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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

10 YEAR PARKING DISPUTE WITH NEIGHBOUR.

419 replies

eastafricanomad · 01/02/2023 17:23

Hi all,

I need some serious advice. I'm probably writing this in the heat of the moment so please ignore any theatrics. Let me break it down...

We've lived in this property for about 17 years. Our charming neighbour moved in on our tenth year. She is our attached neighbour on the right hand side. We all have allocated parking - what is the problem you ask?

See the thing is, we live in a cul-de-sac. Every house has an allocated parking spot and we have several visitor spots (families with multiple cars use these visitor spots as permanent parking spots and it doesn't appear to be an issue with anyone including me). My neighbour, has an allocated parking spot at the back of her house, but due to her mobility issues - she parks in front of her house on a public highway - again, no issues with this.

There is still space for another vehicle to be able to park directly parallel to her with no issues of blocking her car or her house. Yet she has proceeded to block off this empty potential parking space because she doesn't want anyone 'parking in front of her house' - bear in mind, this is a public highway. No one can reserve rights to a public highway.

Living in a cul-de-sac, naturally parking is tight despite the allocated spots we have. Households do sometimes have more than one vehicle and everyone else on the street is incredibly understanding.

However, this woman, has proceeded to put CONES! In an empty slot on the public highway, not reserving it for any reason as she has one car. No daily visitors - her sole reason is 'I don't want anyone parking in front of my house' (???) ITS A PUBLIC HIGHwaaaaay. Anyway.

Now that we are adding a vehicle to our household, this has only really started to irritate me now. We've ignored her a long time, DESPITE her harassing anyone that parks there. She has harassed my family, construction workers, delivery drivers - you name it! I'm at my wits ends. The straw that broke the camels back was this week, when we had a lovely gentleman come out from Hillary's to do measurements for my blinds. She left a note on his car and yelled at him when he left my property.

I've spoken to the local council, they have confirmed - no one can reserve rights to a public highway. I've spoken to the police, they have confirmed - this is illegal. I've sought legal advice, again - confirmed my perspective.

What on earth do I do with these cones? We work 7 days a week in my household, and coming home after a long shift, moving cones to park my car is proving tiresome! It's not even the inconvenience, its the AUDACITY!

Am I being unreasonable? What would you suggest? What would you do with these cones? I want to put them in my boot and dump them 500 miles from my house. Any advice on this issue would be helpful.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Rosscameasdoody · 02/02/2023 21:33

eastafricanomad · 02/02/2023 21:06

@Rosscameasdoody And this was my initial thoughts. I do really understand mental illness and sympathise dearly with anyone who suffers from it. However, where do we draw the line? If its support she needs, we could of been the best of friends! I have a great rapport with all my neighbours and always offer food, treats and gifts around festive seasons. I just can't justify her behaviour anymore...

It’s really sad isn’t it ? If you have an understanding and empathy for mental illness, you, and probably your other neighbours could have rallied round if she was having difficulty, but what can you do if someone refuses to be helped ?

Merrymouse · 02/02/2023 21:34

If they have local council signs on them I would return them to your nearest council office.

celticprincess · 02/02/2023 21:47

There’s a woman near by child’s school who is like this. The back of her house/street has a small parking bay for about 5 cars. It’s a public highway type parking area. There are several of these around the streets by the school. They are obviously meant for the houses but aren’t allocated and no signage to suggest and no permits etc. I once parked there. The spaces are unmarked. I didn’t quite park at the end. This woman came back and parked her car so close to my drivers side that I had to climb through from passenger side to get in. It was deliberate. There were several spaces left so she wasn’t left unable to park but I’m guessing she likes this spot specifically at her back gate. As I was looking at the car and talking to another parent passing how ridiculous this parking was the woman was watching me out of her top bedroom window. She had obviously waited for me getting back. She started shouting abuse at me and sticking fingers up. I shouted back it’s a public highway and I’m entitled. I then emailed the school. The reason being is that we often get an email about parking considerately near the school as parents often block drive ways and neighbours complain. TBH I’ve never seen driveways blocked - mainly as there are no driveways on the roads!! They are all back gardens with gates out onto a path then the small parking areas. I’m guessing f this woman just constantly complains to the school when she doesn’t get her spot. I emailed the school and explained before we got another school reminder about inconsiderate parking.

