Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

[Nimbostratus100]

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here

The facts of the case

12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation

This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time.

This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there.

What do you think should happen? why?

I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random!

YABU - the boy should be expelled
YANBU - the boy should not be expelled

also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled?

Thank you

Do the other parents know he’s been suitably punished?

He was told not to skate. He broke the rules and there were serious repercussions as a result of him breaking the rules.

He should be expelled and should take the consequences of this.

I'm in my late 60s, so would be around same age as this woman. I don't want to be solely defined by my grandmotherhood either, but I WOULD expect a twelve year old on a skateboard to take more care around me than they would around their peers. And in general I find that kids of that age are a lot more considerate of me now than they would have been when I was a couple of decades younger, even.

So to me it demonstrates that this boy was being particularly careless.

I think I'd say maybe two month suspension and a ban from bringing the skateboard (or similar things, so no blades, hoverboards, bikes etc) on the premises.

It is not uncommon for kids to not listen to that sort of instruction, and it was a very unfortunate consequence on this occasion. The villifying him to the point of banning (unless more info is missing eg that he was whizzing around terrorizing her rather bumped because he didnt see her) seems excessively harsh to me. Kids do need to learn that redemption is possible but that they have to graciously suck up the punishment/consequences first, and show they've learned their lesson second. If he could do something for the injured lady too that would be ideal.

If a kid broke my arm doing something he had been specifically told not to do only a short time beforehand I’d be furious. I wouldn’t be able to work and as I’m self employed I’d be in serious financial trouble. Impulsive my arse, that’s ‘the rules don’t apply to me’ entitlement. He should be chucked out.

Right, thought not...

Read the title.

Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

OP, without knowing the punishment and how the boy feels about what he did it's a bit hard to give an opinion still. I do think there should be sanctions, maybe not explusion (but maybe, depends on what he's done previously). Otherwise why would he change his behaviour now?

I once witnessed a colleague get hit in the face by a kid of maybe the same age who was swinging a cricket bat around on a station platform. The reaction of the mum reminds me of a lot of the posters here who keep dismissing it as just an accident and I'm genuinely surprised at how many seem to think him feeling bad (which hasn't even been confirmed) is enough.

That said, I wouldn’t be joining in any vigilante WhatsApp stuff, that’s horrible behaviour.

Well, he's had several reprimands already, so he clearly doesn't learn from his mistakes very quickly.

Expulsion. I’m shocked at some of the posts condoning rule breaking especially when there has been serious physical harm. Someone’s child will be next.

This boy won’t be riding his skateboard inside the club again. Some people have to learn lessons the hard way. Not sure how I’d feel if I was the broken-armed grandmother, but when someone crashed their car into mine, breaking dozens of my bones, I forgave him, accidents happen, the first ambulance dispatched to me also crashed and was a write-off!

No

It was always an accident waiting to happen hence the 'no skateboard' rules

He chose to break the rules

No accident

He should be sorry enough to take himself away from the club and his parents should be backing that too

There is a certain number of parents who are not happy, and are intending to protest, boycott tomorrow

Then they are disgusting and should be ashamed of themselves.

Who the fuck are these people? Adults no less who should know better! Have none of them ever made a mistake as a child? I’d have no qualms telling them exactly what I thought of them.

It sounds like you live in some kind of village of the damned OP? Adults braying for a 12yr olds blood? Disgusting.

And I’d hedge a bet it’s more to do with who this boy is (ie “not really one of them”) than the accident itself.

He needs a final warning for that I think. One more rule break and out. However minor.

So one more rule break, at all, you’re out.

I disagree that this was an accident, an accident is something that one cannot predict or forsee.

This was absolutely predictable and is WHY he was told not to ride the skateboard on the premises.

But... it is also absolutely predictable that a child of this age may well NOT follow rules or instructions.

So in fact the buck stops with the adults in charge, they should have taken the skateboard off him and given it back when he was off the premises or escorted him off the premises to ensure he didn't ride the skateboard.

I don't think I would expel, I would however want to see some sort of sanctions for example, he not be eligible for first team or certain competitions/awards for a set period of time (really depends on what the sport is).

If it is a team sport, it is well worth re-iterating rules are there for the good of the team, following instruction is necessary, if you can't stick to the rules of the sport and the instructions, then you are not a team player and cannot benefit your team!

I would hope that he is banned from having his skateboard anywhere on the premises, at least.

I like to think I have more than a smidgen of kindness in me, but if I happened to be the person involved I would be happy for the boy to be expelled in these circumstances unless there were genuine mitigating circumstances.

I am very lucky that my work has a very generous sick leave pay so if this happened to me I wouldn’t have to rely on SSP for a long time. However, I know plenty of people who would be very badly affected by this if it left them unable to work for any prolonged period of time.

I am not a Christian though. Good or otherwise!

If his allowed to stay what does he learn that another rule doesn’t apply to him. Not only can he skip lessons, not only can he mouth off at refs, he can also actually cause real harm to someone and yet his still allowed because his troubled.

It’s pretty predictable that skateboarding carries a risk of careeering into someone and hurting them, he absolutely should be punished. But kicking him out of the club at 12 is v harsh. Maybe he should be barred from representing the club, eg by competing with them for a term.

I’m glad he hasn’t been expelled, he’s 12, behaved in a silly immature way (which a lot of 12 year olds do!) and caused an accident. He should continue to play his sport and be nurtured by this club.

I do hope he’s sent a letter of apology to the grandma though!

I feel for the kid and the woman who was injured. Not a great situation for either of them.

But -it was an accident. It's likely that at only 12 he won't have remotely considered the potential consequences.

Expelling a 12 year old isn't likely to achieve anything good for anyone.

I would suggest a period of suspension, maybe 6 weeks?

And perhaps some offer to make amends -could an adult reach out to the injured lady and see if the boy and some of his team mates could do something for her -tidy the garden for spring or other manual jobs/ help with shopping etc?

Sadly there are always those who enjoy a good DM style frothing at the mouth, looking for ways to make an unfortunate situation worse and they'll likely have the loudest voices in this. For the sake of the 12 year old, I think I'd stick my head about the parapet and agree it was awful but suggest that the punishment should match the crime (skateboarding where he knew he shouldn't have been) rather than the unintended outcome, and suggest suspension plus a plan to make amends instead of expulsion.

I think without knowing the consequences for the grandmother, preaching that she should have a heart is a bit rich. That's not to say anyone should be out for blood, but a broken bone may have some significant quality of life impact, either short or long term, plus the financial impact others have mentioned.

Maybe this is a sport where rule breaking could endanger other children and they want to protect their own child.