To buy DS a dress

[tjg0]

I'm a dad to 3 boys, their mum passed away 5 years ago so I'm bringing them up alone. The youngest is 13, he's always been different to the other boys, more quiet and sensitive, not really interested in the same things as them which I've always been fine with and have encouraged his interests.

Middle son (15) and youngest share a room which I know isn't ideal, this evening I told them to tidy their room which they (finally) did. Whilst tidying middle son found a dress which youngest admitted is his, middle laughed at him and called him names, said he'd tell people at their school etc which I did talk to him about. Youngest then threw the dress in the bin. He said he didn't want to talk about it but later came downstairs and said he does but not yet as he doesn't want his brothers listening so we agreed to talk at the weekend. I told him I'm not angry as he thought I would be, but I am shocked as it is unexpected.

I was thinking of buying him another dress and surprising him with it to show him I'm not angry etc but I'm not sure in case his brothers find out which he is worried about - I personally don't think eldest would care but middle has already shown he does.

WIBU?

Science is clear that a person of one gender can be born into a body of the wrong sex. I actually have a background of study in this area but this is neither the time or the place for continuation of the public debate about it.

Considering the OP says he monitors his phone and he's not looking at anything concerning, do you think this 13 year old boy is watching lots of porn?

What a load of bollocks.

She’s said that buying a dress or wearing a dress is fine, but to make sure he understands that wearing a dress doesn’t make you a woman and don’t let your peers/teachers tell you otherwise.

I think it’s solid advice tbh

Look out, they’ve got a background in studying junk science! Hope you didn’t pay for that 😆

The poster was indicating the inclusion of school place discussions on gender is a 'problem'. The identical mindset previously held that school place discussions on sexual preference was a 'problem'.

The poster was indicating the OP must reinforce to his child that he is a boy and will be a man whether that's what the child believes/feels or not. The identical mindset previously meant parents bullied and forced their homosexual children to live repressed / false lives.

The poster's apparent agreement that buying/wearing a dress is 'fine' is, imo, an obvious attempt at window-dressing, a pretence of accepting inclusivity, prior to unleashing her true agenda - anti-trans. and telling a parent his child's (potentially ultimate) feelings are incorrect, intolerable and are not to be considered as even a possibility.

I can see why a lot of people conflate the reaction of some of the anti-trans zealots with the homophobic brigade of the past. Fortunately, society has moved on, progressed even, and it will continue to do so despite the, often risible, efforts of the transphobes.

Fortunately, just like all other phobics, transphobes think they are clever in their 'I'm not racist/ homophobe/misogynist transphobe but ....' rhetoric when, really, it may as well have flashing neon lights and klaxons accompanying it insofar as the majority of people are concerned.

HTH.

Tell him, with words and actions, that he does not need to conform to be loved. That you love him for himself and as he really is, and that will never change.

Ask him if he would like another dress or any other clothes. If he does, let him choose what he likes and compliment him if he wears it.

Tell you other son to get with the programme.

@tjg0 firstly I'm sorry their mum passed away - it must be difficult for you and them.

I've not read all the posts but my advice would be not to buy him one and surprise him with it. By all means talk to him. If you do mutually decide to go down the route of buying something then I would involve him in this. By 13 children have a very clear taste in clothing and it's very easy to buy something that either they don't like due to texture or colour, or doesn't fit well.

It's possible that you will find that he never intends to wear it in in public. Or, if he is interested but doesn't like what you've chosen, he will be in an awkward position as he might be too polite to say no.

No. Science is clear that some people suffer from gender dysphoria - which should more accurately be called sex dysphoria - i.e. a strong feeling of discomfort in their sexed body and the belief that they should have been born the opposite sex. That is not to say that they are "born in the wrong body". It is a mental health condition. In fact, I strongly suspect that if it were possible to cast a magic spell and have a person with gender dysphoria wake up tomorrow morning in an opposite sexed body, they would still have dysphoria, because the problem is in their brain, not their body.

Gender isn't actually real. "A person of one gender" doesn't actually mean anything. No one can actually explain what the female gender or the male gender actually is, because as soon as they try, they find themselves resorting to stereotypes and looking fucking ridiculous. That's why the proponents of this nonsense prefer not to try and explain any of what they believe and simply smear non believers as bigots instead.

It's hardly surprising that someone with "a background of study in this area" would have a vested interest in it not being panned as total nonsense though.

Embracing and acceptance of an individual with a different sexuality will never, ever mean -

Safe spaces for women have to allow in biological males

Award shortlists and college scholarships for women have to allow in biological males

Sports places for women have to allow in cheating and mediocre compared to their male counterparts biological males

Total and unchallenged acceptance of TWAW absolutely will.

HTH

Apologies for that derail all. The lazy ass assumption that defending womens rights is the same as homophobia or racism irritates me a tad.

😂😂🤦‍♀️

I wouldn't even go anywhere to talk about gender. It's a dress. He may feel close to his mum as she may have worn a similar style. Just talk yo him about it first. Don't do anything yet as it may be part of his grief process.

Aw you sound like a really loving dad 💛