Nsky62 · 02/02/2023 21:59

Write to the council, don’t phone

dawngreen · 02/02/2023 22:00

You say she has mobility issues is she a wheelchair user?

Whatafliberty · 02/02/2023 22:02

Take the cones to tip tip.

GillianCarole · 02/02/2023 22:13

That's outrageous - so the council won't deal with this woman, and charge you to speak to them? Your council tax pays their wages! Your neighbour is a bully, I have similar problems with neighbours, who constantly park across my drive - not enough to block me in or out, but if I did the same to them they would throw a tantrum.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/02/2023 22:14

dawngreen · 02/02/2023 22:00

You say she has mobility issues is she a wheelchair user?

Doesn’t sound like it - she’s moving cones around, leaving notes on cars and is frequently out harassing people. Why, is that important ?

gonnabeok · 02/02/2023 22:25

Get the police to move them. They're obstructing a public highway.

Solmum1964 · 02/02/2023 22:28

eastafricanomad · 01/02/2023 17:46

@Nightynightnight Can I be accused of theft if I remove objects obstructing a public highway? Grey area... I would consider it an act of service.

Could you use the fix my street app and report them as being fly tipped? This sends a report to your local council and they seem to act on it.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 02/02/2023 22:32

The only thing you can do is keep removing her cones. But why doesn’t she park in front of her house? Or she wants 2 spaces?

Toomuchtrouble4me · 02/02/2023 22:34

Summerfun54321 · 01/02/2023 21:49

Write a fake letter from the council saying she is being taken to court for impersonating council traffic management systems and obstructing fair and proper use of the highway. Make it look official and make sure no one can trace it back to you.

I LOVE THIS! 🤣🤣🤣

WestBridgewater · 02/02/2023 22:36

GillianCarole · 02/02/2023 22:13

That's outrageous - so the council won't deal with this woman, and charge you to speak to them? Your council tax pays their wages! Your neighbour is a bully, I have similar problems with neighbours, who constantly park across my drive - not enough to block me in or out, but if I did the same to them they would throw a tantrum.

Whatever you do don’t say I Pay Your Wages, public sector workers pay council tax too and generally the person you’re speaking to is more than aware as you won’t be the first person to have used this highly unoriginal statement. I would get the email address for your local neighbourhood policing team and ask if they can send a PCSO to have a chat with your neighbour about the cones.

ButterCrackers · 02/02/2023 22:49

Just move the cones and park there. If she has a problem about that she can call the police.

Eleganz · 02/02/2023 23:01

Is there a time where you can park a vehicle and leave it there for a few days?

LorW · 02/02/2023 23:02

Nothing to add OP just want to praise for the great diagram 😁

JJWT · 02/02/2023 23:31

Keep confiscating the cones and selling them on ebay until you have enough for the blinds... ? !

Mamanyt · 03/02/2023 00:02

Make an official complaint, and report her EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. she does this.

SplashCity · 03/02/2023 00:03

You could always say that the council took them as they were officially their property. Well, you did say they had their (false) stickers on them didn't you?

wellstopdoingitthen · 03/02/2023 00:11

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 01/02/2023 17:50

My suggestion. Get someone local to do your blinds. In my experience that will give you enough money left over from your Hillary's quote to hire a skip. Put the skip outside your neighbours house and fill it with cones.

😂😂😂

Wiltinglettuce · 03/02/2023 00:31

If you don’t feel like you can remove the cones please just stick googly eyes on each one!

CatA27 · 03/02/2023 00:55

celticprincess · 02/02/2023 21:47

There’s a woman near by child’s school who is like this. The back of her house/street has a small parking bay for about 5 cars. It’s a public highway type parking area. There are several of these around the streets by the school. They are obviously meant for the houses but aren’t allocated and no signage to suggest and no permits etc. I once parked there. The spaces are unmarked. I didn’t quite park at the end. This woman came back and parked her car so close to my drivers side that I had to climb through from passenger side to get in. It was deliberate. There were several spaces left so she wasn’t left unable to park but I’m guessing she likes this spot specifically at her back gate. As I was looking at the car and talking to another parent passing how ridiculous this parking was the woman was watching me out of her top bedroom window. She had obviously waited for me getting back. She started shouting abuse at me and sticking fingers up. I shouted back it’s a public highway and I’m entitled. I then emailed the school. The reason being is that we often get an email about parking considerately near the school as parents often block drive ways and neighbours complain. TBH I’ve never seen driveways blocked - mainly as there are no driveways on the roads!! They are all back gardens with gates out onto a path then the small parking areas. I’m guessing f this woman just constantly complains to the school when she doesn’t get her spot. I emailed the school and explained before we got another school reminder about inconsiderate parking.

