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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to split the cost three-ways

78 replies

CanStopWillStop · 01/02/2023 23:13

DH and I are going on holiday with a single friend. We're staying in a 2-bed apartment at £3000 and we're splitting it three ways, £1000 each. I told another friend and she was shocked and thought it should be split per room, so 1500 per room.

AIBU here? Is it not the most obvious split 3 ways? I would feel weird asking her to pay more just because she doesn't have a partner to split costs with.
For the record, i don't intend to try and change the split, just curious what others would have done in this 'throuple' situation?

OP posts:
ChiefPearlClutcher · 01/02/2023 23:14

Split accom cost per room.
Food, utilities, spends, car hire, fuel are divided pp.

GoldilockMom · 01/02/2023 23:15

I’d split it three ways.

Bit of a cheek asking a friend to contribute half of the cost.

afinishedkiss · 01/02/2023 23:17

Threeway from me.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/02/2023 23:26

I do understand the logic, and if our friend was staying with a partner we would split per room, but I was surprised at my friend's reaction, like we'd been shafted lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/02/2023 23:27

*other friend that is, the friend we're going on holiday with is obviously happy with threeways lol

OP posts:
ChellyT · 01/02/2023 23:27

Unless the room you and your DH are in has an ensuite, I would be splitting it per room too.

Notimeforaname · 01/02/2023 23:28

I've done this with my partner and my best friend. And then again with best friend amlnd his partner. Always split 3 ways.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/02/2023 23:28

ChellyT · 01/02/2023 23:27

Unless the room you and your DH are in has an ensuite, I would be splitting it per room too.

both rooms are ensuite!

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/02/2023 23:30

I think a three way split. You’re all using the rest of the house.

OnTheBoardwalk · 01/02/2023 23:34

Agree 3 way split for me. It’s the house not just the room

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/02/2023 23:35

for additional context, the friend we're going away with is reasonably well off. I think perhaps this prompted other friend to question why it's an equal split.

But I would split equally no matter personal circumstances. We also do the same with food, 3-ways, no matter who's had what (it works for us because none of us are pisstakers in that area – obviously if one of us has necked 10 cocktails we'd pay accordingly lol)

OP posts:
maddy68 · 01/02/2023 23:39

I would split it by room but all other costs (food etc 3x)

bridgetreilly · 01/02/2023 23:44

And unless you are in a polyamorous relationship I would not be using the word throuple. Actually, I wouldn’t use it anyway because it’s such an ugly word.

TheTeenageYears · 01/02/2023 23:45

I would split by room for accommodation & pp for food unless there were circumstances that meant they needed a helping hand. Hotels rarely have single rooms and generally charge the same for 1 or 2 people in a room. If you & partner went away on your own you would only need 1 bedroom & single friend still needs a bedroom if she goes on her own. Hotel or apartment doesn't really make much difference- you still need one room for one person or one room for two so cost per room. You are very likely to be subsidising friends holiday compared to booking on you own splitting the way you are.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/02/2023 23:48

TheTeenageYears · 01/02/2023 23:45

I would split by room for accommodation & pp for food unless there were circumstances that meant they needed a helping hand. Hotels rarely have single rooms and generally charge the same for 1 or 2 people in a room. If you & partner went away on your own you would only need 1 bedroom & single friend still needs a bedroom if she goes on her own. Hotel or apartment doesn't really make much difference- you still need one room for one person or one room for two so cost per room. You are very likely to be subsidising friends holiday compared to booking on you own splitting the way you are.

Yeah this is what other friend was suggesting, I hadn't considered that tbh but its a valid point.

OP posts:
Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/02/2023 23:50

bridgetreilly · 01/02/2023 23:44

And unless you are in a polyamorous relationship I would not be using the word throuple. Actually, I wouldn’t use it anyway because it’s such an ugly word.

LOL – ok Bridget, noted.

OP posts:
Changingplace · 01/02/2023 23:53

I’d split per person as you’ve suggested, why should a solo person pay more than each of you individually just because you happen to be a couple?

I think the way you’ve done it is completely fair.

Changingplace · 02/02/2023 00:03

CanStopWillStop · 01/02/2023 23:26

I do understand the logic, and if our friend was staying with a partner we would split per room, but I was surprised at my friend's reaction, like we'd been shafted lol.

Nah, asking a single person to pay double what you each individually are would be shafting your friend.

The way you’ve done it is completely fair, whether or not they’d pay per room in a hotel scenario is irrelevant too because you’re not.

JeepersCreepersWheredYaGetThosePeepers · 02/02/2023 00:05

You can't ask a single friend to pay half the cost, so she'd be paying £1,500 and you and your partner pay £750 each!

Split it equally between the three of you!

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 02/02/2023 00:07

JeepersCreepersWheredYaGetThosePeepers · 02/02/2023 00:05

You can't ask a single friend to pay half the cost, so she'd be paying £1,500 and you and your partner pay £750 each!

Split it equally between the three of you!

this is reassuring, thanks folks. just worried about "other friend" now, remind me never to go on holiday with her lol

OP posts:
maximist · 02/02/2023 00:09

just worried about "other friend" now, remind me never to go on holiday with her lol

Actually she'd be a great person to go away with, she's already said that she would pay half the accommodation cost 🤣

Particularprick · 02/02/2023 00:10

TheTeenageYears · 01/02/2023 23:45

I would split by room for accommodation & pp for food unless there were circumstances that meant they needed a helping hand. Hotels rarely have single rooms and generally charge the same for 1 or 2 people in a room. If you & partner went away on your own you would only need 1 bedroom & single friend still needs a bedroom if she goes on her own. Hotel or apartment doesn't really make much difference- you still need one room for one person or one room for two so cost per room. You are very likely to be subsidising friends holiday compared to booking on you own splitting the way you are.

Oh please. They're not staying in a hotel are they. Would hate to be your 'friend' @theteenageyears. Awful mean attitude

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 02/02/2023 00:10

hahaha very true! 50/50 all the way, hun 😉

OP posts:
Particularprick · 02/02/2023 00:11

CanStopWillStop · 01/02/2023 23:48

Yeah this is what other friend was suggesting, I hadn't considered that tbh but its a valid point.

Show quote history

It's not a valid point.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 02/02/2023 00:12

Particularprick · 02/02/2023 00:11

It's not a valid point.

Show quote history

Of course it's a valid point, hotels charge the same price whether one or two people are in it. That's the same logic my other friend is using. Just because we don't agree in principle doesn't make it invalid.

OP posts: