Judged by Waitrose

[Prioryfodder]

Waitrose would not let me buy alcohol because I was accompanied by my 15-year-old daughter. To explain, just before Christmas, I had bought a basket of groceries and two bottles of Malibu (actually destined for her older brothers Christmas stockings to make long island iced teas, but that's irrelevant IMO). She had briefly handled the bottles to put on the conveyor belt for me. We then waited some time for the cashier to clear. We were clearly together and frankly we are clearly mother and daughter. The cashier (rather smugly) said she would need ID from both of us to sell me the alcohol. I said I was 56 and she 15, but the alcohol was for me. She - and later her manager - asserted that we both had to be over 18, and to prove it. I asked if they would sell it to me if she left the shop. No. Would they sell it to me if she were 6-year-old? Yes, and I was ''not to be so silly'', said the cashier. My daughter feels she was judged as being an underaged drinker, and I feel judged to be a 'bad mother'. Vote: Yes, you are AIBU, you should never shop with your teenage child, you fool. YANBU, FFS at 56 you should be allowed to buy alcohol.
I am expecting a few cracks about buying Malibu and shopping at Waitrose. Please don't disappoint

🤣🤣 good point there..... 🧐

However this question was asked during my licencing course to get my personal licence and the answer was basically if the 'officer' (be that police/licencing) decides that any 'reasonable' person would not believe that the person was over 18, but you did, then you'll basically be told that you're wrong and not responsible enough to sell alcohol if you can't tell someone over 18 from under 18.
I suppose you could contest it in the case of not adhering to the licence conditions by using challenge 21/5 or whatever and they were seeking to add conditions to the licence or remove that/a personal licence and the person served proved to be over 18 so the law wasn't broken, but I think it'd be a different story if you tried and the person was under 18 and the law had been broken but you tried to argue that you'd genuinely believed they were old enough.

This is part of the issue that makes people selling it cautious, potential criminal convictions, fines (up to £20k) and company disciplinary action for not even making a mistake but for misjudging someone's age - and anything from snarky comments about how power hungry you are (makes me laugh every time I read that about shop staff/bar staff being power hungry 😂) to threats and abuse if you ask them to prove it.

And then someone else can come along and say "Well actually I don't think they look 21/25 at all and you should have ID'd them and you've broken the terms of the alcohol license so here's your concequences, even though you were over 18 and you haven't actually broken the law".

Some concequences for using your 'common sense' huh?

As an aside, there was a story published a couple of years ago about a guy who had his licence removed for not being a 'proper and responsible person' because he'd shared/posted memes and jokes about (I think) domestic abuse and things derogatory towards women - no conditions of the licence or laws pertaining to alcohol broken - but his conduct was called into question and his licence removed.

I'm going to be fuming if the day comes when I'm not sold wine because my 6ft1 15 year old happens to be with me. How annoying op.

Please tell me you flounced. I absolutely would have.

Malibu and coke reminds me of when I was 16. Sorry if I missed the point of the post

i didn’t know this rule, sounds strange but as a cashier I wouldn’t risk my job not asking.

I had this happen when DD was with me years ago as she did not have ID with her so I was not allowed to buy alcohol
I was mightily amused recently when DD, now aged 32 and with 2 babies of her own, was refused wine at Lidl as no ID

@MotherofBingo What bollocks you spout! It's perfectly legal for 16 & 17 year olds to drink wine or beer with a meal in the company of adults. Absolutely no need for the Challenge 25 rule at all.

Well I just went to a well known supermarket with my 20 year old son, I was holding the bottle of alcohol and went to pay, my son had my purse with my cash in and handed it to me. The staff member came over and said she couldn’t sell me the alcohol as my son had handed me the cash. I explained he is 20 and that I scanned the bottle and was purchasing it but they still wouldn’t allow. He then went to wait in the car and I went to then buy the bottle on my own, the staff had obviously been watching me as they came over and still refused to sell me it even though my son wasn’t with me.

Your son literally handed you the cash . How do you imagine that looks?

It is a silly rule but it is a rule and it’s not being judgmental.

It is completely against our companys licencing policy on alcohol so in the restaurant I work in, no minors are not permitted to drink or be served alcohol and we would face severe consequences if we were found to be serving them. The police send round test purchasers to ensure we are following the rules of our licence.

My personal in Tesco last year was beyond wacky. DP and I weren't living together yet, and before he went home after the weekend he took me to get a small shop at Tesco. We each had our own basket of shopping of a few items, he got 2 cans of cider in his. I had no alcohol, or anything that would require ID, just normal food shop. We went to self service and used separate tills, though they were next to each other. A lad asked him "are you with that girl" he said yes and he continued "I'll need to see her ID", without even asking me? Still irks me lol because;

>We were using separate tills
>We were paying separately
>I at no point touched his alcohol
>He got asked for my ID, for his ciders, but not for his ID
>I am 32, he is 35

I do look a bit younger but that whole exchange was very silly. I can only assume a security camera flagged us both in the alcohol aisle and thought perhaps something dodgy was happening.