Are you sure it's public parking? My house is like this, back garden, gate and then a road that runs across the back of the 8 houses and our parking spaces at the back. We own these spaces, bought them with our house, no signs up as it's only us house owners who would go down there and they arent fences off as that would be a pain opening gates to get in or out. I'd be mightily peed off if someone parked in my space, as I would if someone parked on my drive if I had one 😱 This case where someone just doesn't want people parking outside their house is totally different, parking in someone's obvious (you said: They are obviously meant for the houses) parking space is really not on.

Unhingedness · 03/02/2023 06:48

I’d keep moving the cones and I’d ask your neighbour what her issue is with people parking in front of her house. Does she worry that they’ll damage something? Does it make her nervous for some reason - burglars, no room for an ambulance, triggering memory? Show that you’re aware that people parking in front of her house upsets her and that you’re trying to understand her viewpoint but nevertheless, move the cones and park your car because she has no right to stop you!

threatmatrix · 03/02/2023 09:12

eastafricanomad · 01/02/2023 17:23

Hi all,

I need some serious advice. I'm probably writing this in the heat of the moment so please ignore any theatrics. Let me break it down...

We've lived in this property for about 17 years. Our charming neighbour moved in on our tenth year. She is our attached neighbour on the right hand side. We all have allocated parking - what is the problem you ask?

See the thing is, we live in a cul-de-sac. Every house has an allocated parking spot and we have several visitor spots (families with multiple cars use these visitor spots as permanent parking spots and it doesn't appear to be an issue with anyone including me). My neighbour, has an allocated parking spot at the back of her house, but due to her mobility issues - she parks in front of her house on a public highway - again, no issues with this.

There is still space for another vehicle to be able to park directly parallel to her with no issues of blocking her car or her house. Yet she has proceeded to block off this empty potential parking space because she doesn't want anyone 'parking in front of her house' - bear in mind, this is a public highway. No one can reserve rights to a public highway.

Living in a cul-de-sac, naturally parking is tight despite the allocated spots we have. Households do sometimes have more than one vehicle and everyone else on the street is incredibly understanding.

However, this woman, has proceeded to put CONES! In an empty slot on the public highway, not reserving it for any reason as she has one car. No daily visitors - her sole reason is 'I don't want anyone parking in front of my house' (???) ITS A PUBLIC HIGHwaaaaay. Anyway.

Now that we are adding a vehicle to our household, this has only really started to irritate me now. We've ignored her a long time, DESPITE her harassing anyone that parks there. She has harassed my family, construction workers, delivery drivers - you name it! I'm at my wits ends. The straw that broke the camels back was this week, when we had a lovely gentleman come out from Hillary's to do measurements for my blinds. She left a note on his car and yelled at him when he left my property.

I've spoken to the local council, they have confirmed - no one can reserve rights to a public highway. I've spoken to the police, they have confirmed - this is illegal. I've sought legal advice, again - confirmed my perspective.

What on earth do I do with these cones? We work 7 days a week in my household, and coming home after a long shift, moving cones to park my car is proving tiresome! It's not even the inconvenience, its the AUDACITY!

Am I being unreasonable? What would you suggest? What would you do with these cones? I want to put them in my boot and dump them 500 miles from my house. Any advice on this issue would be helpful.

I would be throwing those cones away.

maeveiscurious · 03/02/2023 10:05

Unhingedness · 03/02/2023 06:48

I’d keep moving the cones and I’d ask your neighbour what her issue is with people parking in front of her house. Does she worry that they’ll damage something? Does it make her nervous for some reason - burglars, no room for an ambulance, triggering memory? Show that you’re aware that people parking in front of her house upsets her and that you’re trying to understand her viewpoint but nevertheless, move the cones and park your car because she has no right to stop you!

I wound remove the cones and put in her property.

I would not engage with her as it will get nasty

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