Judged by Waitrose

[Prioryfodder]

Waitrose would not let me buy alcohol because I was accompanied by my 15-year-old daughter. To explain, just before Christmas, I had bought a basket of groceries and two bottles of Malibu (actually destined for her older brothers Christmas stockings to make long island iced teas, but that's irrelevant IMO). She had briefly handled the bottles to put on the conveyor belt for me. We then waited some time for the cashier to clear. We were clearly together and frankly we are clearly mother and daughter. The cashier (rather smugly) said she would need ID from both of us to sell me the alcohol. I said I was 56 and she 15, but the alcohol was for me. She - and later her manager - asserted that we both had to be over 18, and to prove it. I asked if they would sell it to me if she left the shop. No. Would they sell it to me if she were 6-year-old? Yes, and I was ''not to be so silly'', said the cashier. My daughter feels she was judged as being an underaged drinker, and I feel judged to be a 'bad mother'. Vote: Yes, you are AIBU, you should never shop with your teenage child, you fool. YANBU, FFS at 56 you should be allowed to buy alcohol.
I am expecting a few cracks about buying Malibu and shopping at Waitrose. Please don't disappoint

This happened to me when I was 32 in Morrisons.

I was with a same age friend and my other half. They were both served fine ahead of me, we were celarly all together. I was refused as not clearly being over 21. The only id I had on me was my staff card for the University I work at. That wasn't accepted. So I asked my oh (in his late 40s) to pay for me. 'No, we won't serve him as we know he is buying for you and could be supplying a minor.'

In retrospect I wish the other two had asked to return their purchases on the spot in the spirit of ensuring they didn't supply a minor. Oddly enough the manager didn't suggest that level of consistency... 🙄

I can see why that wouldn’t be accepted. I had a credit card at 17 because I was an additional cardholder on DHs account (he wasn’t DH then).

I think thr question is do people really buy their kids Malibu for Xmas..😃

They kind of do make the rules up as they go along.

I had the same argument over paracetamol a few years ago. I was buying it for DD (20, looked younger) but I wasn't allowed to buy it in case I have it to her.
Even though I pointed out she was the one with the headache and paracetamol can be taken by children - it says so on the packet.
Sainsburys.

Yes.

I bought DS (18) nice vodka & sloe gin (and a cocktail making syrup and a cocktail book) for Christmas. He likes making cocktails. In an average week he probably has 2-3 alcoholic drinks and not all in the same night so don't consider it an issue.

This is clearly one of those scenarios where only the innocent are ever going to be thwarted. Anybody genuinely buying alcohol for their teenager is going to know they're breaking the law (even though, as has been said, it isn't illegal even for a FIVE-year-old to drink booze at home), so they will obviously go in alone and/or tell the teen to wait outside. Adults buying alcohol for themselves and/or other adults are not going to think of doing this - as people who are not trying to break the law don't usually think ahead and plot how they can get away with not breaking the law.

This is a perfect illustration of where an adult buying booze for themselves will be refused, because their teen happens to be with them; but a parent with a young child whom they give alcohol will be fine. We were once at a party where there was a 9yo drinking WKDs that his parents had given to him. Their 'explanation' was that "Oh, it just calms him down". So that must be alright, then.... And I doubt he's the only young child in the world allowed to drink by appalling parents.

Incidentally, is this just for alcohol or cigarettes? What about if an adult was buying a sharp kitchen knife (legally over 18s only - some shops even arbitrarily extend it to things like teaspoons!) and was accompanied by a teenager - would that sale be refused as well, on the assumption that the teenager was presumably planning to go and shank somebody in the park?

The person paying if they looked under 25, should be ID
,not in youre case,there was no assumption that you were going to ply you're DD with Malibu, however if she was the one buying then the cashier would need to ID her they were in the wrong I do this alll dayyyyy longgggg btw

I work in a supermarket (not waitrose) and we are told not to worry if its an adult with their own kids and the alcohol is clearly for them. So an adult buying a bottle of wine with a 6 year old in tow is fine. An adult asking a 16 year old what they want and then trying to buy it is not fine. They must have had some reason to think it was for your daughter. Maybe because it was Malibu....

Had something similar going for a meal after DD graduation - she is 22, her brothers are 24 and 26. She ordered a glass of wine but waitress said she needed ID as she looked under 25. Of course it was the day DD had left her bag and purse at home as we had gone straight from the graduation ceremony to the pub!

