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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No offence but...

59 replies

Millana · 26/01/2023 06:59

If someone says "no offence but you remind me of (famous person)", they don't think it's a compliment do they?

Someone said that to me yesterday. I think the person they compared me to is fab so will take it as a compliment but I don't think it was meant that way?

I've not said who on purpose as I wanted general thoughts.

OP posts:
DonnaTellMeThis · 26/01/2023 07:02

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

GoodChat · 26/01/2023 07:03

"No offence but" means I'm about to be unkind and you're not allowed to get offended because I warned you.

Neededanewuserhandle · 26/01/2023 07:04

Was it Hitler?

Player001 · 26/01/2023 07:05

Urgh, I can't stand it when someone starts a sentence with 'no offence but' or 'I'm sorry but'. Absolutely you meant offence and you are not sorry otherwise you wouldn't have started that way.

OP, without being there or knowing who the celeb in question is I can't tell you what the inference was but the best thing you can do is choose to accept it as a compliment that way you'll give it no more headspace than it needs.

Motnight · 26/01/2023 07:07

In my opinion when someone starts a sentence with 'No offence but...' 9 times out of 10 they are about to deliberately e spectacularly rude!

ThreeblackCats · 26/01/2023 07:09

I guess it depends who they compared you to.

if they said “no offence but you remind me of Linda Lucardi” I’d not take offence but I’d understand why they were guarded as some people could be offended at being compared a page 3 girl.

if they said “no offence but you remind me of Bill Bailey” because they found you clever, funny a better dancer than you look and talented musically, I’d understand that but if they meant I was in charge of a balding mullet and too much facial hair then I’d be offended.

you need to give context. But “no offence but…” is usually offensive.

watchfulwishes · 26/01/2023 07:11

I think it could mean 'no offence but I'm.going to make a personal remark that is socially unacceptable but I'm a bad mannered and self-centred twat' rather than automatically assuming it means 'no offence but I'm wanting to offend you'.

It depends who the celebrity is I guess and if the speaker likes them.

If someone said that to me I think I'd ask them what they want me to take from the comparison. I like putting people on the spot.

MadamYouAreAdam · 26/01/2023 07:12

Neededanewuserhandle · 26/01/2023 07:04

Was it Hitler?

LMAO
Usually anyone who starts with "No offence" or "please don't be offended" is a manipulative little so and so who's about to say something offensive but it's your fault if you're offended.

watchfulwishes · 26/01/2023 07:13

Linda Lusardi?!? Flashback

Original poster
Millana · 26/01/2023 07:18

Yeah, that's what I thought.

As I say, I think the person is fab so will take it as a compliment, whether or not it was meant that way. I don't see thr comparison though.

God. I'm getting so many insults recently.

Whenever I hear someone say "I'm sorry but..." I just roll my eyes and think uncharitable thoughts about that person. 🤣

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 26/01/2023 07:19

Neededanewuserhandle · 26/01/2023 07:04

Was it Hitler?

😂

JudgeRudy · 26/01/2023 07:22

Millana · 26/01/2023 07:18

Yeah, that's what I thought.

As I say, I think the person is fab so will take it as a compliment, whether or not it was meant that way. I don't see thr comparison though.

God. I'm getting so many insults recently.

Whenever I hear someone say "I'm sorry but..." I just roll my eyes and think uncharitable thoughts about that person. 🤣

We wanna know who it is. I'm gonna go with a female comedian Dawn French? Sarah Millican? Miranda? I'd be fine with those.
Mrs Trunchball not so much

mumof3now2 · 26/01/2023 07:29

One of DHs friend once said to me 'no offense but you remind me of Jo brand' (for context I'm on the bigger side and she was trying to bang DH)... I was like no offense taken she's fucking fabulous!

Original poster
Millana · 26/01/2023 07:36

It was Helena Bohan Carter. I know she is generally loved on MN so didn't want that to skew the responses.

It was the "no offence" bit that showed the person's intention I think, not HBC.

OP posts:
MysteryBelle · 26/01/2023 07:50

Definitely a compliment. They may have said no offense because HBC is older than you are and they didn’t want you to think they’re saying you’re same age, only in resemblance. Or her sometimes wacky wardrobe. But she is very beautiful so yes, absolutely a compliment.

Deathbyfluffy · 26/01/2023 07:52

My latest was John Candy - I love Uncle Buck so didn’t take it the way the other person hoped I would!
Currently in the process of cutting said person from my life - they clearly meant it to be offensive, and life’s too short.

Original poster
Millana · 26/01/2023 07:55

I don't look anything like her and my dress sense is boring so I really don't see the comparison.

As I say though, I'm going to take it as a compliment whether it was meant that way or not.

OP posts:
Original poster
Millana · 26/01/2023 07:56

You are worth too much to have people in your life who are mean @Deathbyfluffy

OP posts:
postwarbulge · 26/01/2023 07:58

"Don't take this personally but f**k off!"

trainer3 · 26/01/2023 08:02

With any sentences that start like that, always ignore everything up to and including the but

Devoutspoken · 26/01/2023 08:04

Just say thanks, she's beautiful

Notwellatall · 26/01/2023 08:08

Strangely enough I just saw a recent photo of her yesterday and couldn't believe how beautiful her skin was, like porcelain. So there you are OP, you have perfect skin!

Workawayxx · 26/01/2023 08:10

Did the mean you look like her (def a compliment) or that you come across a bit ummm… eccentric? I think it’s generally a compliment but agree the “no offence…” bit is shit and means it wasn’t necessarily intended as a compliment.

when I was a 15 yr old girl someone said I looked like the footballer Steve Bruce 🙄🙄.

Runningoncoffeealone · 26/01/2023 08:11

I'd say it's a compliment as she's both beautiful and talented. However, if she meant it as in breaking out of Azkaban whilst cackling manically then maybe not so much 😉

JoyPeaceHealthz · 26/01/2023 08:13

GoodChat · 26/01/2023 07:03

"No offence but" means I'm about to be unkind and you're not allowed to get offended because I warned you.

This. Now, I'd put my hand up 🖐
Can I stop you right there.
🛑

Years ago I did hear a few insults prefaced with this.