To ask how I can keep us safe?

[rolc]

My home was broken into 1.5 years ago and I was assaulted. The perpetrator is still unknown, he was masked and wearing gloves.

In the months following that I had someone enter my garden on multiple occasions and stickers placed in my garden.

Since July I have been receiving calls from an unknown number. It's a man who's voice I don't recognise. He knows my name. Sometimes he just breathes down the phone, sometimes he says sexual things.

I don't answer the calls anymore.

Contacted the police and they tracked the caller, they told me he is known to police and considered "not a very nice person at all". They said I can either do nothing or they can send him a letter.

Since this I have moved in with my parents. I live alone with DS.

I want to move home. What can I do to keep us safe in terms of cameras, lights etc. Any suggestions?

AIBU to go back home or do you think I should move house permanently? It will be really difficult for me to day so.

I think you need to move, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

do you know this man, how does he have your phone number?

What do you mean, at least read the op. Irs right there. Good lord.

Sorry OP this sounds awful. I’d call the Suzy Lamplugh trust for advice and support.

I’d start with motion sensor lights front and back, and CCTV coverage too. Change your mobile number, and get rid of your landline phone.
You shouldn’t have to move home.

I would start with

police ask if they can put in a panic button or alarm and to make any calls from your number or address a priority

some really good cctv and make it clear with signs on your house that you have it and it’s monitored - you can get these signs from Amazon for a few quid. .

Get a ring door bell as well you can link it to Alexa and Alexa will tell you anytime anyone approaches your doorbell -

you could do the same at the back of your house as well with a ring doorbell or camera . - it’s what I have along with 4 other professional cctv - long story - crazy neighbor

see about getting a good alarm with a link to a control center that rings the police if the alarm goes off and you don’t answer the call.

some alarms have panic fobs that you can push and it will set the alarm off

it you have an alarm get a box put both inside and outside the house
the noise of a pro alarm box going off inside a house is deafening .

if you have a back gate put bolts at the bottom and the middle - this stops people being able to open the gate with ease

chicken wire or razor wire on your side of the fence / wall if high enough

motion sensor lights front and back

Change your numbers and be very careful on who you give them to
lock down all your social media and if possible your kids as well .

if you get on well with your neighbors ask them just to be a bit more aware - say it’s an ex partner or work colleague

If you can get a dog.
burglars and intruder’s hate dogs as they are are an excellent deterrent even if they are as soppy as shit and won’t do anything

If the police have identified the person making the calls, surely they can do more than send them a letter. I would contact them again and explain that you have had to move out due to stalking and since they are refusing to take action you want to know what the next steps are to escalate your complaint. I would also contact your MP.

The way this is being dealt with (or not) is appalling, you deserve so much better.

I'd be concerned that the person who assaulted you is the same one that left stickers in your garden, and has been making the calls. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Honestly, I would move, I would never feel safe there with things still going on.

Gosh no wonder you’re terrified. I’m glad the police know who this person is. I’d stay with your parents for now and get some cameras up if not already, ring doorbell, ring security etc so there are recordings incase he found out you were there. Hopefully he won’t. I personally would have to move as I wouldn’t feel safe. This is a terrible thing that’s happened, my heart goes out to you

I'd get a coiple of Draffiesor Rotties. Sorry men are ruining your life. Ssome of them are pure trash.

Sounds terrifying no wonder you have moved out.

I would struggle to go back... will you ever feel Settled?

I would do Everything you can to move

OP lots of fantastic suggestions. I too would contact the police again and your local MP. Sensor lights and a ring doorbell. Police can give you blocks for you door (more effective than a chain) and can install a panic alarm. I personally wouldn't feel safe going back to that house, I know that'll pose some difficulties to you. Is this person known to you who has been making these phone calls? I'd be concerned he was the one who broke into your home and assaulted you and creeping about your garden leaving stickers. I'm truly agast that the police haven't helped much.

I would move but be very careful who you give information to. Sometimes people passing on out of misaligned good intentions or they pass it on without being aware of what they are doing.

I've read loads of times on here about someone with a family member that passes info to an ex mil for example.

I would kick up a right fuss with police, l had a serious issue with a neighbour over the back, police went round and arrested him, and he was remanded in custody until his trial. This is what they should be doing for you, women need to feel safe in their own homes, it's disgusting that they haven't dealt with it properly.

Is it not possible for OP to block the number, maybe if number is withheld? Or not possible to block all numbers if withheld?

Would you consider getting a dog?

Someone up thread suggested this and I wonder if you would feel safer?

Spot lights, reasonably cheap and lights coming on at different times (wilko have random light timers)

I understand why you may want to move

The police need to be doing more

Have victim support helped at all?

Could BT change tour number, for free, in light of police investigation

So sorry this is happening to you. I would absolutely move house. I'd never feel safe there.

If you do move though get cctv, motion sensor lighting, house alarm etc. Also change ur number asap. I'd stay with ur parents for a while before moving just to make sure the calls etc stop.

Why are the police not
doing anything?

Why isn’t this being treated as harassment? What part of the country do you live? I had an estranged relative phoning obsessively and turning up at my door and they followed up on that. I don’t understand why they aren’t doing anything to help you.
Definately get motion activated cameras and lights all around your house and a burglar alarm. I’m sorry you are going through all of this, it sounds like hell.

Assume the cold caller is nothing to do with whoever assaulted OP years ago (completely different person, doesnt' even know about it). And nothing to link the garden intruder with the silent caller, either.

Is it a crime to ring someone silently & breathe down the phone at them?

Not sure it's a crime to do that. Maybe Why police might not be able to act.

"Is it a crime to ring someone silently & breathe down the phone at them?"

Yes.

I would also get a dog. I feel so much safer if I’m at home alone overnight with my dog. He’s only a small dog but he makes an absolute racket if someone comes to the door or if there’s so much as a rustle in the garden.