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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to assume that parents are legally entitled to time off today?

110 replies

needabreak5 · 01/02/2023 15:15

this has been questioned by DH's employer. DS (6) class is closed today due to the strikes. We have no other means of childcare (no family and no paid childcare available). I had meetings this morning that I couldn't really miss but took this afternoon off so DH can work. DH took this morning off (used up accrued TOIL) to cover my meetings, and has been by his employer questioned why he wasn't in the office as they are too busy for time off at the minute - time off wasn't approved in advance. Time off is submitted via a timesheet and has been 'pending approval' for a week. I think regardless that it wasn't officially approved, he had a legal right to the morning off as time off for dependant with no other option. AIBU?

OP posts:
Dogsandchocolaterule · 01/02/2023 18:07

Consider there are three other strike days that are coming up, so make sure you have plans for those ones.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 18:08

Thatshipsailed · 01/02/2023 18:06

I assume they'd argue that you'd had plenty of time to make other arrangements eg pay for childcare

my work occasionally use this line.

What is this miracle childcare you can pay for it you have advance knowledge?

There are no day clubs open on a random Wednesday? You can’t hire a childminder for the day? It’s just not an option.

To be fair, it is an option in many areas - there is emergency paid childcare - nannys and sitters. But it's expensive and it does depend on your location.

Temporaryanonymity · 01/02/2023 18:08

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 16:52

You can only take parental leave in blocks of at least a week.

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You take a day as parental leave, but it counts as a week.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 18:09

Temporaryanonymity · 01/02/2023 18:08

You take a day as parental leave, but it counts as a week.

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I don't know any workplace that would allow that, tbh.

It also needs to be booked and agreed in advance - and f a workplace aren't agreeing to annual leave or TOIL, they're not going to agree to parental leave either.

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 01/02/2023 18:12

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 18:08

To be fair, it is an option in many areas - there is emergency paid childcare - nannys and sitters. But it's expensive and it does depend on your location.

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Also there's going to be much higher demand on strike days than normal, for obvious reasons.

NewFriday · 01/02/2023 18:15

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 01/02/2023 18:12

Also there's going to be much higher demand on strike days than normal, for obvious reasons.

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Lots of places round here put on extra childcare today. E.g. drama and dance schools opened all day and before and after school clubs too.

randomsabreuse · 01/02/2023 18:16

Sitters and Childcare.co.uk.are very location dependent. Useful around London, not useful at all in the bits of Shropshire and Devon I lived in.

Think Cambridge is ok ish...

Purplecatshopaholic · 01/02/2023 18:21

Some of my team took annual leave. They were not entitled any emergency special leave as it was a known-about event, ie not an emergency. If they didn’t have annual leave they would have had to take it unpaid.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 18:22

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 01/02/2023 18:12

Also there's going to be much higher demand on strike days than normal, for obvious reasons.

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Oh absolutely, but we don't know that's the case for OP as she never investigated any paid options.

randomsabreuse · 01/02/2023 18:25

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 18:22

Oh absolutely, but we don't know that's the case for OP as she never investigated any paid options.

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But she's probably aware of paid options in her area in general, from school holidays and finding childcare in the past... No point doing an unnecessary search.

I'd have thought that half a day each was a fair compromise given the likely lack of options!

Badbudgeter · 01/02/2023 18:31

I love this parents should have a plan B. In an ideal world yes but many of us don’t live in an ideal world with helpful grandparents and affordable childcare.

I think you did the right thing to share the load between you. I think employers will push back at this stage as it sets the tone going forward. We’ve had three strike days so far and I’ve taken them as unpaid leave. Employer not happy but is taking an it can’t be helped attitude.

HitTheRoadJackAndDontYouComeBack · 01/02/2023 18:34

Hubblebubble · 01/02/2023 16:44

Unpaid parental leave is a legal right. It can be used for literally any reason, it doesn't have to be an emergency.

Yes but it has to be used in certain blocks of time, at a time agreed in advance with the employer.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 18:44

randomsabreuse · 01/02/2023 18:25

But she's probably aware of paid options in her area in general, from school holidays and finding childcare in the past... No point doing an unnecessary search.

I'd have thought that half a day each was a fair compromise given the likely lack of options!

Show quote history

Regular holiday childcare/after school care isn't the same as emergency care though. You'd need to look in totally different places for that.

