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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we had a ghost?

110 replies

SmartPony · 26/01/2023 20:14

I have posted about this before, but DD had a scary dream about someone standing on our stairs which made me think of it again!

We moved into our dilapidated bungalow a few years ago. Previously owned by an elderly couple - husband had died. Wife went into care home. It had remained unoccupied for some months. Very dusty, old - imprint of a cross that used to hang on our bedroom wall.

First night - a car seat that I’d placed centrally on a table fell to the floor. Loud bang middle of the night in the darkness.

A week later I distinctly heard the piano being played. Called out well done to DD. She was in a different room and was not playing the piano.

One morning I woke to the sound of an alarm clock. Which stopped as I woke. Desperately searched bed for phone/clock. Nothing there. A few weeks later I looked at picture of bedroom as it was - on rightmove. There was once an alarm clock where I heard the noise.

I didn’t speak about any of this to DD, maybe mentioned to DP - but certainly not in front of DD as I wouldn’t want to scare her.

DD went to the toilet and DP saw her freeze. She said there was a man in the toilet wearing a suit. And he disappeared. DD then refused to go to toilet without an adult for several weeks.

Then - nothing more. And if I did perhaps wonder if we had a ‘ghost’ - I certainly don’t now. It’s our home.

My justification for this is : settling in to a new home, and my mind racing. The state it was in and an over active imagination on my part. All my communications to DD were rational and we always said the ‘ghost’ in the toilet was Daddy’s shadow. Only I spoke to our neighbour who knew the elderly couple - she remarked that he was always smartly dressed…

Tell me I’m mad!

OP posts:
hellobethyname · 26/01/2023 22:28

I don't think it was
Fiction- I had on conversations with the original poster of that story .

hellobethyname · 26/01/2023 22:30

If you've never had an experience you cannot explain I understand why the cynicism but there are things that happen that cannot be explained.

KettrickenSmiled · 26/01/2023 23:01

imprint of a cross that used to hang on our bedroom wall.

Come now OP, that should have tipped you the wink & had you running away screaming before the estate agents got their paws on your cash. It's spookier than a spooky thing spooking ScoobyDoo into trembling in Shaggy's arms.

Wife2b · 26/01/2023 23:23

Ahhh I wish I’d not read this before bed!!

Patineur · 26/01/2023 23:35

One morning I woke to the sound of an alarm clock. Which stopped as I woke. Desperately searched bed for phone/clock. Nothing there.

That is what we call a "dream", OP.

Elfidela1980 · 27/01/2023 00:23

We had something strange happen with our toddler DS once. I am not given to believing in this sort of stuff, though I like a spooky film etc. But the thing is, I do think they’re just stories. Even after what happened, and I don’t know what it was exactly, I couldn’t put my hand on a stack of bibles and say ‘I believe in ghosts.’
I also wouldn’t say with certainty ‘there’s nothing there.’

DS, about three at the time, started to get frightened of the bottom hallway in our house. We had a dinky dining room (ended up being used as toy dump as they always do!) which lay at the end of a long corridor. DS spent a lot of his day in there because it was beside the kitchen and I could talk to him while I worked. I noticed he’d started to drag the big toys -and on one occasion his playpen - and pile them against the inside of the toy room door. He’d cry and plead if I moved them away (fortunately there were two doors into the toy room). He would also run like hell if he ever had to go along the bottom end of the hallway, and would actively avoid that part of the house; for example, there was a wee WC beside the toy room, also at the bottom of the hallway, but instead of using that he’d go out the other door, through the living room and run all the way upstairs.

After a few goes or so of piling and unpiling I asked him what was up. He pointed out and up (to the hall ceiling) and whispered, ‘Naughty Lady.’ DS didn’t say a great deal back then, to the point the HV had wondered at his check-up if he maybe had delayed speech. He wasn’t old enough to know about ghosts. I told him he might be seeing shadows, not to worry, there was no one there but us.

Then, a few days before Christmas I was kneeling in front of him, buttoning his coat, doing up his boots by the front door. I glanced up. He was frozen and his chin was wobbling. He was looking past me, along the bottom corridor, over my shoulder. His pupils were enormous. He didn’t respond when I spoke, just looked up, as if someone very tall had arrived and was standing above and behind me. I couldn’t look; I had the overwhelming feeling that if I did, I’d see. Or, maybe worse, I wouldn’t see anything at all, but whatever it was would see me looking.

We went out and we didn’t go home until my husband was finished work😂

I obviously didn’t say anything to DS, but I told my friend. She laughed, and came to visit at Christmas, and brought some holy water, which she sprinkled about on the QT. She also did some praying. I know some people will say this is the sign of a credulous mind, but I just wanted someone else to tell me if they felt anything was off (of course, DH scoffed). She said if there was anything untoward going on, the best thing to do was to keep ignoring it and it would stop, that the more you think about these things, the more you see.

