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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have called the police 3 times for this.

60 replies

Ostryga · 01/02/2023 19:37

I have a neighbour that I cannot identify where they are as we’re rows of terraces. But I hear the most awful domestic abuse, a woman screaming, a man shouting so much it scares me and I don’t get easily scared.

I’ve phoned the police for this 3 times including tonight and give them where I think it’s coming from and every time they say well they (the people in the house) seemed fine so we’ll be on our way.

I can’t describe how awful it is to listen to. But every time the police come out they seem to think I’m making it all up. I don’t know how to find where the noise is coming from, unless I call 999 and the police get here whilst it’s happening and go into my garden to see if they can find it.

OP posts:
BloomingXmas · 01/02/2023 19:40

Can you record it while it’s happening?

Flaunch · 01/02/2023 19:41

Record it.

Original poster
Ostryga · 01/02/2023 19:44

Even if I record it I don’t think it would help - it still wouldn’t show where they are. We’re all terraces gardens together and backed on together. It sounds so close though.

OP posts:
freezingpompoms · 01/02/2023 19:49

Can you ask your immediate next for neighbours if they can hear it too? Presumably it's not them.

Ponoka7 · 01/02/2023 19:51

I think that you need to walk around and see if you can track it down, while it's happening.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 01/02/2023 19:53

Are you calling 101 up to now, or is it just that they take a while to come and it's calmed down by the time they get there?

If there's something like that happening that sounds like someone is in danger (and that's what it sounds like from what you've said?) then I'd think 999 is appropriate.

MithrilCostsMore · 01/02/2023 19:53

I rang 999 when I heard domestic abuse in a neighbours house. They said it was the right thing to do.

cheapskatemum · 01/02/2023 19:59

Definitely not being unreasonable, you would feel awful if you gave up and your neighbour was killed (I'm thinking of the Tracy Chapman song on this topic)

Original poster
Ostryga · 01/02/2023 20:13

I called 999 the first 2 times and then 101 this time and they transferred me straight to 999.

I just wish they could work out where it’s from, I’ll have to just call when it’s happening and hope they can get here quickly enough to hear it and find it. It’s awful.

OP posts:
Daisymae55 · 01/02/2023 20:22

We had this with our old neighbours. All we heard was them shouting, her shoving him into walls and punching him and him begging her to stop. Police went round twice and they denied everything. My husband had spoken to him and he confirmed we were hearing correctly and she was doing it. Fortunately (for us) they moved recently.

sadly I don’t have any advice but you’re definitely NBU. It’s so scary and concerning. I hope it gets resolved somehow.

PaddyDingDong · 01/02/2023 20:34

Please just keep ringing but maybe (safely) go to where you think it's coming from whilst on the phone to 999 so they can hear it and it's then recorded on their end too. Just keep doing it every time. That poor woman.

Redglitter · 01/02/2023 20:38

Calls like that are incredibly hard to pin point (I'm a police despatcher) If you hear it again could you go out into the street & see if you can narrow down the possibilities.

Do call 999 if you hear it again. Your call will get answered quicker so will, under these circumstances, get a faster response

Original poster
Ostryga · 01/02/2023 21:02

Redglitter · 01/02/2023 20:38

Calls like that are incredibly hard to pin point (I'm a police despatcher) If you hear it again could you go out into the street & see if you can narrow down the possibilities.

Do call 999 if you hear it again. Your call will get answered quicker so will, under these circumstances, get a faster response

I have done this and I can only hear it from my back garden. I think I’m just going to have to hope I catch it early enough and call 999 and tell them to come listen. I don’t know what else to dO.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 01/02/2023 21:06

Noise is so hard to pinpoint in a residential area. Do keep reporting it. Hopefully one of your neighbours will to & that'll help. But do phone 999 speed in a case like this is vital.

Mydogatemypurse · 01/02/2023 21:10

Keep ringing, the police dont care.

BigFeelingsMoment · 01/02/2023 21:12

I have specifically been told by police to keep calling in this situation.

Original poster
Ostryga · 01/02/2023 21:12

BigFeelingsMoment · 01/02/2023 21:12

I have specifically been told by police to keep calling in this situation.

I will 100% I just want to know where to direct them.

OP posts:
figmaofmyimagination · 01/02/2023 21:14

If you can hear it from your back garden that would suggest it’s the street that back onto yours maybe? Could you have a walk round there next time?

Redglitter · 01/02/2023 21:25

Mydogatemypurse · 01/02/2023 21:10

Keep ringing, the police dont care.

How do you come up with that?? They've come out when OP has phoned but the noise has stopped. They've told her to keep calling any time she hears it - that kind of suggests they do care & would like to get to the bottom of it

Original poster
Ostryga · 01/02/2023 21:26

It’s all gardens and alleys there’s no way to walk around

I have sent a crime report to my local constabulary. No idea if it will help but I can’t not.

To have called the police 3 times for this.
OP posts:
parietal · 01/02/2023 21:37

Have a good look on google maps at the houses behind your and work out which is which. Next time you hear anything, stand on a chair in your garden (to get just above wall height) and twist your head left and right as you listen. That will help you localise the sound. Then refer back to your map for a good idea of the house number.

Original poster
Ostryga · 01/02/2023 21:37

Will this even help?

To have called the police 3 times for this.
OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 01/02/2023 21:51

Other people may well be ringing too. By coordinating where the reports are coming from, they can get closer to the source.

RedSnail · 01/02/2023 22:07

Ostryga · 01/02/2023 21:26

It’s all gardens and alleys there’s no way to walk around

I have sent a crime report to my local constabulary. No idea if it will help but I can’t not.

There must be a way to walk round, there must be a front street those houses are attached to somewhere? How would the police or postman get to the houses -walk down wherever they’d go.

Bentley123 · 01/02/2023 22:09

Sorry to be of no help but this is so sad to read. Hope you can find out where it comes from x