Thoughts on moving from England to Florida

[Decisions2023]

Other half wants us to move from England to his home town in Florida. He has family and friends there etc and he can keep the same job. We have a 9 months of baby and the move is making me nervous. The thought of making my child American is making me nervous as it would become his home and all he knows. I'm not sure if I'm thinking rational. We are not well off and the thought of making this big decision on my childs behalf makes me anxious/nervous.

Do you think I would be putting my child at an advantage or disadvantage?

Thanks in advance.

I LOVE Florida but it is an expensive place to live. I go there all the time. How would your finances work? Do you have a job there? It’s a huge place, where are you moving to?

If you split up while living in the US, your h could prevent you from taking you son back to the UK so you could be trapped there a long time if things become nasty. I wouldn't want to risk being on that situation.

I would live in the USA in a heartbeat if I could. I love it there and I have friends and family who moved from the UK over the last 40 years and none regret it.

No way would I move to the US.

The idea of my children having to do active shooter drills in school terrifies me.

I live in the US and am married to an American and have a 3.5 year old with a thick NYC accent. I absolutely LOVE it here and have no intention of moving back to the UK. I think being worried about your child being American is weird tbh, but there is no way in the world I would move to Florida. The entire state is a total hard-right MAGA shitshow.

Just Google Ron DeSantis - he's the Governor and a pro-gum, anti-abortion, anti-gay nutjob.

Are you married?

would you be allowed to work there?

those are important questions

@IslandLife88 When you say you go there all the time is that with work or holidays? I was thinking if visiting often with the children would satisfy other half. I'm not sure why I'm so nervous about moving there officially.

@Dartmoorcheffy could you not move there? What is it that is stopping you? If you don't mind me asking.

Have you been there to visit before, at all? I think I'd want to have been at least once before deciding to make a permanent change.

School kids do drills here too.

⬆️ this.

Where do you live in the UK that the children do active shooter drills?

@RoseslnTheHospital I grew up in Oxfordshire and my school used to do bomb drills alongside the fire drills. We had some pupils with prestigious/controversial parents who used to get death threats.

I left school in 2005.

I'm a secondary school teacher and we do have lock down drills for things like this.

I couldn't do it. The heat the humidity, the 3 months every year that the schools close. The casual mention of shooting on the news.
Add in the fact as the British mother of an American child you are stuck there once you go.
I'd think on.

It's incredibly difficult to get a visa to the US. Most people won't qualify, and even if you do, it's a long, expensive and arduous process.

You can't just decide you want to live there as a non-cititzen and then just up-sticks and go.

@ZooMount I was a secondary school teacher and have never come across anyone who's regularly done any kind of "lock down drill" in the UK in secondary schools. Surely you're not suggesting that it's widespread and typical in the UK?

Clearly, a specific school with a specific known threat due to threats being made against high profile parents/children is not what is being referred to.

It can be difficult (and expensive) to move to the US- not just the logistics, but actually obtaining a visa.

Is getting a visa for all three of you an actual realistic possibility?

Sorry, @Decisions2023, this is not really relevant to your question!

I would definitely want to learn more about the implications for education, citizenship, travel etc for your child if you move. And for you if you stay there long term. Would you be able to get comprehensive health insurance for you all?

That’s unusual.

I was at school in Northern Ireland during the troubles, and my kids are at primary now. The only drills I’ve ever heard of are bog-standard fire drills, not for a bomb or shooter situation.

I wouldn’t OP, just because it means you could be stuck there for the rest of your life. If you split up, you would have to stay or potentially leave your child behind.

Plus their cheese sucks! 😄

The humidity is really not that bad, the weather is lovely year round. Hurricanes are shit but you learn to prepare for it. The shopping and the entertainment are amazing, lots to do. Medical care in Miami is too notch BUT all this assumes you are very well off with high incomes. It’s an utterly shit place to be if you’re poor!!

Also, having moved half way across the world together with DP once already, i can assure you it puts a huge strain on the relationship. Add in a small child and the fact you would be trapped there forever…I wouldn’t do it!

I think schedule lots of holidays there. But absolutely do not move until you are 100% on board and have secured a well paying job (the visa will be a big issue as well).

American here, and whilst I often entertain the notion of moving back, Florida would be at the very bottom of my list for places to go. Public schools are atrocious in Florida, for one thing. Politics, uggh. Weather is hot, sticky and can be downright devastating during hurricane season. Flying cockroaches, alligators, lizards. And loads of pensioners. Just, no.

Yah, America has gun massacres from deranged teenagers, we have terrorist attacks from Islamic extremists. Apples to apples.

I would not be moving anywhere which meant my DD couldn’t wear light-up soled trainers due to the risk of school shooters. There were 51 school shootings in 2022 that resulted in injuries, with no sign of any plans to address the underlying issues and causes for those events. You’d also be trapped in the US should you ever split up. There’s no chance you’d get your DC back to the UK without his agreement. Plus the costs of health insurance, lack of clarity over whether you’d be able to work….

Florida is an amazing holiday destination and base to explore the rest of the US and I would gladly go yearly, but no way would I move there in your shoes.

And loads of pensioners. Just, no

Oh the horror. Old people. And out in public assaulting your gaze, no doubt.