Judged by Waitrose

[Prioryfodder]

Waitrose would not let me buy alcohol because I was accompanied by my 15-year-old daughter. To explain, just before Christmas, I had bought a basket of groceries and two bottles of Malibu (actually destined for her older brothers Christmas stockings to make long island iced teas, but that's irrelevant IMO). She had briefly handled the bottles to put on the conveyor belt for me. We then waited some time for the cashier to clear. We were clearly together and frankly we are clearly mother and daughter. The cashier (rather smugly) said she would need ID from both of us to sell me the alcohol. I said I was 56 and she 15, but the alcohol was for me. She - and later her manager - asserted that we both had to be over 18, and to prove it. I asked if they would sell it to me if she left the shop. No. Would they sell it to me if she were 6-year-old? Yes, and I was ''not to be so silly'', said the cashier. My daughter feels she was judged as being an underaged drinker, and I feel judged to be a 'bad mother'. Vote: Yes, you are AIBU, you should never shop with your teenage child, you fool. YANBU, FFS at 56 you should be allowed to buy alcohol.
I am expecting a few cracks about buying Malibu and shopping at Waitrose. Please don't disappoint

She was 40! Why on earth would the staff member be fined? It's a nonsense.

(but probably didn't happen - I think some of the stories on here may be for effect, but it made me laugh)

Also, mystery shoppers have to look clearly under 25. My son did it for a short time.

Funny how when someone is refused sale of a legally controlled substance, where the harsher concequences fall on the person doing the selling, the seller/refuser is always smug, rude, snarky, bitchy........ Do people really think they're that important that someone who's never met them takes one look at them and decides to piss them off today for no other reason than they can, knowing the kind of backlash they're likely to attract for refusing a sale?

The rules around it are contradictory and ridiculous, and as someone who has to ask for ID/refuse sales I think that too, but that's not going to help me out in a disciplinary, or court, because I got caught not applying the law, the terms of the alcohol license that is granted or more likely, company policy.
You don't have to break the law to break the terms of an alcohol license, or company policy (based on that licence) and face the concequences - and so many people don't know or care to understand that before they start mouthing off when refused the sale of a restricted product, they can't get what they want and a tantrum ensues.
If concequences weren't so harsh for the people selling it, then they wouldn't be so careful about who they're selling it to and avoiding the more negative concequences of selling it with disciplinary action, sanctions or loss of alcohol license right up to legal action against them, against yet another mouthful from someone else they serve.

There are, you have to be 16. I don't know if it's a legal requirement or the shops just restrict it as policy, but you can't buy it without someone coming to check you look over, I assume, 25.

I hadn't realised that razors were age restricted either (Gillette Venus types). I won't try to buy them at a self-serve till again. I think in the past I've bought them at Superdrug from a human or as part of a bigger supermarket shop at a till with a human. I did wonder when I picked them up but it didn't say anywhere that they were age restricted. It should have something on the shelf to say that something has an age restriction.

It's absurd.

I suppose you have to leave your teens in the car if you want to buy booze. What utter nonsense.

The rules around it are contradictory and ridiculous

The rules are actually very clear. But they are badly and inconsistently implemented. That is what annoys people.

I have never come across this at all..... I tend to shop online (and have never bought malibu) however there have been plenty of occasions I have bought wine whilst my children are present - eldest is 13 now so maybe this will become a thing!

I did try to buy some sparklers in Tesco and asked about them at Customer Service, It was @ 11.30am and I was sternly told I was not permitted to buy sparklers until 12 noon...... I googled it assuming it was a random law I had never heard of (I am a solicitor so was genuinely interested) - seems it was a Tesco own rule! Perplexed as to reason but their loss, I didn't bother buying any.

OP, YANBU

it is entirely stupid (although not the fault of the supermarket staff who have o implement it) because there's no guidance regarding when to implement it in relation to the age of the child. As she said 6 is "silly" (I would have complained about her calling you that tbh), but when is reasonable? If the child is 10?14? If there's no clear guidance and left up to individual discretion it verges on discrimination. I wonder if they would be equally likely to query a man in smart suit buying top shelf merlot and a bloke in tracksuit with tattoos buying carling if they were both accompanied by their 14 year old kids?

Your 15 year old was seen handling the bottles so the cashier had no choice other than to ask for id. For all they knew, it could have been a trading standards test purchase

No she wouldn't as no offence has been committed. Both customers were over 18 so the transaction was legal.

The law is quite clear on this. Shop policies go well beyond what is legally required.

