As the title says, my boyfriend (of 8yrs) keep using snus (tobacco free nicotine pouches) and lying to me about it. I've now found snus on a number of occasions in our home and his car throughout the past few years (never been purposely snooping). Each time I bring it up he'll become irritated, deny doing it, accuse me of snooping and when I present irrefutable evidence he will claim that he just wanted to try it, just doing it once, etc. - and then promises he wont do it, or lie to me again. I don't mean to come across as controlling, but he's known from the start that I refuse to be with someone who is addicted to any substance (drugs, alcohol etc.) - I have had a family member suffer from alcoholism and he's has several family members with nicotine and alcohol addiction - so we have both seen the negative implications of additions first hand. I know snus is much better heathwise than smoking (which he uses as justification), but I still do worry about the nicotine being damaging to his health, and I cannot stand the irritability, sneaking etc. that comes along with nicotine addiction. Today I found 2 packages of high strength snus in his bag, when I confronted him about it he denied it - then later admitted to have been using it recently. I then found another package in his jacket and he admitted to have been using 2 a day for the past 2 weeks. With all the lies I don't know what to believe, but I'm guessing he's using more than he admits and probably for longer, since I have found several packages of snus and cigarettes throughout the past couple of years. I tried to suggest nicotine free products to help him quit (since although he denies it it's clear he is addicted at least to a certain degree), but he's saying this doesn't effect me at all and I have no right to ask him to stop - and that the only reason he lies is because I get upset and "overreact" when I find them.
Am I being unreasonable in wanting him to quit? Do I have a right to feel upset about the lying - should I just get over it and accept his nicotine use? I feel so betrayed and saddened by all of this.