Thoughts on moving from England to Florida

[Decisions2023]

Other half wants us to move from England to his home town in Florida. He has family and friends there etc and he can keep the same job. We have a 9 months of baby and the move is making me nervous. The thought of making my child American is making me nervous as it would become his home and all he knows. I'm not sure if I'm thinking rational. We are not well off and the thought of making this big decision on my childs behalf makes me anxious/nervous.

Do you think I would be putting my child at an advantage or disadvantage?

Thanks in advance.

These were the ones I bought
And the meat was $23
You can't pretend that's normal for groceries

And still on the egg topic this was a pic by me in Costco last week $16 for 5 dozen eggs.

It looks like to depends on location, where are you based? The XL 18 eggs is going for $6.83.m in Chicago.

And yes I do agree prices have increased recently but same as the Uk and everywhere else. Eggs definitely have increased a lot due recent shortages which hopefully should ease soon so those prices are not the norm.

@TomAllenWife o see you’re looking at the cage free version, can’t find it on the app here to compare prices but looks like its location dependent but hopefully prices ease up soon as the shortages subside.

What immigration status would you have and could you work? We know a couple who moved for his job and she couldn’t legally work for years (she babysat a neighbour’s children off the record) Will healthcare cover you and child?
If you have another child how would it work. Maternity leave is short.
If you had another child and it was American born and you split he could prevent you returning to uk with it. Potential nightmare if you can’t work in USA.
I like Florida for hols been 25 plus times but don’t think I could live there.

It doesn’t sound like you want to.

But at the most I’d try it for a year, I certainly wouldn’t move for good without trying it out first.

But what you must do is take legal advice on what would happen to your child were you to separate in the US.

You also need to explore your working status of course. It might be some time before you could work.. do you pool your money now? That will be important.

I am on the other side of this - American stuck in the UK who would rather be closer to family. The thing is, it isn’t fair either way- someone is always out of their element, far from family, and compromising socially and/or professionally.

your kids are presumably dual citizens, as are mine, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to connect them with the other half of their heritage. I think they deserve to know both.

would you be willing to do it for a fixed period ( 2-3 years)? Is it the forever move aspect that is the problem? I personally struggle with the idea that I will NEVER be near family again. It would feel more balanced to me if I thought we could spend a few years near family, but careers, homeownership etc make that difficult for us.

fwiw, Florida would not be my top choice, but it varies widely across the state. I actually think early childhood education is miles better in the US. Healthcare is better too (by a wide margin) assuming you have insurance- it is a standard benefit in most professional jobs.

If she's married to an American citizen she will apply for a greencard which is far less onerous that dealing with fucking home office. We've done it both ways and the American system is faster and more transparent. Home office play all sorts of games!

I couldn’t stick the heat and humidity. If climate change becomes as bad as some predict, Florida will be unbearable in a decade or two. Why would you move somewhere hot just as the world is getting hotter? I often think that when people emigrate to Australia. I’m in Essex, and last summer was unbearable. The July and August heat literally reduced me to tears. I even ended up on Rightmove desperately checking house prices in Northumberland and Scotland.

The Florida from the news?

Seriously tho, I’m American and living in the UK, and would never consider living in Florida. Between the politics of hate, horrifying education system, and ever worsening hurricanes it’s just scary.

Everywhere in Florida is air conditioned. It's far more bearable than the U.K. when hot. Most neighbourhoods will have pools if not the individual houses. I'm not saying it's a good choice but there no comparison in terms of comfort.

Yeah kids in the UK do drills. In America, they regularly have the real thing.

Don't be alarmist. British schools don't require their kids to do shooter drills

Lockdown drills are routine in England

In 2020, there were 25,000 murders in the USA, since 2001 there have been 14,000 in the UK. Your quote isnt apples v apples, its comparing a watermelon to a grape

I wouldn’t move to Florida. No way.

I’ve lived in the US for twenty years—NYC and Connecticut—and would only live in a handful of states: Connecticut, Maine, Vermont, Massachusetts, certain parts of New York. Basically, blue states with excellent education systems and the strictest gun laws.

Make sure you have healthcare coverage with your job. That’s a biggie. If you do, the healthcare is fantastic: no waits, plenty of choice about which specialists you’d like to see etc. I just had a small procedure done at Weill Cornell in NYC and the place is like a five-star hotel.

What were your thoughts regarding moving to his home country before you married @Decisions2023?

Was it something your DH has always planned/wanted to do at some point in the future? were you more open to it before having had your baby? It’s a tough call - I suppose compromise means trying it for a year or so but it really depends how much you agreed to it or knew he’s always wanted to from the outset or how much it’s ever been on the table.

England - You learn what to do when the fire alarm goes off

USA - You learn what to do when there is an active shooter and how to play dead

No way!

Hi Op … lots of advice about the us here from people who clearly do not live here. The us is not one big country but 50 little ones stuffed on a massive state. Every state has its on an identity. I love living in America, I love with liberal people who understand democracy, I have good healthcare , my kids are in excellent (public schools) and I have access to loads of lakes, forests, and parks for recreation. But I don’t live on Florida. Are you okay with them banning books? Can you cope with the climate? Even the issue of custody of your children?

Blimey - which supermarket in which town? DH works in Florida and this is not his experience. But then a while ago someone was telling me how expensive Florida is and it turns out she’s in Palm Beach.

Eggs are $4.89 a dozen where I live, and mince is $4.99 a pound.

We live very very comfortably on a lot less than $6k a month per person, and we have two children in private universities.

Maine has VERY loose gun laws.

I am American and i Wouldn’t live in Florida for anything. The weather is nice in the winter but sweltering and humid in the spring and summer. There are nice vacation spots but it is in a lot of ways very backward. The governor is far right and may well be the next republican presidential candidate. Lots of guns. The public (state) schools are generally considered very bad.
There are lots of lovely places to live in America but you couldn’t pay me to live in Florida.

No it's not. US citizen's spouses qualify for GC and so do the children if not born in the US.

The idea of my children having to do active shooter drills in school terrifies me.

Most UK schools already do this but it's often called 'Dog in the playground'

Your partner is crazy. America is a dangerous and backward country especially if you're a woman. What if you need an abortion or you have another pregnancy and have a girl? You are bringing her up in a country, especially a state like Florida, where she cannot access abortion even if the foetus is dead. Your current child has a very high likelihood of being killed in a school shooting, well at least a much, much, much, much higher likelihood than in the UK. There is no maternity leave, no minimum wage, no reproductive rights for women, and no real health care. Literally, and I do mean literally, hundreds of thousands of Americans go bankrupt because they cannot afford health insurance bills, and/or die from lack of treatment. This isn't hyperbole. Look it up. After being in the UK you'd think your partner wouldn't want to ever go back to America ever again. He is also only thinking of himself and not the lack of human rights and opportunities for women.

It may be slightly better if you were moving to a progressive state like California. But Florida? The southern Taliban? You'd be mad to live there. I would be too afraid to even visit there let alone live there. The UK has it's problems, but it is 50 thousand times better, safer, and the land of freedom and opportunity than Florida is! I'd split over this, I genuinely would. As a woman it's a life/death scenario for you/your daughter/child and I'd say it's out forever or split. Don't sacrifice your daughters (or even son's) life and freedom and health for something that is essentially a warzone and a second Taliban. Don't do that to them.