Judged by Waitrose

[Prioryfodder]

Waitrose would not let me buy alcohol because I was accompanied by my 15-year-old daughter. To explain, just before Christmas, I had bought a basket of groceries and two bottles of Malibu (actually destined for her older brothers Christmas stockings to make long island iced teas, but that's irrelevant IMO). She had briefly handled the bottles to put on the conveyor belt for me. We then waited some time for the cashier to clear. We were clearly together and frankly we are clearly mother and daughter. The cashier (rather smugly) said she would need ID from both of us to sell me the alcohol. I said I was 56 and she 15, but the alcohol was for me. She - and later her manager - asserted that we both had to be over 18, and to prove it. I asked if they would sell it to me if she left the shop. No. Would they sell it to me if she were 6-year-old? Yes, and I was ''not to be so silly'', said the cashier. My daughter feels she was judged as being an underaged drinker, and I feel judged to be a 'bad mother'. Vote: Yes, you are AIBU, you should never shop with your teenage child, you fool. YANBU, FFS at 56 you should be allowed to buy alcohol.
I am expecting a few cracks about buying Malibu and shopping at Waitrose. Please don't disappoint

I had this in Waitrose about a year ago - was a rather nice bottle of Malbec. DS is/was tall but at that point his voice hadn’t broken. Cashier refused to sell me the wine but when I asked to see the supervisor she allowed the sale. I was full on middle class ridiculous woman but I really didn’t think anyone could imagine a teen was into fine wine (ie over a tenner).
Nothing happened the year in Sainsbury’s before when I bought a small amount of cider for DD’s 16th birthday party with her in tow.
Trouble is that I often take DS to the supermarket to help me carry the shopping wine home 😆

Blimey! I've been shopping with my teen son a dozen times, need him to help me carry the bags home! Nobody has ever commented, bu I guess I was usually buying wine, not Malibu. I can see the intention of the rule but there's no logic really. I like having my son with me, we can talk about what he likes, prices, offers, recipes etc. Lucky he turns 18 next month but doesn't usually carry his ID 🤔

The cashier can use their discretion though , and apply common sense.
a few years ago I had a bad accident and sent a couple of the dcs ( aged at the time 18 and 15 ) to do the weekly shop. It included medicinal red wine for me.
When they got to the checkout the 18yo produced his id, and was asked for id for his sibling, who understandably didn’t have any. You can’t have the red wine then said the cashier.
My mum will kill me if i go home without it, she has a broken leg was his response ( bit of an exaggeration!) cashier looked at the shop - vast quantities of cat food, loo roll, etc etc and put it all through.

I stopped working in a supermarket 12 years ago and they were doing this. Where I worked cashiers were taught to look for things like adults buying alcohol or cigarettes for underage people and not to sell it if they suspected it was the case. Thankfully not in my store, but others failed test purchases based on this scenario, which jeopardised not just the store’s licence but those across the estate. I think our BWS sales were between 12 and 15% of the store takings and profitable, which food generally isn’t, so they were very mindful of keeping the licence.
It sucks when you’re refused, but it sucks even more to be at risk of losing your job and being personally prosecuted if you misread a situation and make a sale when you shouldn’t. It’s also crap when someone is refused and as a manager you stand by your cashier and then get yelled at, belittled or threatened with dirty needles, knives or being r@ped on your way home - all of which were threats levelled at me.

How tempting, when stopped from buying your booze with an 18 year old, would it be to say ‘oh that’s not for him, the 6 year old and I were having this after dinner’

I had to get approval yesterday in Sainsbury's cos I was buying 2 packs of paracetamol....... THAT was annoying and a product I actually needed unlike alcohol that noone needs..

my takeaway from this is that it is ok to buy alcohol from Waitrose for my 6 year old!

I had this bullshit with Waitrose a few months ago...ended up finding an equivalent product elsewhere for half the price so at least it worked in my favour.

It is embarrassing though, and ridiculous...my daughter was actually 18 at the time but we hadn't expected to do any shopping and she had no ID on her.

I always get ID’d when out. If I’m with someone and we’re buying alcohol, I just let them buy the alcohol whilst I wait at the exit, or go to a different till and buy my share of things (sans alcohol) to prevent getting ID’d. No one bats an eyelid. I am of legal age but I only tend to carry my phone when out, forever leaving ID at home.

This is so stupid. If someone really was buying the alcohol for an under-age person, the under-age person would probably be waiting outside the shop, not standing with them at the till.

