Graduate DD not qualifying for job seekers. The buck stops with us

[drivinmecrazy]

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

I think you need to stop getting your information about benefit claimants from the Daily Mail. For instance, if you don't turn up for an interview you're sanctioned. If you don't accept training, you're sanctioned. If your claim lasts a few months and you don't apply for recommended jobs, your sanctioned. It's soul crushing for claimants and job coaches alike.

I don't understand why your dd is getting a hard time on here op. She definitely would be entitled to some UC, it won't be loads because she's under 25 and still living at home but it will enable her to buy food for herself, transport to job interviews etc, her mobile phone bill and yes, the odd treat like going out with her friends etc.

the caveat is that she will be assigned a work coach - who may be able to help her get a job quicker - and will be expected to prove that she is searching for a job. Otherwise she will be dependent on you.

Problem is some people on here think that those on benefits aren't allowed anything nice and must simply live on bread and water.

@snowlolo Actually, we live in a rural area. If DD had come home after graduating there were fewer opportunities than where she lived.

We suggested she stayed there in that city for that very reason.

And she ended up working for an international company headquartered in the city.

That was after a few months serving in a cafe and a basic admin role in the international company.

And anywhere rural will have employment of some kind. The OP will live near a supermarket, a garage, a pub, a coffee shop. Families need babysitters, dog walkers, cleaners.

So please stop implying these options do not exist.

Yes, I think so - it was at the time a very small company - it's a bit bigger now, but still a small independent. I became very good friends with the people who ran it and got a really wide range of experience - everything from proofing and editing to organising events, marketing, press, sales, comms, drawing up AIs, etc. - and I'd met people working in all kinds of roles and in loads of different companies.

I ended up moving into another related industry but that was also via the same lot of connections, and even now most of my contracts (I am freelance) come, ultimately, from those same original contacts.

@hobbi It's not the Daily Mail so stop trying to be offensive.
I have worked with people seeking work. I know how they manage to fail sometimes and it's often calculated.

You literally just said that you think young people will play the system. I didn't draw any "out there" conclusion. Those were your own words. In what way is it not how you think? Are you having some communication breakdown between your brain and your keyboard?

I have a literature degree and earn about £55K not in London or Southern England because I went into another sector.

I know another woman with the same degree, same uni, who has been chronically unemployed and on benefits since graduation. She even did a post grad, which I didn't.

Her issue is she only wants to work in writing / publishing, so does ad-hoc, badly paid, freelance work.

People need to accept that having a degree in literature or history etc can be applied to a wide range of jobs. You can write on the side and still pay your bills. It's not a hobby.

I'm in my 40s, and in my day it was normal for graduates to take any old job while the applied for the ones that fitted their long term goals.

I did it, DH did it, most of our friends temped in various NMW jobs for a while. The only people I knew who didn't were ones who went straight into a specific industry having done a fairly specific degree (and in those cases, they usually got the job off the back of a sandwich year in industry).

I had no choice as I didn’t have parents to live with, or who could support me. But it never occurred to me to look at benefits as anything other than a last resort!

I appreciate that the world of work is competitive, but it hasn't been easy to walk into a graduate role at any point in the last 20 years. It has never been normal to just do nothing until you get your dream job.

@AIBUYESYES Who said opportunities don't exist?

Not everyone can get something straight away, the moment they are out of uni.

I said that people should be supported whilst they are looking for work. Most major government parties appear to agree with that to some extent, even the Tories, so my opinion can't be that out there.

There is no need to use 'literally' when you mean something was said.

Maybe you need to engage your brain to communicate when using the keyboard.

I'm not trying to be offensive. You took offence at my statement that you are out of date by about 25 years with regards to how the benefit system works. You're especially wrong about UC.

It's not all or nothing though, the beauty of freelancing/remote is that it can be done on top of your full time job (especially if your full time job is also remote which means more "downtime" during the work day - be careful this is reasonable and doesn't get to the level of "time theft" though). I did that at first and eventually moved to full time freelancing. Now I earn more than I did at my previous well paid job in London.

I'm agreeing with rumship, in case that's not clear!

Life involves working for a living, in whatever job you can get, unless you are incapable of doing so. Being a graduate doesn't exempt someone from that.

@BloodAndFire thanks for replying, really interesting. Quality over quantity in a sense

People need to accept that having a degree in literature or history etc can be applied to a wide range of jobs.

Yes - I'm a humanities graduate working in a financial/law related specialism. Humanities degrees confer lots of useful skills, it's just a question of making the most of them.

I think you and she have failed to understand how the system works or how long it is likely to take to get from leaving uni to the job she wants.

She should have either, stayed put with the job she had and sought appropriate accomodation and then saved.. or...

Come home, immediately applied for the correct benefits, and started searching for ANY job she could reasonably do..

And at the same time, looked for ideal job, done stuff that would help towards either ideal job or freelance work (building up a portfolio of whatever it is she does).

Few will want a freelance copywriter with no track record at all (what stopped her doing this whilst still at Uni?), and no specialist knowledge or long experience of general knowledge. Nor do they want one who can't bash out 800 words on xyz done in abc style in two days time - and you need experience for that, and a reputation for being able to do that.

Equally no ones going to hire her to work in publishing in any exciting role straight out of uni...she would need to start at the bottom of the heap making tea and dealing with admin, and that certainly isn't going to happen living in the rural arse of nowhere.

Whats done is done - get the UC claim sorted, get her using her time productively to look for better, build up a body of useful work, gain knowledge in areas she may be interested in and she can save up to move for a better job or better location that leads to better job in the meantime.

It's not as simple as "She should just get any job".

Well maybe it depends where you live, but my young adult DC and their friends are picking and choosing between jobs because there are so many opportunities available.

DD started a job requiring DBS and 2 sets of interview within 3 weeks. DS applied for a retail job on Monday and started training on Saturday.

DS worked 3 shifts for a total of 24 hours a week which gave him plenty of time to apply for other jobs. And more money than UC.

It really is as simple as "just get any job".

I agree freelance work on the side is a good idea. I was offered freelance work based on my experience in my day job too. It gives a person more credibility and opens doors.

You're welcome.

It's worked out well for me on the whole - since leaving academia I have never been employed, always self-employed, and have spent 15 years or so doing mostly very interesting and worthwhile stuff. I do some very boring editing work on the side to ensure that I have some sort of reliable regular income in between proper projects. I don't earn loads but enough to stay in London (where I am from) and raise my children here.

It's not the route to great riches but it has so far, touch wood, been a pretty enjoyable and varied working life. And flexible with pregnancy/small children/etc.

So are you going to explain your thinking or not? Because right now it's looking like a pretty huge contradiction.

You are not obliged to support an adult in their 20s. You can just say no and she can claim housing benefit thru u c and live in a shared house. Or because you are nice parents you can decide to suport her at home and she can claim basic u c. It is your choice. The buck is your choice to take or not. If she has m h issues she might be able to get additional support such as healthy to work programmes if she spells this out on the u c form .

Dd has chronic health condition and is acessing a programme of support , local programmes vary who provides it

www.gov.uk/access-to-work

All very astute but I also think there is a bigger issue here which is that it's her mum posting on an internet forum to get this basic advice. She seems very dependent on her parents and passive. You're not going to get very far in a competitive industry up against super-driven, engaged, ambitious people if you're happy to sit around at your mum's house doing nothing and 'building up your art portfolio'.

Spanish seems like an actual useful skill that might help her to get a job, far more than all this generic copywriting bollocks.

Shame that “grace period” coincided with all the temporary jobs available over the build up to Christmas and the New Year when many businesses were looking for temporary staff, when she could have been making contacts with local businesses looking for support in the fields she wants to move into.

I don’t think you are doing her many favours by giving her a two , now three , month period of earning nothing, especially since you are now saying you are finding it hard to support her financially. She is 22, plenty old enough to start taking responsibility for contributing to the food on her plate and the roof over her head .

If she didn´t have you, she would be working in a bar or a shop in London, sharing a flat with 4 other people while applying for jobs. In fact, I think her mistake has been not doing that. She is going into a Very competitive world and it doesn´t look good from the employer´s perspective to see that she´s just at home waiting for the ideal job

If there are mental health issues, she may qualify for PIP or Employment Support Allowance. Like the post above mentions, access to work can offer help as well. In rural areas (mine anyway), there is a shortage of tutors so maybe GCSE, 11+ tutoring in relevant subjects maybe an option for her? You can be self employed and still get employment support allowance/ UC if complying with the rules of entitlement. Worth a look anyway. Citizens advice bureau and other community agencies can help with preparing for PIP application etc.