Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

[Nimbostratus100]

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here

The facts of the case

12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation

This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time.

This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there.

What do you think should happen? why?

I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random!

YABU - the boy should be expelled
YANBU - the boy should not be expelled

also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled?

Thank you

Why presume a “grandmother”was walking slowly.I’m 72 and can out pace people half my age…

No, was no malicious intent, so carelessness.

the other parents sound unhinged

I know. I'm just pointing out that fractures are serious in older people. I don't know statistics for arm fractures.

Boy should have his skateboard given to a charity shop and be forced to write a handwritten apology to the lady and send her 6 months of his pocket money to buy something. Boy should also spend some of his free time volunteering at something relevant eg care home / Age UK etc.

Not sure kicking him out of the activity helps.

Nimbostratus
That's exactly what I was thinking
Are other parents kids being relegated…..god some parents can be so nasty.

I agree he shouldn’t be chucked out

The notion of a load of adults ganging up on a 12 year old who has already been dealt with is pretty distasteful, I think

I agree. I've seen it happen in my area though - for a 9 year old who hadn't done anything close to this. That's why I asked about the area, because a certain type of parent seems to overreact to this sort of thing.

Referring to the woman as a grandmother is relevant as it shows that she is of mature years and possibly elderly. Broken bones when you are old can be very serious and even fatal in some cases. The boy should be made to understand the seriousness of his actions, made to apologise to the woman and given a six month suspension from the club.

The OP seems to think the boy shouldn't be expelled. Sounds like other instances of sports people getting done for e.g. drink-driving, drugs or getting into fights.
If they might win trophies for their club, the misdemeanor gets conveniently forgotten, and they are allowed back into the sport for the cachet of winning 'for the club' . It sickens me.

He hasn't had reprimands for this sort of behaviour.

Don’t think a 12yr old will be allowed to volunteer in a care home….I could be wrong…but there are a whole loud of safety issues here

My mum is in her 80s and can outpace most people

What does the club code of conduct say?

I am on Team Boy - he should not be expelled and parents shouldn't be able to bully him out.

I think there should definitely be a consequence, but expulsion is OTT. A suspension plus some other punishment would be appropriate I would think, with it being made clear that any repeat would result in expulsion.

I agree and disagree with you.

I wouldn’t say expulsion is the ultimate sanction- he has already been warned not to do this because it’s dangerous so he had the opportunity to learn not to do something, after being told off.

I think the type of sport matters hugely here like i said in a previous comment. Some sports are dangerous and rely on good behaviour, discipline and trust. At the riding school at our stables he would be asked to leave on the basis of a child who has shown he won’t do what he’s told and caused an injury is simply too much of a liability and risk of causing future injuries. He might learn from this and never do it again, but the risk that he doesn’t and can’t follow instruction again and causes another accident is too dangerous in an already risky sport. A 12 year old is more than old enough to understand this. But in a less risky sport expulsion is perhaps harsh and he should be given another chance to prove himself.

it’s a complex situation for sure!

Why would he learn that a rule doesn't apply to him if he's been punished for breaking the rule?

Some of the posts on here are quite disturbing in the way they demonise children.

I can’t get over the contempt for the injured woman here. What do she just needs to suck it up? Maybe she’s working a minimum wage job and is now out of work? Maybe that arm will play her up for years? Or maybe she thinks he’s a lovely cheeky young’un doing hi jinks how jolly?

A family member broke her wrist at age 63 and not only did the bones take far longer to knit, she developed arthritis in the joint and has suffered pain ever since. My next door neighbour, in her early 70s fell and broke her shoulder before Christmas. She died a couple of weeks ago from pneumonia which set in as a result of being immobilised while it healed. Broken bones have more serious consequences the older you get, and their ability to heal is affected by underlying health conditions.

I disagree that we don't sentence based on outcome. If you punch someone only intending to give him a bloody nose but he falls, bangs his head and dies you won't be sentenced for giving him a bloody nose.

Do you seriously think going along and tidying up her garden for spring is appropriate? His intent was to do what he wanted without regard to the rules or the outcome, for his sake he needs to learn this can't go on or he will end up in serious trouble.

Was he using the skateboard inside (or literally out the door to outside) or out? Not clear from the post.

My initial reaction was that permanent expulsion is harsh for an accident but suspension from the club for x amount of time may be fair. It was an accident, although caused by what sounds like reckless behaviour.

Indeed so.
If a fully healthy 40 year old breaks a bone, then it's been a very bad collision with the skateboarder/floor and depending on what surgery was necessary, the after effects such as arthritis/limited/restricted movement, etc., could be felt for very many more years than they would in an older person, so any compo paid out will reflect that.

What is expelling him going to achieve??? He got on his skateboard probably a fraction too soon at the entrance. What if he had been told no running and had run into her??? Not sure what the sport is but he should be made to come to trainings and matches and have to sit and watch for a period of time.

Why do news reports always call someone a grandmother as if it automatically means something age wise even if it’s completely irrelevant to the story. I have a relative who was a grandmother at 38 and I’m sure there are lots of ‘grannies’ in their 40s. I don’t mean specifically this article but it does annoy the hell out of me.

Well done. I’ll give you a slow hand clap for that.

The important things are how somebody write or types clearly not how they behave.

It required an operation so was clearly a complex fracture. I'm her age and despite being fitter than most, annoyingly, I find it takes a lot longer to get over the simplest of injuries. I would feel very pessimistic about a complex arm fracture resolving completely, now.