I have a 5 year old son, I split up with his dad when he was 1 year old. He's supposed to take him 50/50 so 3 or 4 nights a week and he used to, but ever since he got a new girlfriend about 1.5 years ago he's been taking him less and less. I've probably taken our son at least an extra 50 nights over that time, whether it's because his dad has a cold, "feels dizzy" or is just "too stressed" plus his mum died last year and he used that for a while as a reason to barely see our son, because he was upset about his mum, or going to visit her when she was in hospital and didn't want to take our son etc. I was nice about it for a while but now Ive had enough and feel like he's taking the piss.
I moved house a couple of months ago and now I'm a bit further away from where he lives, it used to be only 2 mins drive/10 min walk, now its about a 10 minute drive or 40 minute walk. He drives and I don't so usually he would pick up our son and drop him off. Our son is severely autistic and its a nightmare taking him on buses and really stressful. Now ive moved he says he doesnt want to drive here to bring him back in the mornings and so i have to get the bus and go collect our son for 730am as he starts work at 8. I don't want to do that as it is just too stressful with the risk of my son having a meltdown on the bus. So for the last 2 months he's only been taking our son 2 nights a week as I tell him to bring him back the night before. He says since that's "my choice" he doesn't have to pay me child support. But its not really my choice, I would actually love more time to myself to get a proper night's sleep! But with the way my son is its just too difficult to take him on the bus in the morning. I want to learn to drive myself so I can just drive to collect him but I don't have the free time or money.
He was meant to have him last night but didn't because his girlfriend has covid, and he won't even tell me when he's taking him next.
He also will never do the same for me, even if I'm really ill or injured he would not take our son an extra night to help me, once i hurt my back and couldnt even stand up i had to just crawl around and he wouldnt take our son an extra night. but I'm expected to take our son whenever he wants and if I complain he gets angry and acts like I'm being nasty for no reason, if I get upset and cry he says I'm faking it and calls me a narcissist.
He also is nearly always late when he does take our son and never apologises or explains why, but the times I've been to collect our son he will keep texting me making sure I'm going to be exactly on time (which I always am).