AIBU to not understand this recent trend of giving baby girls male names?

[LaLuz7]

James, Ryan, Dylan...

I can't wrap my head around the idea of purposefully choosing a very traditionally male name for a girl.

Why would you? What message are you trying to send? Why don't you ever see it done the other way around (female names for boys)?

I personally feel that if I had gotten a male name it would have made me feel like my parents really wanted a boy and were disappointed in me. It would feel almost spiteful and it would give me inadequacy feelings.

My other gripe with this is that it doesn't sit well with me from a feminist perspective. By giving girls male names (but never ever the other way around) you are perpetuating the idea that masculinity as a trait is desirable and valuable above femininity.

Can someone explain it to me?

It's not as simple as changing your name. By the time you're 18 it's a core part of your identity

People change their name all the time, or a variety of reasons, common or uncommon. If someone hates a core part of their identity they still have a choice.

The eye-rolling is at the people who are so idiotic as to not understand that shock-horror people can be called anything they choose to go by.

And that's without all the flourishes to make the names different.
Lesleigh
Lezlee
Lyndzi
Lindzi

It's fine to call your daughter James if you'd be equally happy to name your son Sarah.

YABVU -you may not understand it but it literally has nothing to do with you what other people name their child!

Bollocks sounds more male to me. I have to say I have no big concerns about female/male names but I don’t think I would be happy with this for a girl.

But you’re saying this as someone who hasn’t been given a traditionally male name so there’s a lot of whataboutery. You might have loved being called Michael. They also could have named you Geraldine or Janet and you might hate those feminine names too. (I chose those names as they are my aunts names, nothing personal against them)

But wouldn't they have been Christine, Samantha and Joanne or Josephine?

You can be “known as” something from any age.

And lots of women who are actors have decided they don't want that distinction.

Same as people who are chairs or head teachers don't want you to focus on their sex.

It due to how people aren't respected if it is found out they are women and paid less. They are also can be subjected to horrific abuse linked to their sex.

This one reason why after being annoyed by my unisex name I realised it was an advantage being thought as male. Oddly my male friend works in the same wider industry and it also works to his advantage being thought as as female.

Agree, hate it. I love the name Alexandra but would hate it to be shortened to Alex. Likewise Cristina (Cris), Charlotte (Charlie). Will make sure to pick a 100% female name with no room for interpretation.

And lots of women who are actors have decided they don't want that distinction.

Yes I know but it took them over 300 years to decide. If you became used to women being actresses in that time, then actor sounds a little jarring. I’m sure we’ll get used to it and future generations will find it normal

You don't need to wait until sixteen to be known as another name.

I went to school with a girl called Phoebe - she hated it and went by her middle name instead. I didn't even know her real name was Phoebe until I saw it on some kind of ID.

Teachers will call students whatever they want, as a general rule, and when you go to work, you can pick your "known as" name too. There's absolutely no need to spend your life being known as something you hate.

But you don't get to decide what nickname your child uses/prefers as they grow.

You could pick the most feminine name ever, they could still hate it and decide to go by Sam instead.

I am a 42 year old woman with a man’s name. I’ve never met another woman with my name. I love my name and have never thought my parents were being spiteful 😕they just liked the name, it is the name of a singer they both loved.

People hate names you can shorten.
Dh had a friend called Ian. People called him ' E'! You can never win

That’s literally impossible. My friend has a very frilly feminine name. She goes by Laurie because her surname is Lawrence. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hilary was, I think, almost exclusively a male name until around the 1920s, when it became more unisex.

'James' would be unusual for a girl even nowadays; but was she named after her father or grandfather? I think in America especially, sometimes a relative's name is given to a child of either sex. One fact that has always stuck in my mind is that President Obama's mother's first name was Stanley!

Indeed. I knew an 'Anne' who, as a child, was known as 'Andrew' by one group of friends and 'Dan' by another.

I just made a faux pas by assuming a newborn Aubrey was a boy.

Good luck! I have a Lois, which I thought was pretty well-known and unambiguously female. It regularly gets misheard as Lewis 🤷

All the names you listed are quite effeminate.

Like Hillary, Toni, Lesley etc.

Names become unisex.

How is James effeminate? 🤨

I used to know someone who's mother was Ger (short for Geraldine) and father Bernie (short for Bernard). She married someone who's father was Ger (short for Gerard) and mother Bernie (short for Bernadette). They all found it quite amusing.

I am a woman with a man's name, I'm 35 years old so it's not a new thing. My mother just liked the name, and she didn't want a boy. Although she had decided that I would have been "my name" if I was a boy or girl.

Another thing to consider is culture.

My parents were going to name me Alexander if I was a boy - but my dad didn't like the name as in Australia (where he's from) it's typically shortened to Sandy which he didn't like.

But in the UK/US - Sandy is probably more of a feminine name (think Sandy from Grease), and you wouldn't really use it as a shortened version of Alexander.