to split the cost three-ways

[CanStopWillStop]

DH and I are going on holiday with a single friend. We're staying in a 2-bed apartment at £3000 and we're splitting it three ways, £1000 each. I told another friend and she was shocked and thought it should be split per room, so 1500 per room.

AIBU here? Is it not the most obvious split 3 ways? I would feel weird asking her to pay more just because she doesn't have a partner to split costs with.
For the record, i don't intend to try and change the split, just curious what others would have done in this 'throuple' situation?

In all the years of going away with family and friends, regardless of space who gets what or more or less we've always split it equally between however many go never ever per room. Works fine everytime and tbh sometimes I get the big room sometimes they do etc etc so ye thats our way

But you're not in a hotel

As the single friend, I'd have expected to pay a half. If you two as a couple had more residual income than me I'd be grateful for your kind offer. I'd also appreciate that most couples would not want a third person joining them. I'm assuming you've all know each other a long time and were probably all friends before they became a couple.....unless you're a throuple in the erm 'romantic' sense then thirds would be appropriate.

My husband and I have been on lots of holidays with our single friend, and have always spilt the two room between the three of us.

Whenever my DH and I go away with my brother we always split three-ways, can't understand why you would split by rooms unless you don't like the person you're travelling with and then maybe don't travel with them....

I would split three ways. There are three of you. You are sharing a room with your husband because you want to, not because you have to.

Over the years we've often had breaks or holidays with other friends. Sometimes DH and I + 1 friend, sometimes more than one single friend.
We always split the cost equally.

Also, we've been on holiday with me, dh,dd + single friend. Those times we divided cost by 4 with us paying 3/4

Unless the couple are planning on taking it in turns to use the communal spaces I think it should be split three ways. Alternatively one of the couple could share a room with the friend and give them an equal opportunity to save money.

The communal spaces is a really good point. At a hotel, your space is just your room. But in the apartment, all three of you will be in the kitchen and the living space, so that part should obviously be divided equally. And then you all have appropriate bedroom and bathroom space, so that can be shared equally too.

It would be a valid point if you were booking a hotel, booking two individual rooms.

You are booking an apartment, and so you as a couple are taking up two thirds of the living space as well as one of the bedrooms. It could be argued that you could do a more complicated split. If there was a combined living/kitchen room, for example. Allocate £1,000 per room. You pay £1000 for the bedroom and split the living space into £333.33 for your friend and the two of you pay £666.67 between you. If there were two additional rooms then it would be half between two and half between three.

I don't think yabu in splitting it that way though - presumably you have two incomes to your friends one.

You are not shafted if you are all happy with the arrangement. We've done similar with single friends to make it affordable for them. There's a whole lot more to a good holiday than that.

We went away recently with a group of families and had this same conversation. We went per adult in the end. The house had lots of rooms with several combinations of families sharing or kids sharing with other kids. As a single person it worked out better for me than paying per family. The 5 person family of 2 adults and 3 kids got a good deal as well really both ways. We also considered splitting per person but the 5 person family would be paying a lot more than the 3 person family and 4 person family.

I say you have a conversation and do as you all agree. If you as a couple are happy paying 2/3 and her 1/3 then I see no issue.

Depends totally on circs, eg what would a 1 bed apartment have cost, she can pay the difference, prob more like the split you have. Ie what is the cost to you from taking an extra person. Don’t think 50:50 is fair TBH.

You certainly can't change it now if that is what has been agreed.

renting out an apartment does change things because all 3 of you will share communal facilities such kitchen/living rooms/balconies etc. This is unlike hotels where each set of facilities are separated by room with private use per room.

with an apartment, her 50% split would unfairly go towards you and your partner’s joint usage of shared areas. You both might share a bedroom but you’re individual people that will use the electricity, heating, appliances, lighting, plumbing etc separately. Two people will create more running costs than one person, so splitting by 3 seems fairest.

Your friend is being ridiculous - and frankly, a bit of a cow. She essentially wants you to penalise your friend for being single.

If you were a group of three friends and one wanted a room to themselves rather than sharing a twin, then yes, that’s potentially a situation way she should pay for the privilege. But a room to yourself isn’t a privilege if you’re single - it’s just normal. In the same way, you’re not losing out by sharing a room with your partner - that’s just what most couples do.

You could have booked a hotel, with everyone responsible for their own rooms. But you chose - presumably all three of you - to get an apartment instead. There must be reasons for doing that, whether it’s a cheaper option, or whether it’s for the benefits of communal space, the ability to self-cater etc. All three of you will be benefiting - so you should all pay a third of the cost.

I’m going away in a cottage with my friends and partners/kids. One friend is single no kids so we’ve split it equally between adults dividing it 7 ways despite being single/more children etc.
I would agree what you’ve done is fair.

Another vote for 3 way split

I think your way is best. Especially as you are happy to share with partner, I presume? It's one of those things where there is no 100% perfect way.
Yes, hotel rooms charge per room, but that means the single person gets a bit shafted. So I'd see it as a bit of swings and roundabouts.

When I go away with friends I tend to end up sharing and have occasionally looked longingly at the solo rooms, but there are good reasons why the solo people sleep solo and I don't really mind sharing. We could get a place with an extra room, but that would cost us all more for not much benefit. And it evens out because if I go away with family I get my own room, but don't have to pay per room.

Is your 1 year old on with you and your DH?

in

I think an apartment is different as assume the cost including cleaning, utilities and facilities like a pool. If it was a hotel you would pay by room - upgrade/downgrade to whatever you each wanted and pay per room.

If everyone is happy with a three way split, that's fine. In fact, it wouldn't matter how you and your friend paid for your holiday if everyone was in agreement.

It wouldn’t be twice the price for a two bed apartment than a one bed. So it’s not fair to go halves. Your way is the right way.

Another vote for 3-way split as you’re renting an apartment, rather than just bedrooms.