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Original poster

Thoughts on moving from England to Florida

404 replies

Decisions2023 · 03/02/2023 18:29

Other half wants us to move from England to his home town in Florida. He has family and friends there etc and he can keep the same job. We have a 9 months of baby and the move is making me nervous. The thought of making my child American is making me nervous as it would become his home and all he knows. I'm not sure if I'm thinking rational. We are not well off and the thought of making this big decision on my childs behalf makes me anxious/nervous.

Do you think I would be putting my child at an advantage or disadvantage?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
PuttingDownRoots · 03/02/2023 19:34

I first experienced an "invacuation drill" in 2009.... main reason was for gang warfare at that school! They cover everything from dangerous animals, fights in grounds, dangerous adult trying to enter. Its not as extreme as some of the American school ones I've seen online (which are very disturbing).

Florida appears to have a very discrimatory reputation currently... only ok for straight white men. What the reality is will need actual residents to describe.

StillWantingADog · 03/02/2023 19:35

How can he keep the same job and if he can has he taken into account that the cost of living is way higher over there and that you likely won’t be able to work?
so many questions, I would be resisting hard

I don’t think the UK is a particularly good place to bring up a kid these days but Florida sounds awful.

WonderingWanda · 03/02/2023 19:35

Florida is quite big, where more specifically? Things that would put me off are mosquitoes, climate change, sea level rise, cat 5 hurricanes, in fact all hurricanes, tidal surges, guns, humidity, gun crime, Miami, crocodiles, Disney, tourism, no seasons. Did I mention mosquitoes?

Things that appeal to me, The Everglades (without crocs and mozzies), The Floriday Keys, palm trees, pools (without crocs or mozzies) and nice weather.

On balance I'd rather just visit.

beautifulpaintings · 03/02/2023 19:36

TheCraicDealer · 03/02/2023 19:07

I would not be moving anywhere which meant my DD couldn’t wear light-up soled trainers due to the risk of school shooters. There were 51 school shootings in 2022 that resulted in injuries, with no sign of any plans to address the underlying issues and causes for those events. You’d also be trapped in the US should you ever split up. There’s no chance you’d get your DC back to the UK without his agreement. Plus the costs of health insurance, lack of clarity over whether you’d be able to work….

Florida is an amazing holiday destination and base to explore the rest of the US and I would gladly go yearly, but no way would I move there in your shoes.

@TheCraicDealer that's chilling about the shoes.

FatGirlSwim · 03/02/2023 19:39

RoseslnTheHospital · 03/02/2023 19:00

@ZooMount I was a secondary school teacher and have never come across anyone who's regularly done any kind of "lock down drill" in the UK in secondary schools. Surely you're not suggesting that it's widespread and typical in the UK?

Clearly, a specific school with a specific known threat due to threats being made against high profile parents/children is not what is being referred to.

My kids don’t do them here (Wales) but all my friends who teach in England say they do.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 03/02/2023 19:40

Added to which, lack of basic social services. Family's with children living in cars and tents

wordler · 03/02/2023 19:40

To answer PP's visa questions.

Assuming he is an American citizen and you are a British citizen? Are you married or planning to become married? Without that you can't get a visa easily to go and live over there. There's a spousal visa and a fiance visa. If you are not married yet, the spousal visa is a better option because you'll be able to work and travel in and out of the US as soon as you enter because you immediately get a green card (it's also slightly cheaper in terms of fees).

With the fiance visa you will have to get married within 90 days of arrival in the USA and then you apply for the greencard. This option means you won't be able to work for several months (up to 8/9 months under current waiting times), nor leave the USA without abandoning the whole process and having to start all over if you wanted to come back to the USA.

If your other half is an American citizen and has live in the USA for at least five years as a citizen, including two years after the age of 14, then your baby is automatically a US citizen too, so they don't need a visa just apply for their American passport.

Cost for your visa if you go for the spousal visa:

Initial application: $535
Entry fee: $220
Visa Medical fee: £290.00 (they make you do this at only one specified doctors office in London so you have to travel to London to get this done)
You also have to travel to London to get your visa approved so factor that into the finances.

