Thoughts on moving from England to Florida

[Decisions2023]

Other half wants us to move from England to his home town in Florida. He has family and friends there etc and he can keep the same job. We have a 9 months of baby and the move is making me nervous. The thought of making my child American is making me nervous as it would become his home and all he knows. I'm not sure if I'm thinking rational. We are not well off and the thought of making this big decision on my childs behalf makes me anxious/nervous.

Do you think I would be putting my child at an advantage or disadvantage?

Thanks in advance.

Actually, it's the other way around. Democrats became so radically left that Republicans do seem more moderate now.

Lol pmsl absolutely NO, no it's not. There are two conservative parties in America, Democrats and the Republicans that are so far hard radical extreme right they're probably more to the right of Ghengis Khan (sp?) Biden is the most conservative President the Democrats have had.

To be fair, it depends which media you are following. If you're following liberal/leftist media then Republicans are very radical and Democrats are not progressive/leftist enough. If you're following conservative/libertarian media then Democrats are very radical in their leftist agenda and Republicans are not conservative enough.

Biden has nothing to do with conservatism both in economic and social policies. Not sure you're really following Biden's agenda.

Florida really is a dump. Even Miami which has its nicer bits of full of drugs, people getting off their faces as it’s a ‘party’ town, and really unsafe.
Never understood why people wanted to move there to retire.

What? Sorry, but this is total nonsense and you clearly don't know what you're talking about. Biden is most definitely left and much harder left than any Democrat president in recent times on almost any metric you could find.

There have been quite a lot of American posters who have been saying "anywhere but Florida".

It has been interesting reading all the comments, however I am still no clearer in my decision. My main anxiety is that my child will no longer see the UK as his home and will more than likely not have much ties here and if I would be putting him at a disadvantage making him "American" . I get the feeling of no security over there if that even makes sense. Maybe it is because the UK is my comfort zone, I don't know.

DH is an American citizen, therefore it should be straightforward for my child to live there legally, I however may need to jump through a few hoops.

Hi @poetryandwine can I ask what part of the US you lived and if you are moving back to the same state? Also how do your children feel if you have any?

It is such a huge decision, DH is adamant on moving back over there, this could be make or break for us.

Some, @DdraigGoch . I was sort of one: not quite American but with a long period of residency and not quite absolute about it. That is quite different from a knee jerk response by someone who has only been there on holiday and literally says ‘the whole state is a shithole’. Too many of these - but then, even one ignorant comment is IMO

Tell your OH to do his research and come back to you with the information because you cant say yes or no without all the correct and up to date information.
Could you move to the US, what visa will you need, how much will that cost, can you work in the US
How much will a house cost, can you afford it
Schools in Florida
And the very big one, health insurance, can you get good cover, are you planning more children, thats needs to be considered in health cover nevermind accidents, cancer etc
Once you have all that accurate info you can factor in your feelings on Florida itself in terms of weather and politics, I certainly wouldnt consider moving without visiting at different times of the year.
My OH was forever waffling about going to Canada after the 2008 crash, he lived there for 5 years but not a citizen and much as I loved to go in theory it wasnt a go for me with a 6 month old, largely because i knew full well the research, planning, organisation and logistics would land fully on me and I did not have the bandwidth for it. Needless to say he never got as far as even researching visas, you may well find you dont even have to make a decision because you may not even be able to move without jumping through lots of hoops and spending a lot of money once he actually looks at it properly.

Hi, @Decisions2023

One grown child. We all like to travel and so DH and I have only ourselves to consider.

I have lived on both coasts, in nice suburbs of major cities, and in the heart of the midwest - in the centre of a large city (which I alone in my family enjoyed) and in a charming university town. I

have always been lucky enough to have superb health care through HMOs - mini NHS hub-and-spoke employer funded organisations with the central hospital being a major university medical centre. My HMOs appeared to have plenty of clients from both Medicaid (for the poor) and Medicare (for the over 65’s who have contributed during their working life, and their spouses). These are both rationed care bur apparently Medicare is very good.