Also, surely the shop only gets into trouble if it sells the alcohol directly to the under-age person. They have no control of alcohol once it has been sold, so if it’s an adult buying it, they are not breaking any rules and it’s not up to them to guess what the adult is going to do with it after buying it.

No sadly not. I am an x supermarket worker its a flawed piece of law. Just not the cashiers fault she is doing her job and not judging. Just avoiding a personal fine (yes really poasible) a personal employment record (very poasible) and as a thank you you get an annoyed customer.

Its perfectly acceptable to have your teenager with you while shopping and have alcohol on your shopping list at the SAME TIME so YANBU. It happens.

But....supermarkets are just ultra careful now. 8 years ago I nipped into Sainsburys in a train station on the way home for a bottle of Moet as my (44 year old) sister had just passed her driving test. I was 31 and was IDed. My only ID then was my passport which I didn't carry on me. To add insult to injury two (apparently) 18 year olds next to me bought alcopops and weren't IDed. When I pointed this out to my cashier he said that was the decision of their cashier not his and he or the other cashier couldn't go back on a decision once made. The other cashier refused to ask them for ID and allowed them to leave with their 2 big bottles of blue wkd while my Moet (and a bloody "congratulations" card) were put behind the counter. I find its a lack of common sense with some and probably fear from management warnings make them make bad calls. Its inconvenient but I like to think sometimes it works and might save a few drunken teenagers hanging about/getting into danger cause they are out their face. Also I took it as a compliment that I looked under 25 to ask for ID in the first place 🤣 pros and cons!

I work in a liquor store and it’s up to our discretion. I had a man tear into me recently for not selling to him because he was CLEARLY buying for his teenage son, to the point that it felt disrespectful to us. They were loudly talking about what he’s had before, what he likes, etc, and just generally being shitty about it all.

But we do often have teenagers come in and if their parents aren’t obviously buying for them, I don’t make a big thing of it.

The drinking age here is 21, not that it matters.

It's your own fault for making her put in the belt. The member of staff then has to ascertain if its for you or them. Legally.

PS: Malibu is NOT an ingredient in Long Island Iced Tea!

Also, surely the shop only gets into trouble if it sells the alcohol directly to the under-age person.

Not true. I've had plenty of training on this. You can be prosecuted personally, the company sued and lose your job.

Asda doesn't
I do the scan and go thing
Never beeps at the till for Calpol/Paracetamol
But it does for Ibuprofen, I have to wait for them to come press the button

it happens,
it hasnt happened to me
i guess you could just go to another shop and leave your dc outside

Tbh that's her own fault then. No ID no alcohol - simple.

YANBU. This is bonkers!!

It is annoying, but like a lot of things, easier for the shop to take a risk minimisation approach even if that means inconveniencing the odd shopper with teens.

At least it gives you the opportunity to look up a long island iced tea and buy the proper ingredients for it.

I had literally no idea that supermarkets do this!

Well I honestly didn't know this was a rule! But then I do click and collect so my teenagers aren't with me. Is it just alcopops? Would wine have been OK? Finally a post where I've learned something useful 👌 🤣 (jk)

I bought some wine this evening with my 7 year old in tow ..... no problem. Will take the 11 year old next time and then build up to the excitement of the 13 year old and report back on success / failure.

I have been pulled up on Paracetamol before! My husband tested positive for covid on the eve of Christmas Eve a couple of Christmas's ago. Not knowing how unwell he would feel in addition to realising there was a good chance that myself and possibly all three children may also go down with it over the Christmas period I popped to Tesco to stock up on lemsip, calpol etc sufficient for two adults and 3 children should we all be unwell for Christmas.

I was pulled up on the quantity (limit is relatively small it seems).

I was questioned extensively in Boots for wanting Cocodomol, I know they have a duty to ask certain questions and inform you of risks but this went too far. I left, went to another pharmacy, I don’t go to Boots anymore - no big loss. I do think Customer Service has gone down the toilet since covid, shitty attitude from staff is becoming common place and why should they care, working on min wage and plenty of jobs to move on to. I know there’s two sides but up with it I will not put. I even got shitty attitude from staff at First Direct - I had to ask her was she ok as she was going across in a very aggressive manner - apparently I was at fault because I was confusing her - I was confused myself hence needing to make the phone call and then I got told off for making the call - I should’ve used the app. Ffs it’s not A&E you shouldn’t have to think carefully and exhaust all other options before calling and using up the precious resources at your bank.