Seemed ridiculous - they couldn't accept a photo of her passport either as the photo" may have been doctored". We didn't make a fuss as the venue was technically correct but it marred what should have been a nice celebration - her brothers and I also stuck to lime and soda in solidarity! So the celebration was spoiled, the venue lost out on revenue from a few drinks and we only had main courses rather than the planned 3 course meal and coffees!

I once did a £100 Grocery shop with my then 8 year old (Inc 2 bottles of wine)
They did the same to me!
I said firstly why would I bother with a huge shop just to cover buying my child alcohol?? & secondly we all know no one likes wine until well into their 20s! 🤣
If I was guna buy him booze it would be bottles of fruit cider or WKD 😅

Still refused me, so I left the shopping on the belt & walked out. Yes, I'm petty like that!

I’m clearly haggard looking enough for our Amazon drivers…I’ve never been asked for ID by them…. 😂

Ha ha! My son couldn't buy energy drinks in Tesco when he was 16 because they wouldn't accept his sixth form college card as proof of age. You had to be at least 16 to go there and it had his photo and date of birth.

(although actually I was quite pleased he couldn't buy energy drinks - but it's not really down to Tesco to decide :) )

Makes you wonder why some shops even bother to stock over-18 restricted goods in the first place, when they clearly don't want to sell them - even when it's clear that no law is being broken and it's just their own little petty quirks.

The trouble is the council will occasionally send in test buyers to check if the staff are carrying out ID checks, if they know other stores are being checked or they recently failed one then they might also be a bit stricter on the rules as well. And yes it does also apply to cigarettes.

SIL sends my husband a bottle of something every year for his birthday and he gets asked for ID. He is in his 50s, Clearly quite haggard looking... 😂

I said firstly why would I bother with a huge shop just to cover buying my child alcohol??

Especially when you could so easily have just left him in the car anyway. Not necessarily suggesting that you should have done that, but I guess if you were the kind of parent to buy booze for your 8yo, I doubt you'd think twice about doing that.

This happened to me once too. I was in my late 20's and was shopping with a colleague, who was 19, in our lunch break. Unfortunately, my colleague didn't have any ID on her so i wasn't allowed to buy my wine. The wine wasn't for her.

This happened when I was in Home Bargains with DD when she was 15. We unpacked the basket onto the conveyor belt together and there was a can of beer for DH among the pile of stuff we were buying. Unfortunately DD, not me, put the beer on the belt. When they asked for her ID I was so confused! If course she didn't have any - I explained I was paying but the cashier said she was within her rights to call the police because I was attempting to pay for alcohol for someone underage. She called her manager over and we were told to leave and not to come back as they didn't allow 'criminal activity' in their shop.

I've never been so embarrassed in my life - both me and DD were really upset.

I posted about it here at the time and the verdict was I was BU as the cashier was only doing her job!

Had something similar going for a meal after DD graduation - she is 22, her brothers are 24 and 26. She ordered a glass of wine but waitress said she needed ID as she looked under 25

That's interesting. We went out for a pub meal last year with my mum and my son (19) ordered a half of cider. Not asked for ID though clearly under 25. I actually thought the rules were different in pubs until I was in Pizza Express last week and saw someone show their passport because she'd ordered a glass of wine.

But surely a mum (or anyone) buying alcohol for her 15 year old wouldn’t generally be thick enough to take said daughter along with her? This rule doesn’t prevent proxy sales at all.

the cashier said she was within her rights to call the police because I was attempting to pay for alcohol for someone underage. She called her manager over and we were told to leave and not to come back as they didn't allow 'criminal activity' in their shop

I'd have just laughed. So would the police!

While that's really unfortunate about the celebration it's genuinely not the staffs fault and the company would rather miss out on a bit of revenue than potentially lose their licence and have to pay out huge fines. Whatever you paid for the 3 courses definitely wouldn't touch the £10,000 fine that the server would have to pay.

This happened to my dh and dd in the local Co-Op….when she was over 18 but didn’t have ID on her!
My dh told her to go to the car and wait but the cashier said no they can’t sell it still.
So he said well you’ve just lost a customer and he’s never been in there since. That was 2 years ago.

Is it actually the law? I mean obviously it’s the law to sell alcohol to under 18’s but I mean is the actual a law to not be able to sell it to a parent with a teen?
in fact, it can’t be….because the OP’s cashier said she could sell it to a parent of a 6 yr old.

So they’re making it up as they go along.
Until they’re almost 16 most kids don’t have ID. So unless parents take their kids birth certificates out every time they pop to the shop, they’re not going to have ID.
It’s a world gone crazy!

Why wouldn't they?