Original poster
needabreak5 · 01/02/2023 18:45

How long does it normally take to get approval? Did he attempt to chase up the approval? Or is it so rarely declined that it was reasonable to assume it would be approved?

it’s usually approved in a week or two. there was no reason to think it wouldn’t be as he did state ‘childcare cover due to strikes’ in the reason, it’s the first time he’s asked for ‘planned leave’ when they’ve been this busy though. Usually it’s well in advance (or very last minute and approved as a one off true emergency (DS is unwell / in hospital, for example).

OP posts:
Babooshka1990 · 01/02/2023 18:46

No it’s not a ‘legal right’. What law were you thinking of?

Original poster
needabreak5 · 01/02/2023 18:53

I have looked at ‘childcare.co.uk’ before. It’s basically all childminders and nannies with limited availability on specific days and times. The ones in my area don’t seem to offer ad hoc cover as are already full with kids. My work also offer a ‘bubble’ childcare app but there are no sitters signed up in my area. I think we’re just a bit too far from London/smallish town. For evening sitters or weekend emergencies, some of the staff at DS2’s old nursery babysit ad hoc so we’ve used them before, but they work during the day in the nursery.

OP posts:
HandScreen · 01/02/2023 18:59

needabreak5 · 01/02/2023 15:25

thats what annoying, I know the strikes were foreseen, but he submitted the request last week as soon as the school announced that DS's class would be closed. I don't think we had any alternative to the arrangement we made today, so it was emergency dependant leave if the time off couldn't be approved?

You could have booked childcare/a babysitter

Original poster
needabreak5 · 01/02/2023 19:00

Viviennemary · 01/02/2023 17:09

No. He should have taken annual leave. Or made the time up. It's not emergency leave.

But if the leave wasn’t approved then what?

OP posts:
HandScreen · 01/02/2023 19:00

needabreak5 · 01/02/2023 16:35

Thanks for the replies - to clarify DS is age 6 (not Y6), so cant really be left alone. We also have a DC age 4 but nursery was open.

Out of interest, what do you do when DS is ill / you have meetings you can't cancel?

Again we would juggle between us depending on whose work commitments we think are more time critical / or a hassle to cancel on that given day. If i dont have meetings, my employer can be a bit flexible and i can make up hours evenings and weekends when DH is back from work (he is unable to WFH except extreme circumstances).
Today we have both been very busy unfortunately, so a bit of a clash. My meetings were in person and weren't easy to cancel. DH's leave wasn't actually refused it was in the system pending approval so i just went ahead to work and was for the afternoon.

I'm not sure what 'paid childcare' we could have organised today? We usually use school, wraparound and holiday clubs.

Sitters.co.uk. Are you normally this helpless?

lieselotte · 01/02/2023 19:00

Dogsandchocolaterule · 01/02/2023 18:07

Consider there are three other strike days that are coming up, so make sure you have plans for those ones.

Yes, try to make sure you don't have in person meetings that day, or arrange to have those days off.

I have to laugh at the people who say you could have found childcare, Not sure how. Yes you could use something like Sitters but would all those MNers really leave their child with someone they don't know? Though if older kids were off as well, putting out a post on FB to ask if someone's teen could watch your child while you work in the house might work. But you said your meetings were in-person. Ad hoc childcare is really difficult to find (and no, we don't all have school gate mummy friends who will take our child at short notice).

lieselotte · 01/02/2023 19:01

Sitters.co.uk. Are you normally this helpless

How rude. It is not easy at all to find ad hoc childcare.

Original poster
needabreak5 · 01/02/2023 19:01

You could have booked childcare/a babysitter

I just don’t know how people manage to find this random ad hoc childcare so easily

OP posts:
HandScreen · 01/02/2023 19:03

needabreak5 · 01/02/2023 19:01

You could have booked childcare/a babysitter

I just don’t know how people manage to find this random ad hoc childcare so easily

Did you try sitters.co.uk?

Blanketpolicy · 01/02/2023 19:03

needabreak5 · 01/02/2023 18:45

How long does it normally take to get approval? Did he attempt to chase up the approval? Or is it so rarely declined that it was reasonable to assume it would be approved?

it’s usually approved in a week or two. there was no reason to think it wouldn’t be as he did state ‘childcare cover due to strikes’ in the reason, it’s the first time he’s asked for ‘planned leave’ when they’ve been this busy though. Usually it’s well in advance (or very last minute and approved as a one off true emergency (DS is unwell / in hospital, for example).

it’s the first time he’s asked for ‘planned leave’ when they’ve been this busy

So there was a very good and obvious reason to think it wouldnt be approved, he knew they would be very busy!

SweetSakura · 01/02/2023 19:04

Your DH should have chased it up /clarified with his manager not just assumed it would be fine

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