Judged by Waitrose

[Prioryfodder]

Waitrose would not let me buy alcohol because I was accompanied by my 15-year-old daughter. To explain, just before Christmas, I had bought a basket of groceries and two bottles of Malibu (actually destined for her older brothers Christmas stockings to make long island iced teas, but that's irrelevant IMO). She had briefly handled the bottles to put on the conveyor belt for me. We then waited some time for the cashier to clear. We were clearly together and frankly we are clearly mother and daughter. The cashier (rather smugly) said she would need ID from both of us to sell me the alcohol. I said I was 56 and she 15, but the alcohol was for me. She - and later her manager - asserted that we both had to be over 18, and to prove it. I asked if they would sell it to me if she left the shop. No. Would they sell it to me if she were 6-year-old? Yes, and I was ''not to be so silly'', said the cashier. My daughter feels she was judged as being an underaged drinker, and I feel judged to be a 'bad mother'. Vote: Yes, you are AIBU, you should never shop with your teenage child, you fool. YANBU, FFS at 56 you should be allowed to buy alcohol.
I am expecting a few cracks about buying Malibu and shopping at Waitrose. Please don't disappoint

YANBU. There is no law saying that retailers in the UK must not sell alcohol to anyone with children.

There IS a law that says they must not knowingly sell alcohol if they know or suspect that it will be for the under 18, but that is it and it is up to the vendor's personal judgment. Must admit I didn't know that this was a policy in supermarkets, but then I dont drink.

I really doubt she gave a shit and was probably not even judging you as hard as MN is for putting Malibu in LIIT..

Its a stupid rule, unfortunately if they want to keep their jobs, its a stupid rule they have to apply and they may well have to follow their employers protocol, no matter how stupid we all think it is.

If you're buying alcohol, send the teenager off to faff about somewhere before you queue up to go through the checkout, meet them the other side once done.

What's ridiculous is that you are clearly over 18 and you are paying so they are nit supplying alcohol to an under 18. I had this us Waitrose, my 19 year old DD wanted to buy a lottery ticket, she didn't have id and he refused to serve her. I also wanted to buy a ticket but he refused me too as he says I was buying it for her! Stupid imo, we just bought it in a different shop!

The thing is, you can’t really ‘apply’ a rule that involves words like ‘if you suspect it’s for…’ or ‘if you suspect they’re underage…’ Who knows what you suspect? One of those secret shoppers comes in to try to entrap cashier… cashier defends self by saying they didn’t ‘suspect’ any such batshit nonsense… How can they be blamed?

I’m lucky not to have fallen foul of this one.. I’m a wheelchair user and often shop with teen ds in tow.. it means he generally handles all of my shopping and is often the one paying as well (tapping my card if I can’t reach the reader). I wonder if there’s an exception in my situation?

It’s because your dd handled the bottles. It’s ridiculous but it’s in their training.

Just out of interest, what would happen if it was a disabled parent who relied on their teenage child to help them put the shopping on the conveyer belt - or maybe one with a younger child who was occupying their attentions? I could understand if the teen was only touching the booze and whispering "My preciooouus", but what if they had been lifting all of the parent's shopping on to the belt?

This really is the perfect way to make alcohol into a big mystic taboo for teens - can't imagine that attracting them to try it at all, when they would otherwise have just been meh about mum's wine, mum's potatoes, mum's bread etc.....

Quite an uncanny x-post with MrsRinaDecker there!

My then-17 yr old couldn’t be w her 18 year old friend when she bought booze. Had to wait outside. Ridiculous.

YABVVVVU for putting Malibu in a Long Island iced tea. Not only is it wrong but it sounds awful!

It’s kind of weird that you care so much about what the cashier thought of you. They could not give a shit. They forgot about you the second you walked out. Unless you made a big scene, in which case they were laughing at you in the break room

This is what jumped out at me too.

I mean it's a stupid rule, but why do so many MNetters accuse cashiers of being 'smug', just because they're saying something they don't want to hear?

Still, at least she didn't 'shout', 'scream', or 'sneer' so that's something I suppose.

It’s ridiculous. I couldn’t buy a bottle opener in B&M because I had my then 12 year old with me and I might be buying it for her. It wasn’t even the sharp corkscrew type, just a ring bottle opener

My sister was shopping with her son, she was asked for ID she’s 40 she didn’t have any, said no problem my son does as he’s 19 and carries it. They wouldn’t sell it to him as it was for her. I get rules but seriously…

Contrariwise, what should she have written if the cashier did ask for ID in a rather smug manner?

She was there and we weren't so I'd guess she would know best.

Yabvu to be condoning Malibu in Long Island ice teas. That's all kinds of wrong! Fwiw having been a personal licence holder I never let my dc handle the alcohol on my shop or be the ones to scan on a self scanner. I agree it's daft that you can't buy alcohol in the presence of your dc though. That's not against the law or any guidelines but store staff do often misinterpret this and get a bit over zealous

If you are paying you DO NOT have to worry about teens helping carrying baskets/put on conveyer belt otherwise retailers would ban teens babies toddlers walking down the alcohol aisle they cannot assume by law you are making a proxy purchase unless as I've said you are seen and heard saying I've got you're Malibu for Friday night

I understand that a bit more - that's what the proxy sales guidance IS meant to catch.

But not when a 40 year old dad is buying some beers for the football match that evening (not gender stereotyping at all here :) ) and his 15 (or 5) year old dd happens to be with him.

It's because your dc touched it I guess. I never let my dc handle alcohol in a supermarket as I've heard that they will refuse to sell.

that wins the thread :)

@Stuckinarut79 and that cashier would be absolutely correct as the first person didn't have ID the second person who did would be proxy buying it's so hard to age someone in a 3 second transaction that's why the policy is in place, to be fair it's more hard on us as inconvenient as it is

It is only illegal to give under 5's booze. 5-18's can drink in their home legally if it is given by their parents.

Not that you would but that is the legal cutoff.

This thread really is an eye-opener.

I am in my 50s and have never been prevented from buying alcohol due to having a teenager with me (including putting said beverages on the conveyor belt). I regularly shop at Waitrose, but it's the same in the others too (Tesco, Sainsburys, Aldi). It's completely bizarre.

Happened to me in Morrisons. Ridiculous rule. Totally impractical.

I was asked for ID once and I just said Really!!. The driver let it go as the only ID I need is to show whether I am eligible for pensioner discounts or not.

I don't think you can just assume that someone's not committing a criminal offence because "surely no one would do anything so stupid".

I mean you'd assume that nobody in public office would be stupid enough to take their seatbelt off in a moving car, film a video and then publish it to the world with their name on it. And yet...