There were no slamming or breakages, the only disturbance was in DS, who started to come into our room at night. He’d been sleeping happily in his own bedroom all night for nearly two years at that time, but he would come in quickly and quietly, close the door behind him and get in beside me. No crying, no talking. He’d just get in beside me and lie there silently. That did spook me, but he would just go to sleep after a while and that was that.

Months passed, DS kept doing the toy-piling, door-close routine, but he also got more verbal, and one day he told me something about ‘the back door.’
We didn’t have a back door and so didn’t ever refer to one (we lived in what was once the servant’s quarters of a Scots Baronial mansion, like a sort of two story flat, with only one route in and out, unless you wanted to climb out of, or in, a high level window into our garden) What he meant was the kitchen door, which had originally been the back door to the house, and which now led to a kitchen extension.

On the last morning, I walked into the toy-room and was met with a smell of carbolic, like someone had just washed their hands with it. We don’t use carbolic but my dad used to, it’s a powerful, unmistakable smell. When I smelt that soap I said out loud what I’d been thinking for a while - ‘that’s enough, leave him alone, he’s mine.’
I really meant it - I remember being angry rather than scared.

That was the last thing that happened. Later had DD in that house as a baby and toddler and she was very much afraid of nothing at all, and happily wandered around at night in the dark.

TL;DR.
Children might be able to see what we’ve learned not to. So for that reason, OP, I would say YANBU at all.

Elfidela1980 · 27/01/2023 00:27

romdowa · 26/01/2023 21:05

Our cat was killed on the road and for weeks after we would hear meowing, little paws running around up stairs and the spring door stops would just randomly make a noise as if they had been swotted. It was clear that dkitty was hanging around but he soon moved on xx

Awww, I wish I hadn’t read this, this is quite heartbreaking ❤️‍🩹

RoseBucket · 27/01/2023 00:31

Y’all need to download the ghost SLS apps on your phone (the posters with ghosts) 👻

moonwitchmum · 27/01/2023 00:41

I don’t know why I read stuff like this before trying to sleep. I’m so interested in it but it really shits me up. I don’t think YABU OP!

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 27/01/2023 01:44

@Workinghardeveryday This is very similar to the experience I had growing up in our (fairly modern) family home. However, things suddenly changed and graduated to becoming genuinely scary and causing physical harm. We really couldn't wait to move out. I often wonder if the new owners had trouble. It was up for sale recently when I was looking for a house and my dad made me promise not to go to view it.

I now live in a Georgian house and only occasionally have issues, it's like people are just passing through. I've not yet physically seen anyone here, just heard them, smelt them and felt their presence. My DD is around the age I was when I started seeing/speaking to the ghosts in my old house, luckily there's no sign of her doing the same. I'd prefer her not to have to be affected by it like I was.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 27/01/2023 01:55

Definitely 👻

SmartPony · 27/01/2023 02:06

Oh wow! Thank you for sharing your stories!

Just to clear up - I KNOW the cross imprint sounds dramatic, but it really was there! Old rightmove picture shows a cross hanging on the wall, so when it was removed - the sun had faded a mark on the wallpaper around the cross.

And stairs - we’ve converted the loft space and had stairs put in.

Alarm clock being a dream? Well I could dismiss it like that? But it was more than a dream. It was being woken suddenly by a loud beeping noise - and then not being able to find the source of the noise. It was right by my ear - central to our double bed. Rightmove picture showed previous twin beds with a table and an alarm clock placed centrally.

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 27/01/2023 02:36

Patineur · 26/01/2023 23:35

One morning I woke to the sound of an alarm clock. Which stopped as I woke. Desperately searched bed for phone/clock. Nothing there.

That is what we call a "dream", OP.

A dream, or something quite common that is somewhat alarmingly known as exploding head syndrome - a sensation of being woken by a loud noise.

Re the Savernake Forest thing - the voice that growled “don’t speak that name here” when she said “Jesus Christ you have got to be kidding me” is straight out of Amityville style horror movies.

LemonSwan · 27/01/2023 03:27

Happened in our house. I thought I was going mad so didn’t mention it to my mum until early 20s. She didn’t even blink or look up. Just nonchalantly oh yes the man. I didn’t know you saw him. He moved on a long time ago now.

😬

Thankfully was a friendly ghost!

Debtknell · 27/01/2023 05:37

KettrickenSmiled · 26/01/2023 23:01

imprint of a cross that used to hang on our bedroom wall.

Come now OP, that should have tipped you the wink & had you running away screaming before the estate agents got their paws on your cash. It's spookier than a spooky thing spooking ScoobyDoo into trembling in Shaggy's arms.

It’s absolutely normal for elderly Catholics like my parents! Accessorised with the papal blessing of their marriage in 1970 and a Sacred Heart statue!

