Thoughts on moving from England to Florida

[Decisions2023]

Other half wants us to move from England to his home town in Florida. He has family and friends there etc and he can keep the same job. We have a 9 months of baby and the move is making me nervous. The thought of making my child American is making me nervous as it would become his home and all he knows. I'm not sure if I'm thinking rational. We are not well off and the thought of making this big decision on my childs behalf makes me anxious/nervous.

Do you think I would be putting my child at an advantage or disadvantage?

Thanks in advance.

My DDs secondary school does lockdown drills. So does my friends son’s primary school.

It probably isn’t as widespread as in the US though.

I live here and can't live anywhere else now. Especially not Florida 😂.

A+ place to have a breakdown 10/10 would recommend.

Ive been a teacher for 18 years, in several different schools and roles (teacher/senco/deputy head/acting head) and never has any school i have been in done a lockdown drill. Fire alarms yes, but definitely not active shooter drills or dangerous person drills.

For all you ageists out there, the median age in Florida is 42. My guess is that that is about the same as the median age on Mumsnet.

I'm not recommending yay or nay for moving to Florida, but it very much depends on what part of the state you would be going to. It's a big state, with quite a bit of geographical and cultural diversity. As for quality of education, that also varies considerably by location. Some school districts are among the best in the nation, others not so much.

I don't want my kids in an open carry state.

Massachusetts is lovely. It's one of the most prosperous and progressive states in the country. It's very cold in the winter and, if you're on the coast, relatively warm in the summer. The western part of the state is quite rural, while the eastern part is very urban, most particularly Boston.

Cost of living and taxes are very high compared to the rest of America, but so are the wages and standards of education. There are pockets of real poverty in places, as there are in all states. A lot of higher education in the state, including many of the best colleges and universities in the country.

There can be a sense of complacency and at times homogeneity and smugness. Winters can be brutal. Some of the former industrial towns are vastly under-resourced. The drivers are often fucking terrible. (There's a reason they're called Massholes.) Their sports teams keep winning and keep thinking of themselves as underdogs (I'm looking at you, Red Sox).

If, however, any of the following pictures appeal to you, you should at least visit.

My concern with pensioners is their voting habits, actually.
Pensioners often vote for issues that are important to them, and reject those that are less import. School funding levies, for instance, which is how American public schools get their money, are often voted down by an older population. They've long since educated their kids, so why would they want to pay higher property taxes to educate yours?

@allfurcoatnoknickers please adopt us! We promise not to have any breakdowns!

On the back of this thread I asked my secondary school aged child about lockdown drills. He confirmed they have a separate alarm sound and we're told what to do in yr 7. But he's never actually practiced one.

Everyday is a school day eh?!

@Nancydrawn Massachusetts is God's own country. You can have gorgeous beaches in summer and be less than 2 hours to ski in the winter. It's public schools have filed as their own country in the PISA reports because they do THAT well. Education levels are ridiculously high. The roads are insane but honesty fine once you get used to following the damn pilgrim hat to find the mass pike! The children's museum in Boston is so much fun for kids. People from Mass will always help anyone. They give very few fucks what they look like. Never a school shooting. 🙏🏻

Florida is not an open carry state.

Florida is such a poor example of living in the US. However, if you can read up on the political climate and how it affects day to day life, then it might suit you.

I'd sooner live at the north pole than anywhere in Florida.

@allfurcoatnoknickers I can't wait 😂😂😂

But if you're broke here, wouldn't you be broke there if he's keeping the same job?

OP will never get an unbiased sensible advice here as posts about UK v US or Australia very win it descend into people making stereotypical generic statements.

My advice will be she stays put in the UK as she will most likely hate it given she can’t even stand the thought of her child being raised as an American.

yes there has been a shortage of eggs of recent and prices gone but but it is not $18 for however many the poster claimed, that’s just a lie. No you don’t need $80k for university as you can go to you state options, and there ar am at opportunities for scholarships, financial aid etc, the average student debt on the US is significant lower than the average student debt in the UK at $37k v £45k and graduate salaries are higher in the US.

Yes the US has its issues but the fact remains despite its issues many many people will have successful rewarding lives in the US but when you read MN you make it sound like everyone in the US is living a life of misery compared to an amazing happy life in the UK.

Not necessarily 🤷 plus they'd need to be married which OP doesn't mention. The US immigration rules are super rigid, they makenit very hard sadly. Even for spouses and children of citizens, lots of length hoops to jump through.

I have three DC at different schools in London and they have never done any sort of lockdown drill.

This. Honestly the scale of the problem is nowhere near the same. And the US has extremist terror attacks ON TOP.

Not really, if the husband is a citizen which her reference to his hometown suggest then the child is already a citizen and can apply for a passport with his fathers proof of citizenship’s and birth certificate. It will be easier if they registered his birth with the US embassy in the Uk but it doesn’t change the process or outcome.

The wife is an immediate family member and it is quicker to get a green card compared to say siblings which can take years depending on country of birth.

If they are not married then they can either decide to get married in the UK and apply as spouse (see above) or apply for a fiancée visa and they are given 90 days to get married in the US. They don’t have to have a big expensive wedding, a quick civil wedding will do.

This is the other thread on the school drills. The vote was pretty 50/50, although I suspect that at least some of those voters don't realise that they have them. I asked my 2 and they said no, so I described them and they said of oh yeah we do those.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4720747-dangerous-person-in-school?page=1

@Cantstandbullshitanymore the eggs at Walmart this week were $13 for 18

Still not exactly a bargain

And dds partner came to study in the UK as it was cheaper than sending him to college in the US

I agree the UK isn't all rosy, I fucking hate it, but I'd choose it over the US

@Decisions2023 do you work in the UK and do you expect to work in the US? Have you looked into possible jobs and salaries to compare with what you get in the UK?

Having said that I fear you will be unhappy and compare back to the UK and based on that would say stay in the UK. What does your husband say when you tell him you’re reluctant to move?

Also none of my dcs do drills (large city secondary school)

Friend moved there over 20 years ago as married a nice chap she met here...they bought some cheap land and had animals and love it....then a freeway was planned so they sold a big chunk of land for millions so now have retired at age 42 and sail around the world....how fab....that wouldnt happen here...but personally i have no interest in visiting or living in usa again...might go over for a house eco build course one day as they look interesting !

Maybe it is that high in some areas but that is not representative of everywhere s d I bought eggs from Jewe Osco in Chicago this week.

I just checked Walmart+ for eggs and 18 is $6 and that is higher than a few months ago.

Your dds may have attended uni in the Us cheaper but as I said majority of students actually end up with lower student debt in the US than Uk and when you exclude the over $100k student debt which is made of medical and law school students and people who choose expensive private universities without funding the average student debt is even lower than the $37k I referenced above.