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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

10 YEAR PARKING DISPUTE WITH NEIGHBOUR.

419 replies

eastafricanomad · 01/02/2023 17:23

Hi all,

I need some serious advice. I'm probably writing this in the heat of the moment so please ignore any theatrics. Let me break it down...

We've lived in this property for about 17 years. Our charming neighbour moved in on our tenth year. She is our attached neighbour on the right hand side. We all have allocated parking - what is the problem you ask?

See the thing is, we live in a cul-de-sac. Every house has an allocated parking spot and we have several visitor spots (families with multiple cars use these visitor spots as permanent parking spots and it doesn't appear to be an issue with anyone including me). My neighbour, has an allocated parking spot at the back of her house, but due to her mobility issues - she parks in front of her house on a public highway - again, no issues with this.

There is still space for another vehicle to be able to park directly parallel to her with no issues of blocking her car or her house. Yet she has proceeded to block off this empty potential parking space because she doesn't want anyone 'parking in front of her house' - bear in mind, this is a public highway. No one can reserve rights to a public highway.

Living in a cul-de-sac, naturally parking is tight despite the allocated spots we have. Households do sometimes have more than one vehicle and everyone else on the street is incredibly understanding.

However, this woman, has proceeded to put CONES! In an empty slot on the public highway, not reserving it for any reason as she has one car. No daily visitors - her sole reason is 'I don't want anyone parking in front of my house' (???) ITS A PUBLIC HIGHwaaaaay. Anyway.

Now that we are adding a vehicle to our household, this has only really started to irritate me now. We've ignored her a long time, DESPITE her harassing anyone that parks there. She has harassed my family, construction workers, delivery drivers - you name it! I'm at my wits ends. The straw that broke the camels back was this week, when we had a lovely gentleman come out from Hillary's to do measurements for my blinds. She left a note on his car and yelled at him when he left my property.

I've spoken to the local council, they have confirmed - no one can reserve rights to a public highway. I've spoken to the police, they have confirmed - this is illegal. I've sought legal advice, again - confirmed my perspective.

What on earth do I do with these cones? We work 7 days a week in my household, and coming home after a long shift, moving cones to park my car is proving tiresome! It's not even the inconvenience, its the AUDACITY!

Am I being unreasonable? What would you suggest? What would you do with these cones? I want to put them in my boot and dump them 500 miles from my house. Any advice on this issue would be helpful.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
soboredtonight · 02/02/2023 19:20

I'd go with parking in the space at every possible opportunity. I'd also take the cones at every opportunity. I mean they are council cones aren't they?

It's just a battle of wills. You could get your own cones and come off the space she's claiming. Then park in the other space she puts the cones in.

LeilaRose777 · 02/02/2023 19:34

I wouldn't take her cones, that's theft. I would move them and park. Point out to her that by putting them there she is obstructing a public road, which is probably an offense and that you will be reporting it to the council. Keep it civil. Don't let your frustratioin get the better of you. And park there every day you can. Eventually she will give up.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/02/2023 19:34

linsey2581 · 02/02/2023 19:17

@Rosscameasdoody My son (20yr old) has the higher rate of mobility on PIP and we have a mobility car. He is very able bodied and can stand and walk more than 20meters. The reason he qualifies is that because of his autism and epilepsy. It’s not always about actually being mobile.

Yes, that’s what I was saying. I was trying to make the point to a previous poster that the disability doesn’t have to be physical - it can be for mental health problems, learning disability, epilepsy and autism, as in your own experience, or a combination of problems. I hate that some people still don’t get that just because they can’t see the problem doesn’t mean it’s not there. Sorry if I was unclear.

Wiluli · 02/02/2023 19:40

I would steal the cones repeatedly until she got tired of having new ones

Rosscameasdoody · 02/02/2023 19:41

Rosie22xx · 02/02/2023 18:03

Can't her car get towed if parked incorrectly? Just a thought...

