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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS 15 & DS 17 alone overnight

108 replies

threeblowdries · 01/02/2023 12:19

WIBU to leave them on their own at home for 1 night ?
No neighbours nearby.
They are often alone during the day but we have always come home.
Worried about them not turning off appliances or locking up properly but also fully aware that they need to learn responsibility for these things.

OP posts:
rwalker · 01/02/2023 14:59

I would of been disappointed if I couldn’t of left mine at that age

at 15 and especially 17 there on the way to being young adults not kids

tbh chances are it more down to you than the kids why you are questioning this

Sunshineandflipflops · 01/02/2023 15:03

Mine are the same age and I wouldn't but that's mainly because they wouldn't want to be left alone yet and I would just spend the time worrying so wouldn't enjoy myself anyway!

My youngest is only just 15 though and eldest very nearly 17.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 01/02/2023 15:04

FrenchandSaunders · 01/02/2023 14:58

@MavisMcMinty blimey you lost your virginity with your best mate and her boyfriend in your parents bed 😳

But they turned the washing machine off properly, and shut the fridge door.

2bazookas · 01/02/2023 15:04

Write a checklist if you must.

All ours were camping without us before that age.

Timaya · 01/02/2023 15:05

I'm 27 and I've accidently left a hob on while I was sat bing-watching a series at night. I left it on from 7pm-3am.... I only notices because I heard the tell-tale click noise it makes every now and then while on. It's not necessarily an age thing, more just airheadedness. I'm sure plenty of 15 year olds wouldn't do that, most I assume, just as most adults wouldn't.

Timaya · 01/02/2023 15:07

I often don't shut fridge or freezer doors properly either, I'm known for it. If they are that way inclined, I thin you'd know by now.

girlfriend44 · 01/02/2023 15:07

absolutely not. My friend had a friend that did this and the older boy was abusing his sister. It didnt come out until years later. Protect your children you never know.

HagridTheGiant · 01/02/2023 15:11

17 fine. A small minority live independently at that age.
15 fine with sibling.

For me the biggest risk would be one of them having a party!

DelphiniumBlue · 01/02/2023 15:14

Only if you can trust them not to advertise the fact that there is an adult free house in the area.

girlfriend44 · 01/02/2023 15:15

TheBigWangTheory · 01/02/2023 12:32

You're being unreasonable in that it's ridiculous that your 17 and 15 year olds can't be left over night. Have you taught them nothing?

what about sibling abuse is nobody going to acknowledge it could happen.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 01/02/2023 15:19

Odd take @girlfriend44, what happened to your friend is terrible, but if that was happening- it could be any time the parents are out, I doubt someone with that inclination is suddenly going to decide to do that just because the parents are on holiday

quietnightmare · 01/02/2023 15:19

Mumsnet has gone mad. Of course you can

VoluptuaGoodshag · 01/02/2023 15:20

I was left alone every weekend and for a fortnight during the summer holidays aged 15. In turn I've left my kids for a night aged 16 and 14. The eldest is 17, they could be living away from home at uni, what do you think could possibly happen? They need to learn independence to function in adult life.

Roundabout78 · 01/02/2023 15:20

girlfriend44 · 01/02/2023 15:07

absolutely not. My friend had a friend that did this and the older boy was abusing his sister. It didnt come out until years later. Protect your children you never know.

What the fuck?!

Timaya · 01/02/2023 15:20

what about sibling abuse is nobody going to acknowledge it could happen.

What about father's who ssxually abuse their kids? I take it you think they should never be left alone too, just in case.

Roundabout78 · 01/02/2023 15:21

quietnightmare · 01/02/2023 15:19

Mumsnet has gone mad. Of course you can

agreed! Don’t think I’ve ever seen so many bonkers responses on one thread. Christ almighty 🤯

Frankielovesme · 01/02/2023 15:22

I would leave them overnight,at 17 your child is almost an adult.
I had left home and lived in another country when I was 18. Regularly minded my younger siblings overnight from the age of 14.

SleeplessInEngland · 01/02/2023 15:22

FrostyFifi · 01/02/2023 12:30

Oh god no far too young. Their brains are still develping till they're 25.

Is this a joke post? I guess you wouldn't leave a 24 YO overnight either then.

Catspyjamas17 · 01/02/2023 15:28

Yes I think I would. But we have relatives only round the corner and know our neighbours.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 15:30

Of course they can be left.

I'd be really worried if you couldn't leave two teenagers of those ages for a night, honestly (special needs aside, obviously).

girlfriend44 · 01/02/2023 15:32

Roundabout78 · 01/02/2023 15:20

What the fuck?!

Show quote history

no dont you what the fuck me, you take it seriously it could happen.

TheBigWangTheory · 01/02/2023 15:35

girlfriend44 · 01/02/2023 15:15

what about sibling abuse is nobody going to acknowledge it could happen.

Show quote history

It could happen any day or night, they don't wait until you go away for the night, ffs. Cop on

xogossipgirlxo · 01/02/2023 15:42

"Worried about them not turning off appliances or locking up properly"

Really? 😬They're not 5.

Anonymouseposter · 01/02/2023 15:48

It should be fine. The only concern I would have is how well they get on together. I find that teenagers can be immature towards their siblings even if they’re generally quite sensible. If they usually get on well and rarely argue I can’t see a problem

Cocobutt · 01/02/2023 15:56

I completely understand about the appliance thing!

So many house fires are caused by teens leaving their hair straighteners on or not unplugging their chargers and there was a thread just today about a grown woman dropping her cookies into the flame of her fire.

If it’s just for one night then they shouldn’t need to use any of these appliances anyway and remind them to turn them off if they do.

As they are not used to spending the night alone then they are going to be extra careful.
It’s when people get used to using these appliances do they get not concentrate as much.

I was a single parent living alone by 18 and I’ve never had a fire or any issues.

I would do it as I think they will be absolutely fine and it’s things like this which helps them grown into well rounded adults.