Judged by Waitrose

[Prioryfodder]

Waitrose would not let me buy alcohol because I was accompanied by my 15-year-old daughter. To explain, just before Christmas, I had bought a basket of groceries and two bottles of Malibu (actually destined for her older brothers Christmas stockings to make long island iced teas, but that's irrelevant IMO). She had briefly handled the bottles to put on the conveyor belt for me. We then waited some time for the cashier to clear. We were clearly together and frankly we are clearly mother and daughter. The cashier (rather smugly) said she would need ID from both of us to sell me the alcohol. I said I was 56 and she 15, but the alcohol was for me. She - and later her manager - asserted that we both had to be over 18, and to prove it. I asked if they would sell it to me if she left the shop. No. Would they sell it to me if she were 6-year-old? Yes, and I was ''not to be so silly'', said the cashier. My daughter feels she was judged as being an underaged drinker, and I feel judged to be a 'bad mother'. Vote: Yes, you are AIBU, you should never shop with your teenage child, you fool. YANBU, FFS at 56 you should be allowed to buy alcohol.
I am expecting a few cracks about buying Malibu and shopping at Waitrose. Please don't disappoint

I explained I was paying but the cashier said she was within her rights to call the police because I was attempting to pay for alcohol for someone underage. She called her manager over and we were told to leave and not to come back as they didn't allow 'criminal activity' in their shop.

If that's how they phrased it - not just saying that, for all they can know, you could be doing that, but that you are doing it, that sounds like slander to me. Imagine if you'd kicked off accusing the cashier of having done some random crime that she could have attempted to commit (as could anybody).

Sounds like a very sensible approach!

Someone I had [recently] taught maths to for three years asked me for ID to pick up a click and collect parcel in WR last year (in the same name) - even said 'Hi Miss Arseni' when I got to the front of the queue. I thought it was quite funny.

@MotherofBingo I totally understand that and that's why we stayed and didn't storm out and 'kick off' like DD father wanted to (he's a bit of a twat) but it did spoil the evening. We did still leave a tip and a nice review. . I was criticising the law like many others have on this thread not the server/venue.

That’s ridiculous I mostly have my teenage DD with me at the supermarket and have purchased everything from beer to alcopops and never once been questioned!! When did this become a thing!?

Whatever you paid for the 3 courses definitely wouldn't touch the £10,000 fine that the server would have to pay

yes but only if a court decided that the server should have objectively realised that someone was 17 or under. In this case the poster's daughter was 22 so there would have been no fine as there was no offence.

This happened to me in Morrisons years ago. I went in with my brother who was 16 at the time (he’s much younger than me) and they wouldn’t let me have my gin because he was with me so I left him at the door outside and went back in for it. Madness.

It's an actual offence for them to sell alcohol to under 18s

Sure it is, but unless OP's daughter went to pay for it with her own money/card, it's not DD buying it. Ridiculous jobsworthyness, even if imposed on shops by regulators, rather than the shops being arsey.

I should say - I obviously knew you needed ID in a pub if you were at a bar. I'd just not seen people asked for it when eating in a restaurant-like context.

Superdrug wouldn't let me buy false nails for 14 yo Dd the other week because of the glue that comes with them. I've never bought them before so had no idea. Dd was outraged 🤣 I was glad because I don't like them anyway😁

Do these shops go outside and check around the car park and around all the corners for potentially-associated underage people before allowing an adult to buy alcohol?

If not, the current law/application does sound a bit like the equivalent of forcing would-be burglars to break through a cardboard padlock and being thus content that you've got your top-notch security all sorted.

Oh they were both very adamant that I was committing a crime, and saying so loudly enough for the whole shop to hear, too. That's why we were so embarrassed. DD was in tears by the time we left.

DD would occasionally have a glass of fizz with us at Christmas/birthdays etc (she's in her 20s now and doesn't drink at all) - but I can absolutely guarantee that if I had been buying her alcohol, it wouldn't have been a can of whatever cloudy dishwatery real ale DH was into at the time!

DD was buying alcohol at the Co-op. The cashier was the mother of a friend. She's known DD all her life. She asked DD for proof of ID because, as she said "I can't say I thought you looked over 25 because I know for a fact your 23rd birthday was six weeks ago - so you have to show me proof you're over 18."

(DD had her driving licence, so it wasn't a problem.)

Yes under 18s. Not under 25s. Or 40 year olds who happen to look very youthful.

And it's not imposed on shops by regulators, they are making up their policies themselves.

Can we all please bare in mind that there are test purchases all the time to make sure cashiers are selling within the law, along with this is a personal fine possible dismissal etc they are not out to ruin your shopping experience so if a cashier is ultra cautious do please understand why! I'd love to be ID ....😂😂😂however if you are the adult paying there should absolutely be no refusal unless you've been heard and seen with the teen saying do you want Malibu or vodka.....that's a proxy sale

This sort of thing really bugs me because I hate things that don’t make sense. Clearly, as pp have said, this ‘rule’ (that seems to vary wildly from shop to shop) will prevent precisely 0% of proxy sales because people who are trying to buy for underage teens won’t do it with the underage teen in tow. It’s one of those stupid box-ticking rules that achieves nothing.

If someone wants to buy for an underage teen, they can. Easily.

I’ve had this happen in the Co Op before, and it’s completely ridiculous. This only impacts parents genuinely trying to buy alcohol for themselves. Anyone buying alcohol for an underage drinker would just get them to wait outside the shop whilst they made the purchase.

The cashier (rather smugly) said she would need ID from both of us to sell me the alcohol.

Smugly - really?!! I doubt she cared. Just doesn't want to lose her job. Fair enough.

It’s because your dd handled the bottles. It’s ridiculous but it’s in their training. The cashier could be personally fined if you buy alcohol for your dd which unfortunately some parents do and they have training to show them what to look out for.

This is utterly ridiculous. I would complain, personally. It makes no sense on any practical level.

I can believe the ‘smugly’ bit! Some people live for this stuff.

It happened to us in coop. Apparently you are not allowed to drink now if you have teenagers.

But they see it every day? They really care?

Might be outing myself here but this happened with me and my mum over 15 years ago - DM had a complete tantrum over it: "as if I'd give her a nice bottle of wine" 😂

Sounds like this cashier wanted to refuse. Anyone with an ounce of sense can see that OP’s situation wasn’t anything like a proxy sale, so cashier wasn’t obliged to pull this shit. Jeez, even if the daughter ‘handled the bottle’ - who’s to say the cashier even saw that or could be shown to have seen it if this ridiculous scenario came under legal scrutiny?

How tedious of them