Cozytoesandtoast00 · 27/01/2023 06:30

I've had a couple of experiences of things potentially moving but they could have been rationally explained away.
The experience that I cannot explain happended in my grandad house. He had died a good few years ago and my sister was playing with a dictaphone.
We re-played it back and a voice which sounded like my grandad (particular accent) called out my sister's name. A deep inhale in and very clear deep voice.
I played it to my house mates and they were terrified!
I was about 18 at the time. I kick myself for having lost the tape.

SmartPony · 27/01/2023 07:09

@KimberleyClark

Hmm, just read about exploding head syndrome! It only over happened once to me, and the sound was definitely the repeated bleep of an alarm clock. I woke up looking for a clock, and then rationalised by thinking it must be my phone (even though it doesn’t make that sound). And it was a sound to my left.

I guess the rational answer is an auditory hallucination. But then I saw the alarm clock on the right move pic…having had a few strange experiences already.

And nothing now, no feeling of weirdness, no further strange occurrences.

OP posts:
SmartPony · 27/01/2023 07:13

Right! I’m going to post a pic of the alarm clock as I don’t think it’s outing!!

To think we had a ghost?
OP posts:
Dogstar78 · 27/01/2023 07:32

My sisters house had a lady that walked the upstairs hallway, stairs and hallway downstairs. My sister has a big age gap between her children and sometimes nothing would happen for a long while. Each child spoke about seeing the lady. My sister would feel her in hallway and hear her crying. They would have things fly horizontally off the dresser, but it only happened a couple of times. About 10 years later I had my son. He too could see the lady, by the time he came along we hadn't spoken about it for years.

I saw my first ghost about 2 months ago. We were staying in a hotel. I kept waking in the night feeling like my hair was being pulled. I thought I trapped my hair under my partner's arm. It kept happening, but felt like someone was taking a section of my hair, twirling around their finger and then pulling. It felt really deliberate. I was definitely awake. There was a massive thunderstorm, which kept us both wake. I have night terrors and know the difference. I turned to see what was going on and saw a lady dressed in an Edwardian nurses outfit. She was tall and slim. The next day I googled the hotel and it was a big military hospital in WW1. I sent an email to the hotel about it....but they never replied.

Daffodilis · 27/01/2023 08:10

I had something going on in my house at one time, it got really annoying. A shadow figure kept appearing. I got so angry that I shouted at it that if it didn't fuck off I'd hunt it down in the after life when I passed over. It never came back. Maybe it was in my mind, maybe it wasn't, maybe my response was psychological, but it worked.

LadyFlumpalot · 27/01/2023 08:21

The PP who said "the old folks don't know they are dead" - have you all seen the film "The Others"?

Spoiler ahead (although it's an ancient film so not sure it's needed)

The entire premise is that the ghosts don't know they are dead and get really scared when the living move in, thinking that they are the ones who are ghosts. At the end of the film there is the line "more will come, sometimes we will sense then, sometimes we won't. Sometimes they'll sense us, sometimes they won't"

Coffeelattecuppa · 27/01/2023 08:30

I believe you.
We have had lots of strange things happen.
Clear as day someone in hallway near front door shout one of our names. Loud too. We thought we'd left door unlocked but hadn't, that was quite weird. Too many things to list. One night we had clear as day heavy footsteps all way up then safety gates crashing. Then a door opened. I went round house three times and couldn't sleep as thought someone broke in. Nothing. Things go missing. All kitchen cupboard doors have been open when we come down in a morn (not often maybe once a month). Our toddler used to point and talk to someone i couldn't see. He'd run up and hide his face in my legs and say I don't like that person. What can you do though? We just ignore it. We don't have cold spots like my mum's house did or cutlery flying off work surfaces. My friends used to not want to stay as they'd wake up in the night and see a man in my room (mine was the coldest). It was worse when we did renovations, so my mum (who is a bit woo) said to possible ghost, sorry but we have to do it. Then it all stopped.

ShakespearesBlister · 27/01/2023 12:52

LadyFlumpalot · 27/01/2023 08:21

The PP who said "the old folks don't know they are dead" - have you all seen the film "The Others"?

Spoiler ahead (although it's an ancient film so not sure it's needed)

The entire premise is that the ghosts don't know they are dead and get really scared when the living move in, thinking that they are the ones who are ghosts. At the end of the film there is the line "more will come, sometimes we will sense then, sometimes we won't. Sometimes they'll sense us, sometimes they won't"

I was gobsmacked at the twist in that film. Turned out her and her children were ghosts all along 😱

CombatBarbie · 27/01/2023 17:42

Op have you any way to find out if the wife is still alive?

KimberleyClark · 27/01/2023 18:28

Daffodilis · 27/01/2023 08:10

I had something going on in my house at one time, it got really annoying. A shadow figure kept appearing. I got so angry that I shouted at it that if it didn't fuck off I'd hunt it down in the after life when I passed over. It never came back. Maybe it was in my mind, maybe it wasn't, maybe my response was psychological, but it worked.

This sounds like hallucinations caused by infrasound (sounds too low for the human ear to hear). Apparently there is a specific frequency which causes your eyeballs to vibrate.

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