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AIBU?

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Original poster

To warn you to have a man present when selling something on FB?

83 replies

lonelypigorfitflea · 04/02/2023 19:47

Or at least be very careful about it.

I had someone message me a few months ago, asking to buy a big baby item.

I said okay, and he said he would send someone on his behalf to collect. Cash to be paid on collection. The Man arrived and I helped him load the item into his van. He then said he wasn't paying, as he felt the item didn't match the description

I was really confused because I'd just helped him load it on! And he seemed happy with it. He stood there watching me explain why he needed to pay me and then just calmly, face not even showing much sign of pending attack, punched me in the stomach and drove off

The police tracked the van but the number plates were stolen and not traceable to this man. He has been seen on footage of a few neighbour's Ring cameras but that's it.

Gone. I was pregnant at the time.

Please, if selling be careful or have a man with you when selling big Sad

OP posts:
OhmygodDont · 04/02/2023 20:19

So sorry this happened to you. All expensive or big items I always have dh or another adult at home. I know it sounds childish but I’ve always been nervy selling expensive stuff alone. The whole checking the cash in front of the person.

I would definitely get your own cameras too though. We have multiple plus a ring on the front of the house (others on rear too) plus a few blinks inside in communal spaces turned on when we feel required.

Sugargliderwombat · 04/02/2023 20:19

Unfortunately people like this are absolute cowards and having a man there would make a difference.

Moonshine74 · 04/02/2023 20:28

I often sell on marketplace if it's a household item (I love vinted for clothes and small items) but I always make sure my DP is here if it's a bulky item, I've luckily never experienced anything awful like you have but I always feel like it's a risk. I'm so sorry that happened to you!

FlissyPaps · 04/02/2023 20:34

What the actual fuck?!!! OP, this is horrendous. I hope you are okay.

Yes, I think you’re right. It’s much safer to have a man with you when dealing with money and strangers.

I wouldn’t sell anything on Facebook Marketplace now, I’ve heard awful stories about time wasters, aggressive people and cheeky fuckers.

Horrible bastard. Hope he feels big and hard for punching a pregnant lone woman. Feel sorry for his wife/partner.

WombsofWimbledon · 04/02/2023 20:35

If it’s something that fits into a normal car I don’t give my home address and meet in a public place instead.

Evenstar · 04/02/2023 20:37

I don’t arrange pick up of items unless DH is home and I give his mobile number if it’s a man coming round. We shouldn’t have to be afraid, but I always err on the side of caution. I am sorry this happened to you OP.

thetrees · 04/02/2023 20:41

This is horrendous, I'm so sorry, you must be really shaken up

Winniepoo · 04/02/2023 20:41

I'm so sorry this happened to you it must have been terrifying. When arranging a collection like this I always say I'll not he home when they want to come but my husband will handle the handover which will probably dissuade anyone looking to do this. They're less likely to pull it in the first place if they go in knowing they're dealing with a man rather than a woman xx

WestwardHo1 · 04/02/2023 20:42

Good god that's appalling 😡Are you ok?

What is wrong with these fucking men?

Theemptychair23 · 04/02/2023 20:44

It's happened too me several years ago.
I've learnt from my mistakes now.
I too was heavily pregnant at the time.
I don't have any men in my life, so I never trusted anyone again.
I wonder if it was the same person, despite it being several years ago. I didn't report it as I was too shaken at the time.

HikingforScenery · 04/02/2023 20:46

That’s terrible! i’m so sorry :(

heldinadream · 04/02/2023 20:46

God the utter, utter bastard. Take care of yourself OP. Hugs.

Justmeandthedog1 · 04/02/2023 20:47

Hope you’re ok, OP. What a scumbag.

JustDrama · 04/02/2023 20:47

Did the police not try and trace him through Facebook?

I had similar where I was selling an iPhone. Guy tried to haggle. I told him I could get more via a website so no. He eventually relented and agreed a price, I have him my address. He messaged saying he was run route and that he will haggle again when he gets here. I told him he wasn't welcome and to fuck off. Next day he agreed the price again and said he'd come round. I'd already sold to the next person. Utter chancer.

Tessisme · 04/02/2023 20:50

What a horrible experience. Hope you recovered ok.

I put a baby item on Gumtree a few years ago. A woman answered and said she would send her husband to collect it. He arrived, along with some other bloke, gave me the money and lifted the item. Then both of them started asking if I had anything else for sale. When I said 'no', they got a bit pushy and started trying to see into the living room and front bedroom (we're in a bungalow). I felt very intimidated. Luckily, DP came out of the shower at that point and they made their excuses and buggered off.

Theemptychair23 · 04/02/2023 20:53

Sounds like the same person to me.

Hellybelly84 · 04/02/2023 20:55

Unless its someone I know (friend of a friend from my town), I will never sell anything without my Husband here. Not worth the risk. Also, never go and collect anything without going with a partner. Scammers use the fb sites all the time (I was just discussing this with family today).

winningeasy · 04/02/2023 20:55

So sorry this happened, what utter scum, I hope you and your baby are ok x

Tekkentime · 04/02/2023 20:56

I absolutely always send my husband for buying and selling for this exact reason and funnily enough have never had any problems!

BTMadmummy · 04/02/2023 20:58

This is just shocking, I hope you are okay @lonelypigorfitflea

Luredbyapomegranate · 04/02/2023 21:03

jacult · 04/02/2023 19:51

A man being there is unlikely to make a difference, the man may have been punched or worse instead. Some people are just arseholes. Better to get the payment in advance instead, via PayPal or similar.

I’d agree

But so sorry this happened to you OP

xogossipgirlxo · 04/02/2023 21:05

OMG, OP how horrible!!! I'm so sorry this happened to you. Are you OK???
My husband buys a lot of collection only items on ebay and I'm always so nervous when he goes to someone's house. You can't trust anyone :(

GyozaGuiting · 04/02/2023 21:07

Oh god! I hope you’re ok Op.
this is why I just don’t do Facebook selling anymore, you get fucked around and I find Vinted/eBay just so much easier! Some absolute chancers on Facebook marketplace

Tekkentime · 04/02/2023 21:07

xogossipgirlxo · 04/02/2023 21:05

OMG, OP how horrible!!! I'm so sorry this happened to you. Are you OK???
My husband buys a lot of collection only items on ebay and I'm always so nervous when he goes to someone's house. You can't trust anyone :(

Same but we say if either of us gets a weird feeling then he should just leave, don't explain. Have actually had to do it a couple of times.

overthink4r · 04/02/2023 21:15

What a really awful thing he did. So blatant and nasty. Stealing is one thing but punching you too?! I had some men cold call offering garden services, I did have some huge hedges so I said give them a trim. I said I would pay after and asked them when they would collect payment. They didn't come at the agreed time and came a day later demanding extra money for having to make a second trip. I held my ground and told them tough tits they made a second trip and to argue it out with my husband, I shouted from the door way upstairs for my hubby, they said just pay us we will go. I totally bluffed it. Just shows females totally do get taken advantage of.

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