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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to shower first?

9 replies

Unbaked · 30/01/2023 20:37

In an attempt to avoid drip feeding-

3 DC, 1 with additional needs- cannot be left unsupervised for a second.
DP works full time, 9-5 office job.
I recently stopped working nights due to change in employer and shifts were unsuitable.
I now Claim carers allowance.
DP currently gets the kids up in the morning, changes 2 nappies and makes 2 slices of toast. Whilst he does this I jump in the shower and get dressed. I am done in ten minutes.
I do everything else with the kids, all appointments, school runs, out of school clubs, lunches/ dinners- 1DC has a lot of extra paperwork bits that need chasing regularly. I handle it all.

When I'm out of the shower I take over with the kids, get them dressed and finished breakfast, out the door for school ect. DP goes outside for his morning cigarette once I'm out of the shower. THEN he finally gets in the shower.

Dp argues he should shower in the morning because he needs to leave 10 mins before I do.

I say no, stop having a 10 minute cigarette break before showering! It doesn't matter who showers first- but if he does then he does nothing with the kids once he's out.

I put my foot down and said no, I'm showering first and you can help out with the kids for that 10 minutes.

Am I unreasonable here please?

OP posts:
Choconut · 30/01/2023 20:51

No you should shower first while he helps out for five minutes.

Glorianna · 30/01/2023 20:54

Nope, keep showering first.

ChuhChuhChuhChanging · 30/01/2023 21:08

Surely he should be showering after because he’d need to shower again after his cigarette anyway. YANBU.

Original poster
Unbaked · 30/01/2023 23:09

He's a smoker so no, doesn't shower after every cigarette.

OP posts:
Cileymyrus · 30/01/2023 23:17

Personally I’d stay in bed while he gets up and does the nappies. Then take over while he has his shower/cig/gets ready.

then school run, come home, and have a proper hot shower in my own time taking as long as I want.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 30/01/2023 23:20

Who are the 4 %tossers who voted yabu??
😡

BRT · 30/01/2023 23:29

Cileymyrus · 30/01/2023 23:17

Personally I’d stay in bed while he gets up and does the nappies. Then take over while he has his shower/cig/gets ready.

then school run, come home, and have a proper hot shower in my own time taking as long as I want.

RTFT 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP has already said she can't leave DC1 alone even for a second. I'm sure a long shower for as long as she wants is a luxury she can only dream of.

Op.. YANBU.

Cileymyrus · 30/01/2023 23:35

BRT · 30/01/2023 23:29

RTFT 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP has already said she can't leave DC1 alone even for a second. I'm sure a long shower for as long as she wants is a luxury she can only dream of.

Op.. YANBU.

Show quote history

I did. the way the o/p was worded gave me the impression the kids all go to nursery/school.”, especially as until now o/p has been working. She also doesn’t say the ages of the children, they may get their nursery hours.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 30/01/2023 23:44

If you are unable to leave a child for 10 seconds, then you need to shower while DH is still there. Surely he could have a cig on his way to work?

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