AIBU to not understand this recent trend of giving baby girls male names?

[LaLuz7]

James, Ryan, Dylan...

I can't wrap my head around the idea of purposefully choosing a very traditionally male name for a girl.

Why would you? What message are you trying to send? Why don't you ever see it done the other way around (female names for boys)?

I personally feel that if I had gotten a male name it would have made me feel like my parents really wanted a boy and were disappointed in me. It would feel almost spiteful and it would give me inadequacy feelings.

My other gripe with this is that it doesn't sit well with me from a feminist perspective. By giving girls male names (but never ever the other way around) you are perpetuating the idea that masculinity as a trait is desirable and valuable above femininity.

Can someone explain it to me?

Lesley/Leslie
Lindsay/lyndsey
Mackenzie - both
Stevie- both, but mainly girls
Tyler- both

I don't think in real life, people really think about it.

But a name is given on a sex based characteristic not a gender construct

I would still not understand why they couldn't have either 1) used the feminine equivalent if there was one or 2) used it as a middle name to allow me some choice later or

Frances/Francis
Leigh/Lee

The difference being generally there are 2 spellings, one typically seen as male one as female

the adopting of names that clearly are male or clearly are female is being done to make a statement

It literally doesn't matter. Names / words have no fixed meaning through time and if the individual likes the name as they're growing up, what's the issue?

YOU feel it doesn't matter and that's fine to hold that view. But just because you feel it doesn't matter doesn't mean it doesn't create issues for others.

You don't say doctoress and doctor do you? So why do certain professions/jobs require you to distinguish between make and female?

No, but there has never been a job title of doctorsess, whereas females in the acting world have been called actresses from 1660 till around the 1990s.

What about Kerry? I always though it was a girls name and joined my place of work 20 years ago and there were 3, yes 3 males named Kerry. I didn't realise it was unisex

The issue is exactly right there in your comment. How many girls do you think would be perfectly happy to go through life being called James or Michael or Robert? I bet it's a very tiny minority. So you are essentially screwing your daughter over to make a statement...

It’s only society which seems a name ‘male’ or ‘female’, it’s not inherent. Who cares

YOU feel it doesn't matter and that's fine to hold that view. But just because you feel it doesn't matter doesn't mean it doesn't create issues for others

What issues? Really? If the person doesn't like their name they can change it?

Names which have different spellings according to sex are different to what OP is talking about. But what does it really matter, a name is a name. I’m not sure I’d personally want to be called a name that is a very popular and established name for the other sex only though.

You can make that argument for lots of names, though.

Lots of people grow up hating their names, even though those names are seen, by society, as perfectly normal/acceptable for their sex.

They can't change it until 16. That's a lot of years to be bullied and to live with a name you despise.

Unless they use a word from a gendered language for a name then find a new rabbit hole to fall down...

you are essentially screwing your daughter over to make a statement

No. The main problem is with the idiots who would criticise someone for having the 'wrong' name.

And if the daughter hates it she can change it. 'Screwing over' is very strong. Has anyone ever wailed they went through their whole life with the wrong name? Come off it.

That's a whataboutism and really not a smart argument at all. Just because there are worse names to burden a girl with doesn't make these ones any more acceptable.

Same applies to literally any other name, though.

I knew someone who hated being called Olivia - really despised it. You wouldn't say that someone calling their daughter "Olivia" was wrong because of it, though.

Have you never heard of a boy named Sue?

Except life didn’t turn out well for poor old Sue!

They can't change it until 16. That's a lot of years to be bullied and to live with a name you despise

The issue is with the bullies, not the name. IME schools call children their preferred name anyway, if they're sure, regardless of legal status.

I'm not talking about worse names.

How many girls/women now absolutely hate being called Karen, for example? A name that was, until a few years ago, a perfectly normal, acceptable name for a woman. I hated my name growing up but it was a very common, normal girls name for the time.

I never use it as an adult and most people who meet me have no idea that it's my real name.

Exactly!

Im sure any woman with a unisex or male name or a name with multiple variants of spelling can tell you of the many eye rolling moments they've had when explaining their name, or explaining the spelling

It's not as simple as changing your name. By the time you're 18 it's a core part of your identity

Exactly this! Most schools today will quite happily call a child a different name if they want/choose.

I know men and women with the other spelling so you only know if they are a man or woman if you meet them.