I used to get the same 15 years ago when I was 15 shopping with my mum! My mum would be bloody fuming she couldn’t have the bottle she wanted from a big shop and have to settle with co-op wine on the way home while I waited in the car!
I worked at ASDA while at uni and was told if you have any suspicion it’s for the child you should ask for their ID. I never asked unless I heard someone say thanks for buying me this alcohol Mum, it felt like too vague an instruction to just go off your own suspicions. My managers were much less flippant than me though.

YABU the cashier could be charged and fine for selling that with your teenage daughter with you IF teenage daughter later takes some and gets caught drunk (or worse)

Just get your teenage daughter to walk off when you get to the till.

If you feel its insane. Campaign to get the law changed. Dont blame the people who literally could loose their job over following it.

Also as an x supermarket worker. No one is judging you. We don't get paid enough to judge you.

Malibu, in a Long Island Iced Tea?
That's unusual, thankfully it's not on my list of ingredients.

Even 17 Yr old cashiers used to have to call an older person over to put it through the till.

When I was 34, I went food shopping with my mum and my daughter, aged 2. Alongside a whole trolley full of food, I bought one of those tiny bottles of red wine for bolognese. They refused to sell it to me because I didn't have ID and then refused to sell it to my mum because I might be underage. I look ok for my age but I was very obviously over 25 and hadn't been ID'd for years previously.

Its like this in all supermarkets. I now send my teenage children to the car when I go to pay if there is alcohol there as otherwise they stop me from buying it.

I worded it badly, hands up 👐 they are contradictory and then they are misinterpreted by a large amount of people - including members of the public.

For example it's legal for you to give your 5 year old a bottle of gin at home, but it's illegal for you to buy it with that intention or for me to sell it to you if I know, or suspect, that is the intention. That's contradictory. It's legal to give it, but illegal to buy/sell it when that's the intention.

Or if the person served was 18 the law wasn't broken so people would think it's all good - but if the challenge policy the retailer uses is challenge 25 (and a challenge policy is mandatory and challenge 25 is considered best practice) and the cashier doesn't apply the policy (or actually prove that they did) then the terms of the license have been broken, if not the law, and that puts the license at risk.

The law doesn't need to be broken to break the terms of the license, and that is the bit people struggle with because while no one would be arrested, the DPS stands to be fined and the license have sanctions applied to it, and the person selling it will then face the concequences for selling it. Retailers protect their alcohol licenses, they're expensive but they make a lot of money for the retailer and any sanctions over the basic ones required cost money and cause issues.

Company policies are largely written around the terms of the license and the need to protect it, and the fact that you are tested regularly to ensure you are sticking to the terms of the license and the law, both with inspections (for want of a better word) on your policies and the proof you have showing you use them and with sending in people anonymously to test the policies when you're unaware.
I have been caught out by this, you normally don't even know someone has been in unless you do something wrong, I took too long to remove an alcoholic drink from someone who had it bought by someone else (the young person never approached the bar) and they had drank a fair amount before I clocked it, went over and asked for ID and then removed the drink. It can be as simple as that.

It's an absolutely stupid rule and is the reason I don't bother shopping at my local Sainsbury's anymore after too many times being refused alcohol because my 12 year old was with me. It's the only supermarket I've had issues with around here.

Not quite as stupid as the woman in front of me in B&m who wasn't allowed to buy a cutlery set because she had her teenager with her though 😂.

Used to happen to me when I shopped with my teens. I sent them outside when I went to pay.

Eddie from Bottom shops there and that Waitrose has a time travel portal connected to the 80s.

I was buying a bottle of Prosecco with my 22 year old daughter , she had no id on her , they refused to sell it to me .

Snitch

The point I and others have made is not that the cashier couldn't correctly age the 40 year old but when I did bar work it was constantly drummed into us that if you ask for ID and they don't have it, you can't serve them and that includes people they are with.

But why would you ask a 40yo for ID in the first place?! The 19yo - whom it was reasonable to ask - did have ID.

I think there could be some quite serious unintended consequences to this, if you have people with young children being told that they effectively have to leave their children alone in the car (or hanging around outside a shop) in order to be allowed to buy alcohol.

Imagine the reaction if a 7yo child was abducted from outside a shop because their parent wanted to buy alcohol - for themselves. I know people will just say that people can live without alcohol (I do, through choice); but it's a perfectly common, legal product, so why shouldn't people who are old enough be allowed to freely buy and enjoy it? Can't drink alcohol if you have a small child, nor when you have a teen, nor when you have somebody who looks under 25 (and, it would seem from this thread, could be as old as 40) accompanying you, nor once you're grandparent age and you're out with your grandkids, until they are over 40.

If, as a country, we can't be realistic and sensible about a legal product, we may as well just ban it and be done with it. Then wait for the next tax increase to replace all the lost booze tax.