Your husband will have to provide financial information to show he can cover your costs - for a family of three he needs to show he will be earning $28,787 in the USA. Or if you have assets like savings from the sale of a house it must come to 3x the amount above. He can use a family member as a joint sponsor if he can't meet the financial requirement.

Also, none of this is going to be quick - current waiting times to process a spousal visa are anything from 12-18 months.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 03/02/2023 19:43

allfurcoatnoknickers · 03/02/2023 19:17

@Nancydrawn Adding falling Iguanas to my list of reasons to avoid Florida.

It's just become item no. 1 on my list of 1 reasons to move there.

NeedMoMoney · 03/02/2023 19:43

Yeah I've always loved the idea of moving to Florida (Granted it's through rose tinted glasses as I've only been there for holidays, so I would have no idea on what it would be like to actually live and work there) but there health insurance is a big turn off, unless your partner or yourself could garentee a job that has a great health plan I would be wary, you could both be forking out thousands of you or your child if you came down with an illness that needs lengthy treatment.
It's a pickle...

Loopyloooooo · 03/02/2023 19:44

Your other half would need to be an American citizen (you don't say they are?) and you would need to be married before you could consider it.

elp30 · 03/02/2023 19:45

Loopyloooooo · 03/02/2023 19:44

Your other half would need to be an American citizen (you don't say they are?) and you would need to be married before you could consider it.

The OP wrote that her other half's hometown is in Florida so I think he probably is an American citizen.

Parker231 · 03/02/2023 19:46

allfurcoatnoknickers · 03/02/2023 18:39

I live in the US and am married to an American and have a 3.5 year old with a thick NYC accent. I absolutely LOVE it here and have no intention of moving back to the UK. I think being worried about your child being American is weird tbh, but there is no way in the world I would move to Florida. The entire state is a total hard-right MAGA shitshow.

Just Google Ron DeSantis - he's the Governor and a pro-gum, anti-abortion, anti-gay nutjob.

Agree - Florida and Texas are two states I would never move to. Seriously crazy politicians !

Mysmallgarden · 03/02/2023 19:46

I wouldn't want my child in an American school right now. I'd prefer to stay in the UK, even as shitty as it is.

Tescoland · 03/02/2023 19:47

Sinkholes. Need I say more?

Izearle · 03/02/2023 19:48

Naunet · 03/02/2023 19:05

I wouldn’t OP, just because it means you could be stuck there for the rest of your life. If you split up, you would have to stay or potentially leave your child behind.

Plus their cheese sucks! 😄

And their chocolate is even worse! Tastes like horse manure to me!

purpleleotard2 · 03/02/2023 19:48

best to buy some body armour before you go

RoseslnTheHospital · 03/02/2023 19:50

Oysterbabe · 03/02/2023 19:31

People saying their kids haven't done drills, are you sure? Because I said the same thing and then asked them and it turns out they do. They don't tell them what it's for in primary.

I asked, specifically describing the drill, and my DS in Y6 has never done one.

MindTheAbyss · 03/02/2023 19:51

We made the move a year ago. Your baby will likely have citizenship automatically if your partner spent enough years living in the US. But you’ll need to apply for a visa to stay and that requires you to be married or engaged and to meet minimum financial criteria. You also have to stay in the US throughout the (slow) visa process. Healthcare is staggeringly expensive - even with health insurance - and, as others have said, check out Ron DeSantis…

elp30 · 03/02/2023 19:53

wordler · 03/02/2023 19:40

To answer PP's visa questions.

Assuming he is an American citizen and you are a British citizen? Are you married or planning to become married? Without that you can't get a visa easily to go and live over there. There's a spousal visa and a fiance visa. If you are not married yet, the spousal visa is a better option because you'll be able to work and travel in and out of the US as soon as you enter because you immediately get a green card (it's also slightly cheaper in terms of fees).

With the fiance visa you will have to get married within 90 days of arrival in the USA and then you apply for the greencard. This option means you won't be able to work for several months (up to 8/9 months under current waiting times), nor leave the USA without abandoning the whole process and having to start all over if you wanted to come back to the USA.

If your other half is an American citizen and has live in the USA for at least five years as a citizen, including two years after the age of 14, then your baby is automatically a US citizen too, so they don't need a visa just apply for their American passport.

Cost for your visa if you go for the spousal visa:

Initial application: $535
Entry fee: $220
Visa Medical fee: £290.00 (they make you do this at only one specified doctors office in London so you have to travel to London to get this done)
You also have to travel to London to get your visa approved so factor that into the finances.

Your husband will have to provide financial information to show he can cover your costs - for a family of three he needs to show he will be earning $28,787 in the USA. Or if you have assets like savings from the sale of a house it must come to 3x the amount above. He can use a family member as a joint sponsor if he can't meet the financial requirement.

Also, none of this is going to be quick - current waiting times to process a spousal visa are anything from 12-18 months.

Thanks for doing the research but you beat me to it and it is indeed a bit of a write up!

My particular concern for the OP is that there really needs to be a significant consideration of the strength of her relationship. If the relationship ever breaks down, the baby's father may not allow her to return to the UK with their child without his permission. It is a reality that many cross-cultural couples have to acknowledge and decide for themselves whether a big move like that would be worth it.
I know it's not something a young couple in love would imagine. I know I didn't when I moved to the UK on a fiancée visa to marry my Englishman and had our children in the UK but it was indeed in the back of my mind and should be for the OP.

TomAllenWife · 03/02/2023 19:57

I'm in Florida at the moment (on holiday)

It is extortionate!!!!! My Uber driver was saying most people work 2 or 3 jobs and you need $6k per person per month to live comfortably

In the supermarket eggs are an eye watering $19 for 18 eggs
A large pack of mince was $23

My DD is currently dating an American citizen and I would hate for them to raise their children here.
You need about $80k to send a child to college

Silverbook · 03/02/2023 20:02

Busybody2022 · 03/02/2023 18:44

School kids do drills here too.

Where in the UK do you live that schools do "lock down" drills. Not once in a career of teaching have I ever even heard of this. I've never encountered any drills other than a fire alarm.

pappajonessecretchild · 03/02/2023 20:02

Roses, I work in an SEN all age school, Herts. We do lockdown (intruder) drills as much as fire drills. We also have red fire alarms and yellow alarms (they look exactly the same as the fire ones you hit to start) and the fire lets one continuous alarm, the intruder alarm is an intermittent alarm. All the students know that one is blinds down, doors locked and under the desks. They see it as just a game. Better being prepared than no one knowing what they are doing. I suggest you ask your primary if they have a procedure in place. chances are they do something, even if its just the teachers knowing the procedure.

wordler · 03/02/2023 20:03

My particular concern for the OP is that there really needs to be a significant consideration of the strength of her relationship. If the relationship ever breaks down, the baby's father may not allow her to return to the UK with their child without his permission. It is a reality that many cross-cultural couples have to acknowledge and decide for themselves whether a big move like that would be worth it.

@elp30 this is a really good point. I'm British married to an American living in the USA (which is why the visa stuff is drilled into my brain!) And although our marriage is absolutely fine, since we had a child together I have a thing in the back of my mind too about being 'stuck' here in the USA now. Even if he'd let me take her back to the UK if we split up I wouldn't want her to grow up without easy access to her father so I'd still not be able to leave.

Of course in international marriages one spouse is going to be in that position.

OP - that reminded me of another point - what's your other half's current visa situation in the UK. If at all possible I'd get him to the point of taking UK citizenship before you leave. Because if you want to come back as a family at any point the visa stuff is even harder going the UK direction now. There's no joint financial sponsor options in the UK so you'd have to be the one earning a certain amount of money for at least six months which means some families end up being apart for months to meet the requirements.

RoseslnTheHospital · 03/02/2023 20:06

@Ariautec just checked as many of the primary schools as I can think of in my town and not a single one has a lockdown drill policy. Weird that it's a big thing in some areas and not at all in others. Maybe it's done on a per LA basis, as quick look at some primary schools in the next town along also don't have any policies on this.