I've heard of this before but it's utterly ridiculous. Where's the cut off? Can you buy alcohol while shopping with a 12 year old? An 8 year old? A 2 year old? Does this mean single working parents can't ever buy alcohol without leaving their child home alone or outside the shop??

Actually joking aside re Aldi I've just realised I bought a bottle of Bailey's as part of a large shop while with my 16 year old and she actually put the bottle on the checkout. No request for ID.

Wind your neck in

Had this problem before with my 24 year old daughter who ONLY had her personal alcohol licence as I.d. 🙄 she looks very young but she's 24. As she'd put alcohol on conveyor she was asked for I.d. ..personal alcohol licence didnt cut it..even though I was there. Was refused sale. Kind of ironic as she runs a bar and refuses kids alcohol every night. Hey ho 🤷‍♂️ guess it's better than them being slack and my 15yr olds getting booze bit annoying nonetheless

I would call that divine intervention for trying to make long island ice tea with malibu.

Years ago Asda refused to sell me a DVD.. because ds took it from the trolley and put it on the checkout.. he was 6.. the dvd was a 15. They refused to sell me the dvd as he’d picked it up and put it there.. even though I was the one paying for the dvd. He would not have been watching the dvd.. they refused to sell it to me though..
I was furious.. I put my shopping in the car and back through a different checkout to buy the dvd. The checkout person who refused to sell me the dvd still smirks at me when I go in now.. I’m sure they were being awkward that day..

It is ridiculous. I would have left the basket.

Has happened to my mum before with my sister who was actually mid 20s at the time just no idea.

Full trolley shop. In Waitrose.

She walked out.

When I worked in Tesco 15 years ago they used to make us do this. If someone had a teenager with them they wouldn’t allow us to serve alcohol without their ID even if the parents was paying and was in their 50s doing a weekly shop. It was so embarrassing for all concerned.

Totally had no idea this was a thing. I don’t drink so never been an issue mostly. But I did used to shop for my late father who regularly had a case of beer in his order. My DD10 would often come with me and it was never an issue. But I’m guessing 10 doesn’t look suspicious and neither does beer. There was one occasion though that after I put my shopping through the self serve til and was verified for alcohol and paid, my DD then put some sweets through to pay with her pocket money on her card and The same staff member came and shouted at me that I was committing a crime by allowing my child you ‘pay’ for the alcohol in my trolley. She didn’t. This person hadn’t seen me pay for my shopping separately and saw my DD tapping a card on the card reader and assumed I was letting her tap for my shopping. Once I realised what I was being shouted at for (in front of other customers so it was embarrassing slightly) I explained it wasn’t illegal for a 10 year old to buy sweets with her own card!! The till attendant apologised as she mis interpreted and hadn’t seen me pay after she verified my age as she went to help someone else and had turned to see my DD tapping the reader.

It hadn’t even dawned on me though that it would be against the law for me to be buying alcohol and then to give my child the card to tap. I can see now that it could break the law and I usually send my DD to a different roll to put her items through away from me. I don’t need to buy alcohol now though so less of an issued since my father passed. But o would buy it as a gift.

😂

If they had any reason to suspect you were buying it for her then yes they have to refuse to sell it. However a family shop it's pretty much certain it's for not for your teenager

@SiobhanSharpe the ‘rules are rules’ mantra is for the employee. I think it’s a bit daft but there are people who buy for kids by proxy and it’s the poor cashier that can be prosecuted for not knowing and there are ‘mystery’ shoppers sent out to ensure this is enforced. It’s seem stupid to the likes of you and I when we know we aren’t buying it for our kids but then we don’t have to accept the responsibility of punishment if caught, they can be fined and could lose their job. I don’t get why people are unwilling to see that and seem to think that someone should ignore the regulations of a job because it’s a stupid rule they didn’t even make up.

The thing is, it's not illegal for under 18s to drink alcohol at home, but it's illegal for them to buy it. Also, it is illegal for adults to buy alcohol for under 18s, even though it's not illegal for under 18s to drink alcohol at home, or with a meal in a restaurant. It's completely stupid and makes no sense, and all it takes is a pedantic cashier to suspect you're buying booze for your kids and you get tangled up in the contradictory nonsense.

www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/alcohol-and-the-law/the-law-on-alcohol-and-under-18s

This is all news to me
Quite shocked
So I checked licensing laws
Its the person ‘paying’ for the alcohol that has to be over 18

Waitrose don’t seem to publish anything on the subject, you would think if their rules were contrary to Govn ones they’d at least publish it.

So
YANBU
Id make a complaint . It would be interesting to see what they say