To get really attached to people and miss them a lot when they leave my life?

[sosadd]

I'm a really sentimental, sensitive kind of person and it makes life feel so abrasive and difficult. One way it shows itself is I get really attached to people, even random acquaintances and I find myself missing them when they are no longer in my life. It doesn't feel healthy to be honest. I don't know if it's because I'm struggling with change, but I get quite upset when colleagues leave the company. I wish they would all stay forever and I'd have the same, consistent group around me. I especially find it hard when I know I'll never see them again, e.g. if they move abroad. Just the idea of the finality of never seeing them again, or hearing their voice. It weirds me out.

My manager left the company this week and I am heartbroken. I've cried every evening this week, and when they put in a meeting for our final 1:1 I cried at the Teams notification. It's ridiculous. I watched at 5:30 as their status went from online to offline, knowing they are never going to log in again, never going to review my work again. I know I'm being weird and kind of creepy to be honest lol, I know it's OTT, but I don't know how to get over myself and have a more normal reaction.

Is anyone else like this?

"I hate it that when colleagues go, they just move on without thinking about me or missing me but I miss them hugely."

I miss many of my former colleagues on some level and with some jobs have tried to go back for visits or kept in touch outside of work, but at the end of the day, if you get a better offer you have to accept it.

I'm the total opposite.

I feel fairly detached a lot of the time (except with my children)

This is pretty extreme OP, I'd say it's beyond the realms of what's considered ,normal. I was thinking possible ASD or BPD. I definitely think it's worth getting some help with as it sounds like this is all very upsetting for you.

I'm like this tbh.

This sounds ridiculous but my DS has just split up with his girlfriend of around 6 weeks. He is nearly 16 and it wasn't his decision. Obviously I'm worried about him, feel really sad for him and giving him an appropriate level of tlc without being over the top. That saId, I've secretly felt really down over the weekennd and I'm really going to miss her coming round. She spent a lot of time in our house and really fitted in with our family well. TBH there can be quite a lot of tension in our house and I am the only female, it was lovely having another female around.

I'm aware that this might make me sound unhinged, but I lost my Mum at 27, I lost a very close friend very suddenly 9 years ago (brain bleed), I lost my MIL very suddenly 8 years ago (stomach aneurysm) and I lost my Dad just over three month ago, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in July which had alreay spread to his bones, died at the end of October. Sorry for sounding like I'm having a pity party and apologies for hijacking my thread. I'm also going through menopause (on HRT), but I guess it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out why I feel the way I do.

Sure I miss people but far out I really think if you are crying you could benefit from seeking some help for that

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/about-bpd/

I will suggest you something:
Now whenever u met any person, alwyz fix this in ur mind that this contact is temporary, they will leave, they will chnge and alwyz remeber u must not get closer to any person cox thn it will leave a mark on ur heart when thy will leave... Alwyz remember ur sadness, restlessness caused due to attachmnts while makking new ones...

Due to Facebook it's not really goodbye anymore is it ?

As one door shuts another one opens in the corridor of life until we get to the end and meet the brick wall . There is a song by the Beatles called In my life . It's about looking back with fondness but realising that being with loved ones is what matters .

But then the OP, and others like her, (myself included), will struggle to form the bonds of closeness which enrich our lives, which is not a solution either. I have the same issue as the OP, and have been in therapy for anxious attachment issues; and the solution is certainly not closing ourselves off to all potential relationships / friendships because "they will leave".

So basically, only befriend people you’ve kidnapped and keep in your basement, or live an entirely solitary life because no one will sign your ‘I will never move away or change’ guarantee?

No! Far out that is way too intense I think

Please ignore the suggestions you have BPD because you feel sentimental about the people you meet. 🙄

I am like this although only about people I am friends with. I do have Autism and ADHD and I find change difficult and also struggle with understanding how people can both be my friend but then not what to be friends. I have an anxious attachment style in general.

People get shot down for suggesting neurodiversity as a reason for things but like others I think managing transitions can be really hard with ADHD and autism.

I actually find ADHD hard because I can go from one extreme to the other.

Do you have a close relationship with your family? Do you live near them?