To not think it’s fair to get a dog

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Me and DH have wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. Both grown up with dogs and are animal lovers, and we’d really like a pet. We did our research in the pandemic when WFH was established, but never took the step towards getting a puppy.

The topic has come up again recently and DH is really eager, reasoning that it will bring happiness to our lives and encourage us to walk (which we already do!)

I have shared my reservations with him but he is more optimistic than me and thinks we can use doggy daycare, which I know will come with a large cost.

One of us is a shift worker and the other works a 9-5, hybrid role where the working location is variable. Some days are longer than this, some shorter and some work from home. No way to guarantee this more than a week in advance. It does work so that there’s almost always one person at home. We have retired ILs living locally who would help but it’s not fair to expect it of them when SIL already demands they look after her dog at the drop of a hat. I don’t think this is enough certainty for a puppy and the burden isn’t for our relatives to bear if they want to make other plans.

I know the amount of time and energy that goes into raising a dog with a good temperament and would feel very guilty leaving a dog for any longer than a couple of hours, as their humans are really their world aren’t they!

I’d love a dog and think they’re fantastic but think it’s a kinder decision to continue looking after retired ILs dog when we know we have a weekend off, or annual leave etc. We’re planning to TTC quite soon, too, so not fair for a puppy to get pushed out - even if some dogs love babies.

I might be overthinking it, but AIBU to stand on with this?

I'm not a dog owner and have interest in becoming one. My DH and kids all want a dog and we even went so far as to have an interview with a dog charity about adopting one.
We failed spectacularly and it wasn't just because of me saying I didn't want one. As she asked questions it became very apparent that DH and kids had not thought it through at all and had no idea or what being a dog owner entails
But we could easily buy a puppy from a breeder.
I think everyone who gets a dog, weither adopted or bought from a breeder should have to go the kind of process the good dog adoption charities do.

Sorry I posted this on the wrong thread somehow. Not sure how it happened

I think there are some ridiculous comments on here. If you are an active couple, and enjoy the outdoors outside of work, and understand the commitment of a dog I think it would be fine. I don't understand the 'clutching of the pearls' attitude that you have to have been interviewed, have a magic money tree so you don't need to work so be at home all the time or wait until you are retired. Having owned dogs for 35 years some things I think you could consider:

Puppy stage - this is the hardest part and the first year is when they need to the most time and training. I've always taken some time off, and used combination of holidays, home working for the first few weeks. I get up at 5/6am to train play before the start of the day, and again after work. If you can do this stage before the baby it would be best although saying that I've had a puppy when mine were 6 and 2 /12 and it was fine. (I did have another 2 dogs at that point)

Work - I have worked full time, part time, and for a few years as a childminder at home and also raised 2 kids. To do this I have always had(or built) utility rooms with a dog flap to the garden, and stair gate to the house so they have controlled home and access to the garden all the time. This means I can safely leave them, all day if necessary.

Sleep - in all honesty when I work from home, they settle and sleep in the day under my desk as they know I am working. I take them out am/pm, and usually have some garden play if I get a lunch break.

Kids - Ive never left my kids unattended so the dogs get used early to being able to settle without me, so Ive used stairgates to control, and puppy pens/cages. Whenever guests come with kids they have to stay in the utility/their part of the garden. Door open so they can see/hear. They now have free rein as kids older (and my bed if DH is away..)

Doggie day care - personally I have never used 'doggie day care'. They are a relatively new thing and I don't trust the dynamics of a large group of dogs and the effect they may have on my own. I prefer to know they are settled at home and manage their interactions with other dogs myself.

Breed - I have a very active breed. Not recommended if you don't do a sport. There are some great family breeds out there. Just do your research and ensure the breeder has done health checks.

Time - they do take time - walking, grooming, playing, training. Most benefit from physical and mental stimulation. But if you understand this, it is very rewarding the love and enjoyment they provide.

Company - I've always owned 2 or 3 dogs and love the companionship/play they offer each other. Mine are usually 4 or 5 years apart and I defo don't recommend 2 from 1 litter but just another thought for the future you could consider.

Dogs fit in with me and my life. It's what works for me, our family, my dogs. I appreciate everyone is different. I love seeing all the old videos of dogs/kids milling together.

It does make me sad seeing so many people be put off having dogs.