Illegal to tow or clamp a motability vehicle or a car displaying a blue badge.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/02/2023 19:48

Thinking about this logically, if there is a mental health problem here, it could be causing her severe anxiety about not being able to park her car if she’s having problems with her own allocated space. It does sound a bit out of control, and if that’s the case it might be quite difficult to solve. If she already has her own allocated space, unless she can demonstrate that it’s too difficult for her to manage, the council won’t mark out a disabled space on a public highway. Even if they did, it wouldn’t be exclusively for her - anyone with a valid blue badge could use it. Which could potentially cause more problems - angry exchanges with other motorists, more cone wars. Don’t really know what the answer is to be honest.

Magnoliasunrise · 02/02/2023 19:56

Put the cones on her car

azlazee1 · 02/02/2023 19:57

I would remove the cones, dispose of them and then let her know I took them and why. She is not above the law no matter what she thinks.

LakieLady · 02/02/2023 20:06

You can also get PIP mobility awarded for a combination of physical and mental health conditions.

You can but just getting the mobility component doesn't cut it for a Blue Badge.

You have to get at least 8 points on the "moving around" descriptor to qualify for a Blue Badge, or 10 on the "planning and following journeys" descriptor. Weirdly, if you get 12 points on the latter, because you can't move at all, you don't qualify.

SolarEcrisp · 02/02/2023 20:25

LakieLady · 02/02/2023 20:06

You can also get PIP mobility awarded for a combination of physical and mental health conditions.

You can but just getting the mobility component doesn't cut it for a Blue Badge.

You have to get at least 8 points on the "moving around" descriptor to qualify for a Blue Badge, or 10 on the "planning and following journeys" descriptor. Weirdly, if you get 12 points on the latter, because you can't move at all, you don't qualify.

This isn’t true. I have a blue badge and no points on the moving around section of PIP. It is up to local authorities’ discretion.

BooksAndHooks · 02/02/2023 20:43

LakieLady · 02/02/2023 20:06

You can also get PIP mobility awarded for a combination of physical and mental health conditions.

You can but just getting the mobility component doesn't cut it for a Blue Badge.

You have to get at least 8 points on the "moving around" descriptor to qualify for a Blue Badge, or 10 on the "planning and following journeys" descriptor. Weirdly, if you get 12 points on the latter, because you can't move at all, you don't qualify.

This isn’t quite right. The criteria you mention is to qualify automatically for a blue badge. If you don’t qualify automatically you can apply for an assessment under hidden disabilities and the council make a decision.

MamaSharkDooDooDooDooDooDooo · 02/02/2023 20:43

If your MP is in the Green Party that means you're local to me...
I'm very happy to don a hi-viz, look official and come and assess the situation 😉
We had a neighbour like this - he would block off the space outside his house with his wheelie bins so I 'kindly' placed them back on his property every time I drove past. He was awful. He would damage cars that parked there and he even covered one in paint. So, I'm all for coming over to help you! I cannot stand entitled bullies!

Rosscameasdoody · 02/02/2023 20:53

LakieLady · 02/02/2023 20:06

You can also get PIP mobility awarded for a combination of physical and mental health conditions.

You can but just getting the mobility component doesn't cut it for a Blue Badge.

You have to get at least 8 points on the "moving around" descriptor to qualify for a Blue Badge, or 10 on the "planning and following journeys" descriptor. Weirdly, if you get 12 points on the latter, because you can't move at all, you don't qualify.

I realise that - I wasn’t referring to the blue badge, but the qualification for a motability vehicle.

You don’t actually have to have an award of PIP or DLA at all to qualify for a blue badge - many people who have a blue badge don’t qualify for either benefit and in those cases eligibility for a blue badge is confirmed by the local authority by contacting your GP or other healthcare professional to make sure you meet minimum eligibility.

