DPs expensive new car... AIBU?

[Lro]

DP and I have three children between us, and are expecting our fourth in a couple of months. I have a small, but nice car that is on a cheap finance deal, I will own it outright in a year. DP originally took out a cheap finance deal for a similar small, nice car. This isn't the ideal scenario; it means whenever DP has his children we will need to use two cars for days out, trips away etc. The boot of my car isn't massive, so it also means the buggy will take over the whole thing, leaving no room for anything else. I wasn't bothered by any of this though, because we had decided we would both have cheap cars and make these sacrifices to save money.

Today, DP has said he no longer wants the cheap, small car he'd agreed to finance, and has doubled the finance budget. He wants to get a sporty, posher model car. We can afford this, that's not the issue, but we will no longer be saving money. My argument is, if we are now doubling the finance budget, we should get a bigger car that can accommodate all of us. He's adamant that he wants to get a sporty, posh car even though it's impractical.

AIBU?

Sounds like a bit of a sad bastard if I'm honest OP, he somehow ties his self worth and ego to what car he drives which is more than a bit silly, and definitely little man syndrome.

Makes perfect sense with your setup to get a 7 seater, I've had the Kia Sorrento before and it's pretty smart inside and out and really comfortable with all the modern kit you'd expect.

He’s being totally unreasonable.
So he’s wanting to spend a total of £750pm on car finance?
Could you not get the £400 7 seater and a decent car for the other £350. Surely he can find something suitable for £350pm? My friend has just got a Mercedes over 5yrs for £312pm, she did have a deposit but it wasn’t a massive one…less than 1k.
However, a loan would surely be cheaper than paying for 2 lots of car finance unless you’re doing PCP?
Good luck.

To you maybe.

He's probably going to do it whether you agree or not, or else you'll have to hear about it forever that you didn't let him get "a good" car. However, I don't get his argument. Don't you also work hard? He's probably just going to do it but how is he going to ensure that (a) this isn't a burden on you and (b) what are YOU going to get from the family budget because you also work hard? Or is this car just to show how much better and more important he is to the family than you?

This boils down to utility. We have 2 practical cars that can accommodate the family. Dp is itching to buy a sports car, in our case we can because I also have a utility vehicle. You can say no and bicker or swap your car for a family vehicle.
That then pleases both parties.

Are all the kids with you full time OP?

4 kids with you

and at least two from a previous relationship

You’d think he’d have better things to spend his money on

but nope… let’s blow it on a sports car and keep churning out the children

And he has at least 6 kids (4 with you and at least two from a previous)

No. Bloody. Way. Is “money not an issue”.

Tell him to grow up and buy a seven seater. There are loads on autotrader for not much money.

Presumably it’s quite a few years old? £500/mth doesn’t get you much in the way of sporty Audi/BMW/Tesla

Unlike most posters I don't think this is a massive deal.

The original car would have had the same capacity, it's just that this one will look nicer and be more comfortable. So it doesn't change anything other than he's spending his money on something he likes.

I think both of you having cars that are too small for the number of children you have is a bit bonkers anyway, though.

I can only assume he's having a midlife crisis. What an idiot. It's not ok to splash cash like this when you've both agreed the budget.

So he wants to swan around in his bachelor car safe in the knowledge that he'll never have to have the baby in it, after all the baby will be your responsibility. He's trying to establish new rules in your partnership which benefit him, rather than the family as a whole, the man's a bit of a dick I'm afraid

This is him checking out of parental responsibility.
He's showing you how it's going to be!

I’d tell him you’ve thought about it and he’s right, and as you work hard too, you’re going to sell your car and buy a horse.

Trade his car now for something practical for the whole family. When your finance runs out if funds permit, he can get a naice car for commuting and general swanning around in.

In my experience sporty cars don't accommodate much in the way of car seats unless you are full on SUV.

And this man, flashing the cash, has a minimum of 5 children with another on the way.

Mind boggles.

Poor woman.
Poor children.

What an absolute waster.

I am fascinated what draws these women to have 1, 2, 3, 4 children with someone like this

Who is he trying to impress with this car?

Men can want things for themselves. You do realise that dont you?

It's not allowed.🙄

No @Hellsmovie we needed geniuses like you to point that out to us