which went viral a few years ago. But it makes you wonder how many people would be willing to do just this.

wow that’s scary!

OP couldn’t they trace him online? Sorry that happened to you.

There are men who won’t mess with other men but see women as easy targets. Cowards.

tortiecat · 04/02/2023 21:51

That's absolutely awful and I am so sorry this happened to you. What utter scum. I really hope you and your baby are OK.

Theraffarian · 04/02/2023 21:56

I sell a lot on marketplace , when I started I used my own account , the amount of very odd messages and weird behaviour was massive , including a lot of requests to meet up at random locations to complete sales ,when I clearly list everything as collection only.

I soon changed to listing everything on my husbands profile and those types of messages stopped straight away unsurprisingly .

It has the added bonus that people assume they are also collecting from a man , and husband works from home so is around if needed or I feel uncomfortable with a sale . Occasionally I get him to complete it , especially the odd people that arrive at our address and refuse to leave their vehicle to come to our door and just message to let me know they are waiting outside , which always makes me send him out instead 🤣 It’s also always men that do that , which I don’t understand why.

JoonT · 04/02/2023 21:57

There was a shocking case on 24 Hours in Police Custody a while back. A guy put an advert online selling a motorbike (I think), and two men showed up in masks to steal it. The guy chased them in his car, and they crashed. One of them was interviewed, and god, he was an archetypal ’chav’ - skinny, arrogant grin, nasty ratty little face, etc. Vile. He actually turned to the camera with a smirk and said “I used to be a mechanic, but there’s betta ways ta earn a livin innit” Needless to say the guy who’d chased him (honest, decent, loving father, etc) went to prison and the rat-faced chav who’d come to his home, where his children slept, in order to steal, didn’t.

No doubt the two thieves found it hilarious, like those two boys who dragged that policeman to his death and were then photographed grinning and waving at the press the next day. I just don’t know what you can do with people like that. The thought that they then go on to have children of their own is too depressing for words.

Whatthediddlyfeck · 04/02/2023 22:06

jacult · 04/02/2023 19:51

A man being there is unlikely to make a difference, the man may have been punched or worse instead. Some people are just arseholes. Better to get the payment in advance instead, via PayPal or similar.

Payment by PayPal,is the worst thing you can do. Person collects the item, you have no proof that they have it, and they then do a chargeback saying item not received, because you have no proof of delivery, PayPal,sides with them, they get a refund AND the item they collected from you. It’s a well known scam

FirstAvenue · 04/02/2023 22:07

Sorry that you had such a horrible experience. I've had similar issues selling things even as a single male. I quite understand why people will not pay the full amount upfront before collection, but I do always insist on a deposit and I won't give them my address until they pay the deposit. Meeting at a neutral place is also a good idea. Likewise if I sell things via eBay, I always look at the amount of feedback they have received from other transactions.

Unsure33 · 04/02/2023 22:08

It’s strange I said the same thing today . Only because the guy asked so many questions about a simple item . Then two men turned up . I sent my husband out to sort it out just because I felt uncomfortable .

Montay · 04/02/2023 22:13

The picture showing the message exchange about the golf clubs was some idiots idea of a practical joke, it wasn't somebody actually plotting to rob the guy.

OP I suspect the man who came was the same one who messaged you, he was just trying to put you off the scent a bit "that wasn't me it was somebody else"

I'm so sorry this happened to you, are you OK? I really hope that you and ofc baby are.

SpinningFloppa · 04/02/2023 22:13

Not all of us have a man around! I’m a single parent so not a possibility but saying that I don’t sell anything I’ve heard way too many horror stories honestly I would rather chuck things away, hate all you want but I’ve heard loads of similar stories not worth the risk.

Koicrap · 04/02/2023 22:15

Oh my God! That’s vile! You poor thing. 💐

My husband sold a pair of shoes recently and asked if I would be in the next day for the bloke to pick them up. I would’ve been in alone with my toddler. Abso-fucking-lutley not.

Luckily I told him that was far from ideal before he gave our address out. I said if he wants to sell things to random people he’ll have to drop off instead.

username4223 · 04/02/2023 22:38

That's absolutely awful. This is the reason I am completely put off offering collection when selling items. There are so many crazy people out there. I'd rather just pay/charge the extra to get the item posted/delivered.

badgergirly · 04/02/2023 22:41

Oh my word. That's absolutely horrendous!!

Could I ask where abouts in the country this was? Is everything ok with the baby.

You poor thing.

BankOfDave · 04/02/2023 22:42

OMG OP. I just stopped in my tracks when I read he punched you. What sort of animal doesn’t that. Sooooo angry 😡

I hope you are ok. That all sounds v scary.

SlightlyJaded · 04/02/2023 22:46

@Montay Really? How do you know that?

Op - that's awful. Thanks for the warning.

I've had this in reverse. Went to collect a chair and the bloke kept insisting I come and get it. I had been dealing with a 'Joanna' but no profile pic so was already a bit on the back foot when a man answered. I asked him to bring the chair to the door and he wouldn't. He kept telling me that he wanted to me to see "how nice it looks in a living room, like".

I was wavering because if it had been a woman, I would have probably offered to help carry it out but in the end, I gave myself a talking to and made myself stop worrying about being polite.

So I told him that I wasn't comfortable going in a strangers house and that he could either bring it out or forget it. Luckily it was cash on collection, so no money lost, but I think I'd have walked away even if I'd paid (or gone back with DH at a later date).

Allytheapple · 04/02/2023 22:50

We learned this lesson too when my friend luckily has her police officer husband (chief superintendent) there when 3 loons took their sofa out to the van and refused to pay. It was all very quick and messy but obviously her husband didn’t fess up about being in the police and he left them go when they refused to pay but he had them caught an arrested within a few miles of the house. It is absolutely hideous what you experienced @lonelypigorfitflea being pregnant too it’s horrific

Bamboozle123 · 04/02/2023 22:59

What does this have to do with whether you are a man or woman?