Judged by Waitrose

[Prioryfodder]

Waitrose would not let me buy alcohol because I was accompanied by my 15-year-old daughter. To explain, just before Christmas, I had bought a basket of groceries and two bottles of Malibu (actually destined for her older brothers Christmas stockings to make long island iced teas, but that's irrelevant IMO). She had briefly handled the bottles to put on the conveyor belt for me. We then waited some time for the cashier to clear. We were clearly together and frankly we are clearly mother and daughter. The cashier (rather smugly) said she would need ID from both of us to sell me the alcohol. I said I was 56 and she 15, but the alcohol was for me. She - and later her manager - asserted that we both had to be over 18, and to prove it. I asked if they would sell it to me if she left the shop. No. Would they sell it to me if she were 6-year-old? Yes, and I was ''not to be so silly'', said the cashier. My daughter feels she was judged as being an underaged drinker, and I feel judged to be a 'bad mother'. Vote: Yes, you are AIBU, you should never shop with your teenage child, you fool. YANBU, FFS at 56 you should be allowed to buy alcohol.
I am expecting a few cracks about buying Malibu and shopping at Waitrose. Please don't disappoint

Like others, I am preoccupied by the presence of Malibu in a Long Island iced Tea. That doesn't sound right at all.

I think the choice of booze is relevant. If you were buying a £12 bottle of wine, I don't think you'd have been stopped but Malibu is a starter drink and two bottles indicates a teen party is about to happen and your daughter has to bring Malibu and someone else is in charge of Archers and cider.

I agree it's standard policy. A few years ago I wasn't allowed to buy any wine because I was accompanied by one of my daughters. I think she was over 18 at the time but she didn't have any ID with her so couldn't prove it.

The problem is obviously that some adults, no doubt including some parents, will facilitate underage drinking.

Cashier, by any chance?!

But if she'd been a mystery shopper that staff member would have been fined and possibly sacked for going ahead with the transaction.

It’s ridiculous. I couldn’t buy a bottle opener in B&M because I had my then 12 year old with me and I might be buying it for her. It wasn’t even the sharp corkscrew type, just a ring bottle opener

A bottle opener? As in a ring with a small stub on the end of a stick, of the sort that you need to open a J20? Even if your 12yo were in the shop on her own, she should have been able to buy one.

What's the point in even running a shop if you don't understand how selling things to customers works?

Proof of id has never and will never stop underage drinking.

Oh thank god, I’ve had my road to Damascus moment and I’ll never consume alcohol before my 18th birthday.
Said no teen ever!

Used to work for one of the big 4 - we used to have to ask in this sort of situation if teenager had been the one to put it on the conveyor belt. I had whole queue join in abusing me for this one night (happy days). They changed the rules and we didn't have to assume proxy sale unless we specifically heard someone say something to that effect. It was a few years ago, but the consequences of getting it wrong were drilled into you (fine/criminal record/store losing license).

I work at Waitrose - this is incorrect process & training. You should complain as they need to be trained properly.

As long as it was really clear that you are both together, your daughter's age should not be a barrier to you buying alcohol

Seriously? You can’t tell whether someone is 40 or 17?!

Fined/sacked for selling alcohol to a 40 year old and a 19 year old?

But if she'd been a mystery shopper that staff member would have been fined and possibly sacked for going ahead with the transaction.

Of course she wouldn't have been. This is not a situation that might arise. No one is confusing a 40 year old for being under 18

No she wouldn’t! Its “challenge 25”. The under 25 had ID. The person clearly over 25 did not need ID under the policy. The cashier would have done nothing wrong in making the sale.

I reckon you can reasonably put Malibu in a Long Island Ice Tea to replace the rum. Malibu is only not called coconut rum because of the lower alcohol content. Maybe OP likes to get all of the Americas into their drinks?

There are no age restrictions on buying paracetamol though.

But if she'd been a mystery shopper that staff member would have been fined and possibly sacked for going ahead with the transaction.

How many 40yos genuinely look so unequivocally under 25 that it would be an instant sacking for somebody to not believe them to be U25? You'd also think that a proven 19yo addressing her as 'Mum' might also give you a bit of a clue.

I also agree on the 'smug' comment - just as you get some rude, nightmare customers trying to throw their weight around, you also get some power-hungry shop workers too, who maybe like to create a bit of drama. Simply working in a shop doesn't automatically indemnify her from potentially being a deliberately unpleasant person, of the sort you find in all jobs and all areas of society.

Supermarket once refused to sell my sister alcohol because she had her 6 and 1 year old with her.
Ridiculous you can’t go to the supermarket with you’re child regardless of their age like she was gonna give it to them! 😂Common sense needs to be acknowledged whilst ensuring they do their job.

The point I and others have made is not that the cashier couldn't correctly age the 40 year old but when I did bar work it was constantly drummed into us that if you ask for ID and they don't have it, you can't serve them and that includes people they are with.

I'm not giving a view on whether that's right but I'd rather piss off a customer who can go down the road or go home for their ID than risk a fine.

Tropical Long Island Iced Tea. It's a thing.

Not something I'd touch (even if I did still drink), having drunk a whole bottle of Malibu as teenager. Revolting.

And yes, I agree the shop rule is frustrating but now you know about it it's not really a big deal is it?

Oh she definitely knows whether the cashier did actually sneer or not - yes.

they don't want to lose their jobs so will quite rightly apply the rules. Incidentally I love Malibu 😂 if she needed to see your ID as well, it's 'think25' not 'think50' so you must look very young for your years 😅

Well what you've described in your OP won't be their actual policy, so it has been poorly handled by cashier and manager. In the circumstances you have described they should have challenged you absolutely but then they should have highlighted that it would be YOU breaking the law if you were purchasing to supply someone underage. It's a very different situation to one in which a group of similar aged people, probably youths are trying to do the same OR where the cashier has further reason to believe it is for someone underage. So either your OP didn't happen as you stated or they handled it wrongly.

Impossible for any of us internet warriors to know the truth though

So like what age can a child not be with you when you go to pay? And why is the assumption you're buying it for children? These seem silly and accusatory rules.

Does anyone else fancy a Malibu and coke now? 😄

I've yet to find a store that doesn't require age verification for paracetamol (I tend to use self scans) . Even if it's not law it's policy in most places.

Absolutely not 😆