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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rats. Should visitors be told?

87 replies

APlaceOfGreaterSafety · 03/02/2023 17:36

I’ve namechanged for this one.

I need some perspective on who is being unreasonable here, and I’m too close to this to see it clearly.

So.

Person A currently has a problem with rats in their house.
They’ve got in, they’re living in the walls, A and her DH have seen the rats on several occasions when they’ve got up in the night. This has been going on for a few weeks. Traps have been set, rats are ignoring them so far, and A is getting another rat catcher in next week.

Person A and Person B often meet up at each other’s houses, and have refreshments while there. Tea / coffee, biscuits, cakes, etc.

Person B has visited A’s house and had refreshments several times while the rats have been there. A did not mention anything about the rats to B until the end of today’s visit.

B is upset that A did not mention the rats before B’s visit, or at least before A offered B food and drink. B has a rat phobia, but B had not told A about this until today.

A thinks B is overreacting, and that there wasn’t any need to say anything as having rats in a house is nothing to be ashamed of, and also they’re dealing with the problem.

YABU = A is unreasonable, A should be telling visitors about the rats;

YANBU = B is unreasonable to expect A to have mentioned the rats.

OP posts:
closingscore · 03/02/2023 18:41

BlueHeelers · 03/02/2023 17:59

We’re all within 6 feet of a rat. We just don’t see them usually as they don’t usually infest houses.

B was unreasonable. Did she see any rates? Was she offered food rats had gnawed at?

no? Of course not. Well, why would she even need to know. She managed a whole visit without knowing and without even suspecting the presence of rats.

I think that's just in london....

Toddlerteaplease · 03/02/2023 18:43

I have a rat phobia and would want t know so I could avoid like the plague.

hallodarknessmyoldfriend · 03/02/2023 18:43

I would not have guests over if I had rats in my house. To be fair I would get a professional in asap to deal with it.

Johnnysgirl · 03/02/2023 18:44

closingscore · 03/02/2023 18:41

I think that's just in london....

Show quote history

Of course there aren't rats within 6 feet of everyone in London.
What sort of shithole do you think it is?

Ellie56 · 03/02/2023 18:47

If I had a rat problem I wouldn't be inviting anyone round.

Grimchmas · 03/02/2023 18:49

I don't think either of you are being particularly R or U.
A didn't know about the phobia. Presumably A keeps food and drink safely away from the rats, and the rats keep themselves to themselves during the day when B has been visiting.

I'd worry about the infestation though - it sounds like a significantly sized one, so quite established and difficult to sort out. Even just one rat can do a ton of damage.

rumship · 03/02/2023 18:59

Johnnysgirl · 03/02/2023 18:44

Of course there aren't rats within 6 feet of everyone in London.
What sort of shithole do you think it is?

Show quote history

Actually research suggests in urban areas such as all cities, the distance is around 164ft (50m), due to sewers ect. But 164ft isn't as scary as 6ft 😁.

Rats are usually found around areas inhabited by humans.

Back to the OP, if they are actively trying to get rid of the rats and they have not infested the living areas and kitchen ect then I don't see the issue.

AlbertaAnnie · 03/02/2023 19:05

DangerNoodles · 03/02/2023 18:24

I'm so surprised at the amount of people who wouldn't give thier friend the option to decline an invite in these circumstances. I really hope none of you are my RL friends!

For what it's worth OP, I wouldn't judge you for having an infestation (I'm guessing you are A), these things happen, I just wouldn't fancy a cuppa! I would probably offer to lend you a cat or two until the rat catcher was available.

Yes - exactly my thoughts - I would send in my jack Russel 🤣

Yarrawonga · 03/02/2023 19:06

Thank God our house is too old for cavity walls. 😉

Our house is hundreds of years old and hasn’t got cavity walls but it doesn’t stop mice making their way up inside between the stones.

Keepyourmummysboys · 03/02/2023 19:08

I’d be horrified by rats, and I’d expect anyone to tell me. It’s not remotely normal to have rats running round your house, wtf

Greenfairydust · 03/02/2023 19:11

If you live in London, rats and mice are a common issue.

Same if you live in the countryside.

I assume the rats are not running around her plates or dancing on top of the food she serves...

Frankly you sound a bit like you are trying to shame that person.

She is trying to address it and is probably rather distressed about it so she does not need the added pressure from you.

RatSlave · 03/02/2023 19:15

"Everyone hates rats."

cough cough Grin

A needs to find out where the rats are coming in and get that blocked up it's the best way to stop them. They'll need to fill holes with wire wool as rats can squeeze through quite small spaces compared to their body.

I don't warn people who come to my house that we have rats. Admittedly they're in cages but there's 4 cages full in the house currently.

Johnnysgirl · 03/02/2023 19:20

RatSlave · 03/02/2023 19:15

"Everyone hates rats."

cough cough Grin

A needs to find out where the rats are coming in and get that blocked up it's the best way to stop them. They'll need to fill holes with wire wool as rats can squeeze through quite small spaces compared to their body.