DC is a dual citizen almost st home in both countries. Prefers the American educational system but happy so far to be working in the UK. Doing very well but not a terribly competitive person

The mid Atlantic states are probably your best bet. Maryland and eastern Pennsylvania. But I’d give a hard no to Florida for the reasons that others have said. Even the lovely little Vero Beach on the east coast of the state is now overrun with drugs, rednecks, and far right politics.

@Decisions2023 tbh, given your last post about your DH being adamant about moving, and the decision potentially breaking your relationship, I would be really concerned that if you do go and then decide you don't want to stay in Florida your DH would simply refuse to move back to the UK. Which would mean you would effectively be stuck there. It wouldn't be a risk I would be prepared to take.

going a bit against the grain here I think neither of you is being unreasonable. you naturally want to stay in the uk. you see the uk as your home your friend and your family are here. it is natural for you to want your child to have a close bond to your roots etc. here is the problem. your husband feels the same way about the america. he probably would like the child to see that as home or at least equally home and have a strong bond with his family. and while yes if you move and spilt you could be stuck there for a long time is that not true for the father too if you remain here?

... or IF they break up she could move back to the UK and they figure out the logistics of having a child in two countries. She could have him for the summer holidays, spring break, winter break, etc.
Or he might not want to stay in the USA without her.
Or they might both absolutely love it, their child might thrive.

We don't know.

I was in your husbands shoes, although not the USA, and my son has thrived after we moved abroad/home. He's better, I am better, we have support that we didn't have in the UK, the list goes on.

Active shooter drills
American healthcare
Leaving your support network.

Nope. Hard no

@Blisterinthe how does/did your partner feel? Did he move with you and DS?

As expected this has descended into the level of stupidity with people posting random stereotypical things. Now Biden is a conservative lol.

Anyone coming to MN for advice on moving from the UK is really coming for people to validate their not wanting to move, MN is know to be very anti American, anti Australian etc.

O@Decisions2023 you will not be happy in the US and hate it and given this now looking like it may lead to separation then you should stay while he goes and you can figure out how to parent across countries but at least the child can remain with you in the UK and be brought up as British and all the benefits that comes with that.

Your child will probably see themselves as American although with a strong British identity too. My family is full of people who have both nationalities and some have settled in the UK while others have settled in the US.

My children love having the option to choose to live in either country. Right now, looking in from the outside the UK is not tempting. The economy is failing, the politics are disheartening, the NHS is a disaster. Brexit has made it look like a country that has totally lost its way. But hopefully things will get better. I know all of my kids are considering living in the UK at least for a while at some point - they certainly don’t feel stuck with living in the US for their whole lives.

But our life here in the US has been very good, and it is hard to leave.

When we moved I wanted to be here as much as DH did, so I didn’t worry about us splitting up and me being stuck in the US. If you aren’t sure this is where you want to be then you do need to think hard about what would happen if you wanted to return to them UK. It could be very tough.

Blah blah blah

No. And political scientists actually measure this; it's not just people's impressions from CNN. The Republican Party has, statistically, moved further right than the Democrats have moved left.

BTW if your DH is American who was born in the US then your child is also most likely also already an American citizen. I’d strongly recommend you find out more about this and get them a US passport. US citizens are not allowed to enter the US on any other passport, so even if you went there on holiday you could experience some difficulties at immigration.

My children do see themselves as more American than British. That is the likely outcome of this sort of move as you'll be an immigrant, not an expat.

If you move, you will likely be stuck. However, there's no absolutely fair solution to this problem when partners are from different countries. Either he's stuck in the UK or you're stuck in the USA. I'm not saying that means you should go, but fairness has to be struck from the equation; it's not possible.

As a member of a minority religious group, the UK is not always as hospitable and unprejudiced as people like to think. The USA is massively variable from place to place. There's parts of the country I wouldn't live in. Where I live now is very racially and religiously diverse and I love that. Most of the UK bar London couldn't compare.

I wouldn’t.
Major factors for me would be that the American education system is dropping way behind other countries. I hate the insurance system they have for health.
But the biggest one would be that you could get stuck there if things don’t work out. As things don’t sound that secure with him currently it’s not a risk I would take.

DH is an American citizen, therefore it should be straightforward for my child to live there legally, I however may need to jump through a few hoops.

If DH is not "legally married DH" then there's more than hoops to jump through - it limits your possibilities drastically.