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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rats. Should visitors be told?

87 replies

APlaceOfGreaterSafety · 03/02/2023 17:36

I’ve namechanged for this one.

I need some perspective on who is being unreasonable here, and I’m too close to this to see it clearly.

So.

Person A currently has a problem with rats in their house.
They’ve got in, they’re living in the walls, A and her DH have seen the rats on several occasions when they’ve got up in the night. This has been going on for a few weeks. Traps have been set, rats are ignoring them so far, and A is getting another rat catcher in next week.

Person A and Person B often meet up at each other’s houses, and have refreshments while there. Tea / coffee, biscuits, cakes, etc.

Person B has visited A’s house and had refreshments several times while the rats have been there. A did not mention anything about the rats to B until the end of today’s visit.

B is upset that A did not mention the rats before B’s visit, or at least before A offered B food and drink. B has a rat phobia, but B had not told A about this until today.

A thinks B is overreacting, and that there wasn’t any need to say anything as having rats in a house is nothing to be ashamed of, and also they’re dealing with the problem.

YABU = A is unreasonable, A should be telling visitors about the rats;

YANBU = B is unreasonable to expect A to have mentioned the rats.

OP posts:
OhClunge · 03/02/2023 17:41

Why are they ignoring rat infestation ? It doesn't sound habitable, I would want to know

MatildaTheCat · 03/02/2023 17:42

We’ve had rats and I was mortified. Not our fault but frankly who wants filthy vermin running around leaving excrement around their house? No way would I have invited anyone in until we’d solved the issue (which with professional help was very quickly).

Friend A was unreasonable.

ZiriForEver · 03/02/2023 17:47

Are you concerned rats spoiled the food?
Rats are bad news, but it it is possible to maintain hygiene and offer your guests safe refreshments.

As a host I'd pay attention to the food safety, but if the rats come out only sometimes at night, I don't think there is a duty to inform.

TheFretfulPorpentine · 03/02/2023 17:50

I'd warn B if she were staying overnight, but not if she just popped in for coffee.

itsabigtree · 03/02/2023 17:53

No-one would be coming into my house until the issue was sorted.

londonrach · 03/02/2023 17:53

Don't see an issue....I grow up in the country side....if I avoid ed every house in rats on their land I'd never go for a playdate.

Applesandcarrots · 03/02/2023 17:53

A is proper unreasonable.
I would not have anyone around of I had rat/mice infestation. Tbh I would also not keep them this long. They will be basically pets soon🙄
These things need to be dealt with asap.
I had mice and they didn't even make it into kitchen as far as I know, stil sanitised everything just in case.
I am not squeamish at all, but I draw line at vermin inside the house.

PriOn1 · 03/02/2023 17:54

I’ve never had rats, but have had mice. It wouldn’t cross my mind to tell visitors about them as to me it’s a bit inconvenient/unpleasant, but not hugely significant and I would throw out any potentially contaminated food.

I think person B’s phobia is highly significant here though. If person A knew about the phobia and didn’t give B the knowledge to allow B to make the choice, then it is a bit unfair.

So did A know about B’s phobia as that might affect my answer?

TheFairyCaravan · 03/02/2023 17:55

A is so unreasonable.

Christmaspyjamas · 03/02/2023 17:56

Everyone hates rats.

You shouldn't invite guests to a house with a vermin problem.

Original poster
APlaceOfGreaterSafety · 03/02/2023 17:56

@PriOn1 B had not told A about the rat phobia until after A mentioned the rats at the end of today’s visit.

OP posts:
PriOn1 · 03/02/2023 17:56

I apologise, having reread the OP. As A didn’t know about the phobia then A was not unreasonable.

Oysterbabe · 03/02/2023 17:58

You are obviously person A 😏

Dartmoorcheffy · 03/02/2023 17:58

Mice I could cope with but rats would terrify me. There's a lot of difference in the two.

TheFlis12345 · 03/02/2023 17:59

TheFretfulPorpentine · 03/02/2023 17:50

I'd warn B if she were staying overnight, but not if she just popped in for coffee.

I agree. I am pretty rodent phobic but wouldn’t expect someone who didn’t know that to tell me they had them, unless I was staying there.

BlueHeelers · 03/02/2023 17:59

We’re all within 6 feet of a rat. We just don’t see them usually as they don’t usually infest houses.

B was unreasonable. Did she see any rates? Was she offered food rats had gnawed at?

no? Of course not. Well, why would she even need to know. She managed a whole visit without knowing and without even suspecting the presence of rats.

bridgetreilly · 03/02/2023 18:00

Mice in the house are one thing, but rats? No. Go out for coffee. And get it sorted asap.

amberedover · 03/02/2023 18:00

Rats are bad news, but it it is possible to maintain hygiene and offer your guests safe refreshments.

As a host I'd pay attention to the food safety, but if the rats come out only sometimes at night, I don't think there is a duty to inform.

This ^
and this

I'd warn B if she were staying overnight, but not if she just popped in for coffee.

ArmchairAnarchist2 · 03/02/2023 18:00

I have a phobia of them. No way would my friends do that to me.

BeardieWeirdie · 03/02/2023 18:02

A is revolting for inviting anyone who isn’t the rat catcher round.

ArmchairAnarchist2 · 03/02/2023 18:03

Also everyone I'd class as a friend would 100% know I have this phobia.

youshouldnthaveasked · 03/02/2023 18:04

I would want to know before consuming food or drink from their kitchen.

DangerNoodles · 03/02/2023 18:04

Before the infestation would A be happy to drink a cup of tea in a cafe that had a rat problem? Probably not. I imagine she would aski be disgusted if she found out a cafe she had recently visited had a rat infestation which the owners knew about.

If I were A I wouldn't have anyone round until the problem was sorted, and it sounds like A needs to call in decent professionals before it gets even more out of hand.

EyesOnThePies · 03/02/2023 18:04

We assume that A makes hygienic arrangements and doesn’t leave plates, cutlery and cake lying about for rats to come in contact with. Wipes down surfaces etc.

As the rats come out at night, A didn’t know about the phobia and we assume that A is maintaining hygiene, then B is over reacting and being neurotic.

And hopefully never sits on grass anywhere, uses an outdoor picnic table, sits on a bench at a railway station or any other circumstances where rats run free.

DangerNoodles · 03/02/2023 18:05

*also, not sure what aski is supposed to mean😂

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