I have NC for this because I know my friend uses MN.
Very good friend of 20 years + was 40yrs last month. We see each other every other week, text 2-3 times a week. We are very good friends. Friend said she was going on holiday for her 40th all good, she said she was planning a party in the summer instead.
Closer to the time she mentioned a friend was organising a small party for her - they share a hobby, and I was totally relaxed about it. Happy for her etc. Dropped her present etc over she didn’t even acknowledge the gift (which was expensive and thoughtful) at the time and went oddly silent for a period of time ( unlike her as she usually texts a few times a week)
We met up for lunch last week - it was a belated birthday lunch, and she tells me all about her party - turns out it was a huge, huge party including her parents, siblings, loads of friends. Friend would need to have been involved with the guest list as they wouldn’t have contacts for everyone there.
I don’t know if she misled me or I am being over sensitive? Despite her telling me all about her party, it’s oddly left a strange atmosphere between us. I paid for the lunch which again was very expensive but it is her fav place. No word of thanks. She mentioned my present was ‘okay’ I got the feeling she was underwhelmed, and I have worried since she is disappointed in it and i had messed up. So much so I thought I might get her something else to make up for it. It was a piece of jewellery and I don’t think she liked it.
I don’t mind per se about the party itself, and I know it is up to her who she invites but I feel hurt she couldn’t tell me, and now I don’t know whether just to downgrade the friendship? I have an intense job, 4 dc and I don’t have much spare time (understatement) and I feel she doesn’t value our friendship as much as I thought she did after this. I feel oddly used. AIBU?