Page 3 | To have called the police 3 times for this.

Ostryga · 2023-02-01T19:37:56+00:00

I have a neighbour that I cannot identify where they are as we’re rows of terraces. But I hear the most awful domestic abuse, a woman screaming, a man shouting so much it scares me and I don’t get easily scared. I’ve phoned the police for this 3 times including tonight and give them where I think it’s coming from and every time they say well they (the people in the house) seemed fine so we’ll be on our way. I can’t describe how awful it is to listen to. But every time the police come out they seem to think I’m making it all up. I don’t know how to find where the noise is coming from, unless I call 999 and the police get here whilst it’s happening and go into my garden to see if they can find it.

Mydogatemypurse · 02/02/2023 09:55

hopeahead · 02/02/2023 06:56

Whilst the report is positive there are millions of women and children that aren't so lucky.
I had and still have a very heavy and detailed NMO and in the first two years there were 70 odd reports to the police of breaches only two went to court.
My childrens schools were reporting incidents to the police and my GP wrote to the court with safeguarding concerns - nothing happened. Like many others in my circumstance it's a waiting game for the abuser to get bored and move on.

Similar to my experience. I truly believe he will never get bored of it as its the only thing that makes him feel alive. I know for a fact the only way it will end is if i die either from the stress or by giving up myself, which he would love. But i wont do that for my sons.

Mydogatemypurse · 02/02/2023 09:56

BitOutOfPractice · 01/02/2023 23:02

Fingers crossed they move out eh @hopeahead ? What a horrible thing to hope.

it sounds really distressing op. Can you safely walk round to their front while it’s happening? I can’t believe no one else has reported.

good luck. You’re doing the right thing to keep calling. The police clearly think so too.

I feel strongly that others probably have reported. I was made aware only years later that many reports had come in and we werent even contacted.

hopeahead · 02/02/2023 10:35

@Mydogatemypurse it's horrible when you watch these threads and people who haven't got a clue give advise that can actually put victims in more danger.
Everyone jumped on my response when I said about being in rental and moving on. Because to watch helplessly as a by stander of women and children being abused is distressing. It impacts peoples lives and well being. Four years into my escape I remember asking a police officer when does this end, what has to happen. He responded - when he kills you. Very matter of fact. That is the ugly truth. And that was towards a man who had already been to prison for attacking me.
OP the best you can do is find out who it is (the abuser) and log their name and reports to the police so if at any point the woman does try to leave there is logged evidence to support her case in court.

NowDoYouBelieveMe · 02/02/2023 13:24

hopeahead · 02/02/2023 10:35

@Mydogatemypurse it's horrible when you watch these threads and people who haven't got a clue give advise that can actually put victims in more danger.
Everyone jumped on my response when I said about being in rental and moving on. Because to watch helplessly as a by stander of women and children being abused is distressing. It impacts peoples lives and well being. Four years into my escape I remember asking a police officer when does this end, what has to happen. He responded - when he kills you. Very matter of fact. That is the ugly truth. And that was towards a man who had already been to prison for attacking me.
OP the best you can do is find out who it is (the abuser) and log their name and reports to the police so if at any point the woman does try to leave there is logged evidence to support her case in court.

Awful that you've been a victim yourself, sorry someone out you through that.

Do you see how your advice on this thread has been contradictory? You said before that calling the police puts the victim in more danger. That OP should just wait for the abuser and his victim to move, that the neighbor is the one suffering. People called you out for that, and you defended it, saying that we (who may also have experienced DV, btw...) don't know anything about it but you do.

Now you're saying that neighbours should befriend the victim AND call the police and accuse the abuser by name, because that will help the victim in future.

Honestly I'm confused about what you're advising.

Mydogatemypurse · 02/02/2023 22:23

NowDoYouBelieveMe · 02/02/2023 13:24

Awful that you've been a victim yourself, sorry someone out you through that.

Do you see how your advice on this thread has been contradictory? You said before that calling the police puts the victim in more danger. That OP should just wait for the abuser and his victim to move, that the neighbor is the one suffering. People called you out for that, and you defended it, saying that we (who may also have experienced DV, btw...) don't know anything about it but you do.

Now you're saying that neighbours should befriend the victim AND call the police and accuse the abuser by name, because that will help the victim in future.

Honestly I'm confused about what you're advising.

Show quote history

No i never, you are quoting someone elses post.

NowDoYouBelieveMe · 02/02/2023 22:25

Mydogatemypurse · 02/02/2023 22:23

No i never, you are quoting someone elses post.

Show quote history

Yeah my post was addressed to @hopeahead 's post which I quoted but I think because you're tagged in it, it has notified you of my post.

Mydogatemypurse · 02/02/2023 22:31

Sorry... im quoting someone elses post!

NowDoYouBelieveMe · 02/02/2023 22:38

Mydogatemypurse · 02/02/2023 22:31

Sorry... im quoting someone elses post!

No worries, just crossed wires 🙂

Harriettt · 02/02/2023 22:49

Be careful about the advice people are giving to knock at neighbours houses, you don't want to be knocking on the house where this cunt lives!!! Only ask neighbours if you 100% know its not them where the noise is coming from. I feel for you OP, awful situation to be in just wanting to help but not knowing who to help 💔

007DoubleOSeven · 02/02/2023 23:11

I wonder if you call womensaid and refuge if they'll send you a pack of fliers which you could post through the doors in your neighbourhood?