Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Rats. Should visitors be told?

87 replies

APlaceOfGreaterSafety · 03/02/2023 17:36

I’ve namechanged for this one.

I need some perspective on who is being unreasonable here, and I’m too close to this to see it clearly.

So.

Person A currently has a problem with rats in their house.
They’ve got in, they’re living in the walls, A and her DH have seen the rats on several occasions when they’ve got up in the night. This has been going on for a few weeks. Traps have been set, rats are ignoring them so far, and A is getting another rat catcher in next week.

Person A and Person B often meet up at each other’s houses, and have refreshments while there. Tea / coffee, biscuits, cakes, etc.

Person B has visited A’s house and had refreshments several times while the rats have been there. A did not mention anything about the rats to B until the end of today’s visit.

B is upset that A did not mention the rats before B’s visit, or at least before A offered B food and drink. B has a rat phobia, but B had not told A about this until today.

A thinks B is overreacting, and that there wasn’t any need to say anything as having rats in a house is nothing to be ashamed of, and also they’re dealing with the problem.

YABU = A is unreasonable, A should be telling visitors about the rats;

YANBU = B is unreasonable to expect A to have mentioned the rats.

OP posts:

OhClunge · 03/02/2023 17:41

Why are they ignoring rat infestation ? It doesn't sound habitable, I would want to know

MatildaTheCat · 03/02/2023 17:42

We’ve had rats and I was mortified. Not our fault but frankly who wants filthy vermin running around leaving excrement around their house? No way would I have invited anyone in until we’d solved the issue (which with professional help was very quickly).

Friend A was unreasonable.

ZiriForEver · 03/02/2023 17:47

Are you concerned rats spoiled the food?
Rats are bad news, but it it is possible to maintain hygiene and offer your guests safe refreshments.

As a host I'd pay attention to the food safety, but if the rats come out only sometimes at night, I don't think there is a duty to inform.

TheFretfulPorpentine · 03/02/2023 17:50

I'd warn B if she were staying overnight, but not if she just popped in for coffee.

itsabigtree · 03/02/2023 17:53

No-one would be coming into my house until the issue was sorted.

londonrach · 03/02/2023 17:53

Don't see an issue....I grow up in the country side....if I avoid ed every house in rats on their land I'd never go for a playdate.

Applesandcarrots · 03/02/2023 17:53

A is proper unreasonable.
I would not have anyone around of I had rat/mice infestation. Tbh I would also not keep them this long. They will be basically pets soon🙄
These things need to be dealt with asap.
I had mice and they didn't even make it into kitchen as far as I know, stil sanitised everything just in case.
I am not squeamish at all, but I draw line at vermin inside the house.

PriOn1 · 03/02/2023 17:54

I’ve never had rats, but have had mice. It wouldn’t cross my mind to tell visitors about them as to me it’s a bit inconvenient/unpleasant, but not hugely significant and I would throw out any potentially contaminated food.

I think person B’s phobia is highly significant here though. If person A knew about the phobia and didn’t give B the knowledge to allow B to make the choice, then it is a bit unfair.

So did A know about B’s phobia as that might affect my answer?

TheFairyCaravan · 03/02/2023 17:55

A is so unreasonable.

Christmaspyjamas · 03/02/2023 17:56

Everyone hates rats.

You shouldn't invite guests to a house with a vermin problem.

Original poster

APlaceOfGreaterSafety · 03/02/2023 17:56

@PriOn1 B had not told A about the rat phobia until after A mentioned the rats at the end of today’s visit.

OP posts:

PriOn1 · 03/02/2023 17:56

I apologise, having reread the OP. As A didn’t know about the phobia then A was not unreasonable.

Oysterbabe · 03/02/2023 17:58

You are obviously person A 😏

Dartmoorcheffy · 03/02/2023 17:58

Mice I could cope with but rats would terrify me. There's a lot of difference in the two.

TheFlis12345 · 03/02/2023 17:59

TheFretfulPorpentine · 03/02/2023 17:50

I'd warn B if she were staying overnight, but not if she just popped in for coffee.

I agree. I am pretty rodent phobic but wouldn’t expect someone who didn’t know that to tell me they had them, unless I was staying there.

BlueHeelers · 03/02/2023 17:59

We’re all within 6 feet of a rat. We just don’t see them usually as they don’t usually infest houses.

B was unreasonable. Did she see any rates? Was she offered food rats had gnawed at?

no? Of course not. Well, why would she even need to know. She managed a whole visit without knowing and without even suspecting the presence of rats.

bridgetreilly · 03/02/2023 18:00

Mice in the house are one thing, but rats? No. Go out for coffee. And get it sorted asap.

amberedover · 03/02/2023 18:00

Rats are bad news, but it it is possible to maintain hygiene and offer your guests safe refreshments.

As a host I'd pay attention to the food safety, but if the rats come out only sometimes at night, I don't think there is a duty to inform.

This ^
and this

I'd warn B if she were staying overnight, but not if she just popped in for coffee.

ArmchairAnarchist2 · 03/02/2023 18:00

I have a phobia of them. No way would my friends do that to me.

BeardieWeirdie · 03/02/2023 18:02

A is revolting for inviting anyone who isn’t the rat catcher round.

ArmchairAnarchist2 · 03/02/2023 18:03

Also everyone I'd class as a friend would 100% know I have this phobia.

youshouldnthaveasked · 03/02/2023 18:04

I would want to know before consuming food or drink from their kitchen.

DangerNoodles · 03/02/2023 18:04

Before the infestation would A be happy to drink a cup of tea in a cafe that had a rat problem? Probably not. I imagine she would aski be disgusted if she found out a cafe she had recently visited had a rat infestation which the owners knew about.

If I were A I wouldn't have anyone round until the problem was sorted, and it sounds like A needs to call in decent professionals before it gets even more out of hand.

EyesOnThePies · 03/02/2023 18:04

We assume that A makes hygienic arrangements and doesn’t leave plates, cutlery and cake lying about for rats to come in contact with. Wipes down surfaces etc.

As the rats come out at night, A didn’t know about the phobia and we assume that A is maintaining hygiene, then B is over reacting and being neurotic.

And hopefully never sits on grass anywhere, uses an outdoor picnic table, sits on a bench at a railway station or any other circumstances where rats run free.

DangerNoodles · 03/02/2023 18:05

*also, not sure what aski is supposed to mean😂

Flip

1 2 3 4