I think you’re confusing this with automatic entitlement for a blue badge. This is where the disabled person qualifies for a blue badge automatically by way of a PIP/DLA mobility award, without the LA having to confirm their condition with a healthcare professional. The person has to have at least 8 points (qualifying for standard rate mobility component) from the moving around section. It doesn’t matter how many points you score on planning and following journeys - unless you have 8 points for moving around difficulties you don’t automatically qualify. Not sure what you mean in the last part about not qualifying because you can’t move at all. 12 points on the planning and following journeys descriptor has nothing to do with moving around, and 12 points on the moving around descriptor would qualify you.

Tilllly · 02/02/2023 21:00

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 02/02/2023 19:09

10/10 for diagram

Don't put the cones in her garden, she'll just use them the next day.

Best to keep removing them to a safe place instead. Ie the bin

Or leave them in situ...
But wire them to the mains 😈

Vitriolinsanity · 02/02/2023 21:02

Melt them with fire.

Original poster
eastafricanomad · 02/02/2023 21:03

@CrescentMoons Omg, message me! I would make you the BEST Somali tea you have ever had in your life.

OP posts:
Rebel2023 · 02/02/2023 21:06

Wibblewibble1 · 01/02/2023 18:28

Buy a cheap, rusty car, tax and insure it. Then remove the cones, park it in the space and leave it to rot away.
it won’t settle the dispute but it will make you laugh every day

I'll send my neighbours car
It's not moved for 4 years and is growing moss. Other neighbour used to occasionally power wash it but stopped as bits started falling off jt...

My delivery instructions for parcels include "next to the mouldy car"
Nobody ever gets lose Grin

Original poster
eastafricanomad · 02/02/2023 21:06

@Rosscameasdoody And this was my initial thoughts. I do really understand mental illness and sympathise dearly with anyone who suffers from it. However, where do we draw the line? If its support she needs, we could of been the best of friends! I have a great rapport with all my neighbours and always offer food, treats and gifts around festive seasons. I just can't justify her behaviour anymore...

OP posts:
Rebel2023 · 02/02/2023 21:08

Oh and I used a local company for blinds
4 blinds (day and night ones) were less than £350

Original poster
eastafricanomad · 02/02/2023 21:09

@LoisLane66 I wrote this post sat on my roof facing the North Pole. Of course I'm inside my house.

OP posts:
gardenflowergirl · 02/02/2023 21:12

Put the cones in your car boot. Drive miles away and donate them somewhere else.

T1Dmama · 02/02/2023 21:13

Ask politely if you can use the space behind her house that she never uses.
If she says no get the council to send her a letter saying it’s illegal and keep reporting it. And just park there… if she leaves notes and shouts at you report her to the police for verbal abuse or whatever.
I hate people putting claim to the road outside their house like this.
People we used to live opposite ALWAYS complained about my brother and his mates parking outside our house because it was ‘opposite’ theirs…. People like this just wind others up and actually as teenagers we just parked there even more just to wind them up… even when there was space on the drive 😂

Original poster
eastafricanomad · 02/02/2023 21:15

@MamaSharkDooDooDooDooDooDooo You are always welcome here! I'll make you the best cup of tea you've ever had! I'll throw in a biscuit if you can make it within 3-4 working days.

OP posts:
Original poster
eastafricanomad · 02/02/2023 21:17

@linsey2581 I agree with you. I don't want this to become an issue with her being disabled, I think we alllllllll should sympathise with that. Its the behaviour I am struggling to justify.

OP posts:
Funfamilytimes · 02/02/2023 21:29

eastafricanomad · 01/02/2023 17:46

@Nightynightnight Can I be accused of theft if I remove objects obstructing a public highway? Grey area... I would consider it an act of service.

Hi.. it’s not a grey area… that’s theft. Especially if you’re reporting to police DO NOT engage and lower yourself. Ask for the local PCSO to go round. But I will say… parking disputes tend to be civil tbh so you’d have to spin it or milk the fact she’s harassing people.
If you steal/damage/move cones or whatever no matter how ridiculous it is… it gives her ammo against you.