I don't warn people who come to my house that we have rats. Admittedly they're in cages but there's 4 cages full in the house currently.

Surely pet rats are completely different from the disease carrying little shitebags that invade your home against your will?
They're barely even the same species

Vitriolinsanity · 03/02/2023 19:23

I would be seriously arsed with A.

If I were A frankly I'd struggle to live in the house, let alone invite guests.

If A had told of the vermin infestation at least B could have made an informed choice.

Vitriolinsanity · 03/02/2023 19:30

Then again my lovely friend told me her son had a tarantula in his bedroom.

We agreed to meet at a cafe so I wouldn't sit there slapping at myself imagining the fucker was on me.

Slight spider phobia.

And pet rats are entirely different to pest rats. And I've lived and worked in London for years and only seen rats in gardens, never in the (many) houses and offices I've worked in because of preventative controls.

Crazycrazylady · 03/02/2023 19:31

Honestly rats wee can be incredibly dangerous to humans. I think a) you were mental to have people around until the problem has been dealt with .
Many many people are terrified of them.

trebarwith1 · 03/02/2023 19:35

My dd has pet rats, one got out of its cage and ran across my head the other night!

Qwerty111 · 03/02/2023 19:42

I’m horrified by the vote so far.

Wondering if I should outright ask friends whether they have a rat infestation before I go in for coffee in case they’re in the 54% who wouldn’t think to mention it.

WingingItSince1973 · 03/02/2023 19:51

iklboo · 03/02/2023 18:20

Everyone hates rats.

Wild / sewer rats probably, but I love fancy (pet) ratties!

Yes we have pet rats. They are absolutely gorgeous and very sweet and clever. My friend who also has pet rats does have a problem with a wild one who managed to get into her understairs cupboard and eat it's way through a sack of potatoes, peeling them first. Clever thing. Anyway everything was binned or cleaned. They can make a terrible mess and I wouldn't want a wild rat problem in my house. I think A should have said to B so she could have the choice. It wouldn't bother me as long as I knew A was very thorough with hygiene.

x2boys · 03/02/2023 19:54

RatSlave · 03/02/2023 19:15

"Everyone hates rats."

cough cough Grin

A needs to find out where the rats are coming in and get that blocked up it's the best way to stop them. They'll need to fill holes with wire wool as rats can squeeze through quite small spaces compared to their body.

I don't warn people who come to my house that we have rats. Admittedly they're in cages but there's 4 cages full in the house currently.

We have just got rid of a rat problem fingers crossed , it's no laughing matter 🙄,it's one thing to.have caged.family Pet,s ,quite another to hear the fucker s ,scurrying in the walls and scampering under the floor boards ,not to mention being terrified of going for a wee in the night in case you encounter one ,they were like whack a mold popping uo.when you least expected it

WingingItSince1973 · 03/02/2023 19:54

On another note years ago myself and some friends were at another friends house for dinner and she didn't mention until much later that her sons snake had escaped that day!!! Now that was freaky. Though they found it under his bed eventually

user1473878824 · 03/02/2023 20:08

OhClunge · 03/02/2023 17:41

Why are they ignoring rat infestation ? It doesn't sound habitable, I would want to know

Did you actually read the post?

Nonimai · 03/02/2023 20:10

Person A should get a cat. We currently have rats in our garage. It isn’t nice- they are brave, they don’t even run away, but sit there looking at you. The cats now do night duty in the garage and eat the rats - problem solved. Person A needs urgent professional help just to stop the blighters destroying her wiring etc, and person B needs to put their big girl knickers on….

Original poster
APlaceOfGreaterSafety · 03/02/2023 20:12

Well, the voting results so far are pretty even!

I’m B.

I was extremely freaked out when I learnt about the rats, but not sure how much of that was a reasonable concern and how much of my reaction was driven by my rat phobia.

I’m also kind of freaked out that 55% of people also wouldn’t mention this. I might start preemptively announcing my rat phobia to people.
I guess based on that vote result, I should apologise to A for overreacting, but this has really put me off going round there again in the near future.

Just about a few other points.

A says the rats are getting into the house through a hole in a bathroom wall, but based on what I know about the layout and condition of the house, I think it’s probable that a rat in the cavity walls would also be able to get into the kitchen / dining area.

A usually keeps food in cupboards, but dishes and cups are kept on open shelves. So a rat that got into the kitchen would, in theory, be able to crawl around on the plates and cups.

A’s hygiene standards appear to be unchanged from their usual standard. No evidence of obsessively sanitising surfaces every morning.

And pet rats are a completely different scenario. I’d not be keen on being in a house with pet rats, but if they’re confined to cages and in another room I can deal with it.

Hopefully the new ratcatcher A has booked for next week will be more effective than the last one.

OP posts: