Page 4 | Why do children do so many self defeating or ill advised things.

Commonsensitivity · 2023-02-01T13:09:08+00:00

My children's teachers are on strike today, so I forced (sic) the children on a dog walk to the beach before doing a fun trip this afternoon to a trampoline Park. Jesus. My 7 year old did so many silly things during the beach trip. Plonked himself in the woods and said he wasn't coming (how would he find his way home)? On the beach, unlaced all his shoes in a strop (I had to replace them so he could actually walk home in them). Pulled the bobble off his hat when he didn't win a game of rounders..... Walked around without shoes for half the walk home. I'm knackered. I have noticed that (my) children are really hard to govern in the outside world without them doing silly or dangerous things. Is it just me or do I need to just accept they are kids...

Mrsjayy · 01/02/2023 18:04

I have girls and if it wasn't a touchy thing they would touch !

larry520 · 01/02/2023 18:23

Sounds normal op, so this clarified for you why teachers are striking, because they need TA's to cope with this behaviour while they teach and extra support for those children who have additional needs in a class of 30 5 year olds?

JetPlanesMeetingInTheAir2BRefuelled · 01/02/2023 18:26

"What's wrong, JetPlanes?"
"I've got too many children and every single one of them's a dick"

Repeated ad nauseum until friends either have their own kids and get it without words, or until the kids fuck off spread their wings

illiterato · 01/02/2023 18:43

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 01/02/2023 16:02

Hahahaha I "tested" a baking tray to see "if it was hot" when I was younger. With my face. Before my parents could stop me. The burn on my lip was very impressive!! Still remember wailing, "but I was checking to see if it was still hot!!"

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My DH did the same thing with his finger on one of those old electric hobs with the coiled element and it basically burned his finger print off one of his fingers.

Original poster

Commonsensitivity · 01/02/2023 18:43

Sounds normal op, so this clarified for you why teachers are striking, because they need TA's to cope with this behaviour while they teach and extra support for those children who have additional needs in a class of 30 5 year olds?

My industry is also striking.

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ZenNudist · 01/02/2023 18:48

Mine asked for gaming, got told no do your music practice , then snuck on anyway for about 30mins before I clocked them and banned gaming. They know it's going to get them into trouble but they can't seem to say "we will get our music practice done and then get gaming", or "no it's not worth losing 2 hours on a Saturday morning for the sake of 30 mins now"..

RichardBarrister · 01/02/2023 19:14

Kids are kids and most are inherently a bit bonkers. Mine seem fairly sensible but I was terrible when I was young, impulsive and illogical.

This is why we don’t let kids get tattoos or drink alcohol or make other life changing decisions.

Kids as young as 8 should not be allowed to get a Gender Recognition Certificate to permanently change their legal sex (as advocated for by members of the Scottish Parliament) nor to decide to take puberty blockers or cross sex hormones to prevent natural puberty with serious life changing consequences such as sterility and bone damage.

drspouse · 01/02/2023 19:16

Because their brains don't work very well. They will be OK by about age 25.

Original poster

Commonsensitivity · 01/02/2023 19:17

Kids as young as 8 should not be allowed to get a Gender Recognition Certificate to permanently change their legal sex (as advocated for by members of the Scottish Parliament) nor to decide to take puberty blockers or cross sex hormones to prevent natural puberty with serious life changing consequences such as sterility and bone damage.

Absolutely. Kids that age can't even decide on what they want for breakfast.

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Sleepless1096 · 01/02/2023 19:37

My 5yo can be a bit annoying, but what I've generally found works with him is to out-annoy him. If he's moaning about walking, I flop down on the ground and refuse to move until he carries me, which he find hilarious. "But I can't carry you, Mummy, that would be like me carrying an elephant!". If he wants something in a gift or toy shop and is mithering me about it, I demand he buys me the whole shop with the money in his piggy-bank.

RichardBarrister · 01/02/2023 19:40

Commonsensitivity · 01/02/2023 19:17

Kids as young as 8 should not be allowed to get a Gender Recognition Certificate to permanently change their legal sex (as advocated for by members of the Scottish Parliament) nor to decide to take puberty blockers or cross sex hormones to prevent natural puberty with serious life changing consequences such as sterility and bone damage.

Absolutely. Kids that age can't even decide on what they want for breakfast.

Thanks op.

I sympathise with your situation- I was quite imaginative as a child and used to think of all sorts of things I hadn’t been told not to do. I also used to try things out I’d been told not to - on a school trip, my mum had warned me not to get sunburned so I wanted to know what it felt like. I got 2nd degree burns and had to have dressings on my shoulders for ages until it healed 🙄

I suggest you hold the line with yours but occasionally let them find out what happens when they try something silly as long as it won’t harm them. 😎

VikingLady · 01/02/2023 19:47

HairyMcHairyFace · 01/02/2023 13:19

Because children are idiots and that's why they need adult supervision until they can be relied upon to be a bit more sensible.
My brother and I aged about 7 & 8 decided to jump off the shed roof using pillow cases as parachutes. Fuck knows what we were thinking but thankfully our mum stopped us before we broke anything.

Honestly, that's just daft.

We used bed sheets. Brilliant. Still got a wallop though.

user1473878824 · 01/02/2023 19:50

ThreeblackCats · 01/02/2023 13:19

I’d be telling my kids that they’d lost their trip to the trampoline park… but you do you.
Just don’t moan that you’ve raised brats when lazy parenting works best for you now!
did you tell your child that he would miss out on a nice treat if he continued to misbehave? I guess not.
Enforce boundaries, stick to gentle but basic rules, such as ‘we keep our shoes on’ or ‘we don’t destroy our clothes’ or ‘we don’t hit, shout, shit in our hands, kill small animals,’
it seems you are allowing your kids to get away with blue murder and they have no punishment.

Well that escalated quickly.

Original poster

Commonsensitivity · 01/02/2023 19:53

user1473878824 · Today 19:50

ThreeblackCats · Today 13:19

I’d be telling my kids that they’d lost their trip to the trampoline park… but you do you.
Just don’t moan that you’ve raised brats when lazy parenting works best for you now!
did you tell your child that he would miss out on a nice treat if he continued to misbehave? I guess not.
Enforce boundaries, stick to gentle but basic rules, such as ‘we keep our shoes on’ or ‘we don’t destroy our clothes’ or ‘we don’t hit, shout, shit in our hands, kill small animals,’
it seems you are allowing your kids to get away with blue murder and they have no punishment.

Well that escalated quickly.

Yeah one poster is telling me I'm not listening to their feelings. The other, that I'm not punishing them enough 🤷‍♀️

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VikingLady · 01/02/2023 19:57

I'm guessing your 7 year old didn't want to go, since you mentioned "forcing" them, albeit jokingly. That's how a 7 year old tells you they're unhappy and want to go home. They obstructed you at every turn probably hoping you'd snap and take them home, or maybe just to spread their anger around a bit.

My kids have various SEN and I'm autistic, so I observe humans, especially kids, because understanding them is not innate to me. If you think of them as smaller, weaker, very ignorant and emotionally unstable adults, that helps.

If you were dragged out when you had other plans and we're told repeatedly that it was going to be fun, when you DIDN'T want that and had said so, how would you react? Honestly? Knowing you had no real agency and no one was going to listen to you asking nicely? You'd get stroppy.

FavouriteDogMug · 01/02/2023 20:05

Apparently I was quite a well behaved child but I would randomly do dangerous things. My mum says I once leapt into a patch of nettles. I'm sure in the past/zombie apocalypse I would not have made it.

crackofdoom · 01/02/2023 20:17

A certain 2 year old in my possession, during Beast from the East, was too scared to have a go at sledging with a bodyboard down the nearest steep hill with his brother, but plucked up the courage to give it a go at home. Down the stairs 🤦‍♀️

whatkatydid2013 · 01/02/2023 20:33

GinClassHeroes · 01/02/2023 14:50

Do we have the same child?

Does yours then cry because YOU made them late?

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Oh yes she would totally do that. Particularly if other adults were around.
In the long term I’m pleased I have an imaginative, assertive, excellent problem solver of a daughter who is likely to do fine with that skill set as an adult. It just would have been nice if she could have waited a bit longer before starting to outwit her parents. It’s a bit much realising you’ve been comprehensively beaten by a 2 or 3 year old 🤣

Pootleplum · 01/02/2023 20:43

I know the spirit of the thread is lol aren't kids daft but actually it sounds like he didn't want to go and was trying to communicate that in lots of ways. It's nearing half term, my dd is similar age and tired. Maybe don't force activities?

Original poster

Commonsensitivity · 01/02/2023 20:49

know the spirit of the thread is lol aren't kids daft but actually it sounds like he didn't want to go and was trying to communicate that in lots of ways. It's nearing half term, my dd is similar age and tired. Maybe don't force activities?

The dog walk was non negotiable. Had to get done. Can't leave kids home alone.

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Pootleplum · 01/02/2023 21:20

Well in those circumstances would it be possible to acknowledge and sympathise with him about going out? And promise a nice treat of his choosing for going? This is what I do with my DD and it works pretty well. I'm sure all the tough love / parents are in charge gang will think I'm a completely wet lettuce but it works for us.

HairyMcHairyFace · 01/02/2023 21:24

VikingLady · 01/02/2023 19:47

Honestly, that's just daft.

We used bed sheets. Brilliant. Still got a wallop though.

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I can't believe we didn't think it through enough to get the sheets. I bet my dad's heavy duty painting sheets and the roof would have been excellent.

babynoname22 · 01/02/2023 22:03

Learn by mistakes I guess as you say.

As long as they won't be seriously injured etc I would let him crack on. Walk with no laces then.

Mine are younger though. I've had plenty of looks re them not wanting to wear a coat in the winter. Is it worth the battle? I tried maybe three times. After that they will put it on when they are cold. It's hard as we never want them to make mistake or her hurt or upset but unfortunately that is how we learn. Think about how many times as an adult you've thought shit that was awful I won't do that again...

On the meantime
I suggest copious amount of gin

Forgooodnesssakenow · 02/02/2023 02:53

Commonsensitivity · 01/02/2023 20:49

know the spirit of the thread is lol aren't kids daft but actually it sounds like he didn't want to go and was trying to communicate that in lots of ways. It's nearing half term, my dd is similar age and tired. Maybe don't force activities?

The dog walk was non negotiable. Had to get done. Can't leave kids home alone.

Yep, we've had that, thankfully mine are 4 and 1 so everyone can not want to go but they can at least have a sit in a buggy or sling and a pull along on their scooter or rest on the buggy board. My 4 yr old though when unhappy and faced with fight or flight ALWAYS chooses flight and the kid is fast! It'd actually help me if he decided to take his shoes off and plod 🤣

Kennykenkencat · 02/02/2023 03:15

ThreeblackCats · 01/02/2023 13:19

I’d be telling my kids that they’d lost their trip to the trampoline park… but you do you.
Just don’t moan that you’ve raised brats when lazy parenting works best for you now!
did you tell your child that he would miss out on a nice treat if he continued to misbehave? I guess not.
Enforce boundaries, stick to gentle but basic rules, such as ‘we keep our shoes on’ or ‘we don’t destroy our clothes’ or ‘we don’t hit, shout, shit in our hands, kill small animals,’
it seems you are allowing your kids to get away with blue murder and they have no punishment.

But then I would miss out on the trampoline park. I only ever went to these things because I wanted to do those sort of things too.

Mine grabbed a dvd of The English Patient and ran out of WHSmiths and into the shopping mall shouting “Dont Pay DontPay” He was about 2 years old at the time. (I didn’t even have a DVD player)

Ds would get together with Dd who is close to his age and they would run in opposite directions when we were out Because they liked to see me run
I got reins and a couple of extendable dog leads so they could run around but still be safe.

They ran around a group of people in opposite directions and managed to tie them together using the extendable dog leads.

Ds would forget he had food in his bowl or plate and decide to try it out as head wear.

Dd would drop what ever she had in her hand when you tried to give her something else.

They both have ADHD and shouting or punishments don’t work.

For me it would be a case of No trampoline park = Them running around the house at midnight.

As they have got older the more outlandish things they do or buy