Graduate DD not qualifying for job seekers. The buck stops with us

[drivinmecrazy]

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

It's really hard to get into publishing - there's a lot of competition.

Has she checked out some ads for ideal jobs? Does she meet all the criteria? Is there anything else she could do to beef up her cv and make herself more attractive to employers?

If she's just applying for editorial jobs, get her to think more widely and apply for jobs in other departments too, like marketing, publicity, rights or sales, or even admin jobs. Once she's in and her face is known, it will be easier for her to move jobs.

Please don't let her apply for Universal Credit, she will end up feeling worse than ever before. She will be hounded by the job centre all of the time, will have to attend 1-2 times a week (alongside dregs of society - trust me those places are real eye openers and she'll be lumped in with those type of people)

Yes, it's disgraceful really. They should have separate, posh job centres for the middle classes, so they don't have to mix with the "dregs of society". And the unfairness of being expected to look for work, while getting paid by the taxpayer while waiting for your dream job in publishing or whatever, the indignity must be hard to bear.

You need to pop to M&S, @hot2trotter , try and find some pants that aren't judgey ones.

I work in publishing and I would say that publishers are increasingly flexing their capacity by using more freelancers rather than recruiting more staff. For small companies in particular it makes much more sense as it means you have higher capacity only when you need it. Can she try to get some freelance editorial work to sit alongside casual work? She could maybe do a proofreading course and then do bits for free at first to build up experience. A good freelancer will always be first in line if an in house job does open up! We have lost a lot of our good freelancers to full time jobs recently!

But I agree with others that it would be good to look at jobs in rights/publicity as well. Also she should consider getting some coding skills if she doesn’t have them already.

Fwiw if any young adults are needing a short term job then being able to drive will increase your employability in all sorts of sectors. I was browsing part time indeed for my 18 year old this morning (he does do his own searching and applying as well - which is why I don’t mind keeping an additional eye as job availability changes rapidly) & if he could drive there were a whole bunch of zero hours/pick your own hours - (what he wants) jobs available. He can’t but I do keep hammering home to him & his brother it’s a really employable skill.

(and on open/employer type insurances being under 25 doesn’t usually matter)

www.charityjob.co.uk/jobs?contracttype=full-time&contracttype=part-time&contracttype=permanent&workplace=on-site&workplace=hybrid&workplace=remote&maxsalary=50000

Have a look at jobs with information, communication or operations type roles because they're all transferable skills. Publishing is very hard to break into without contacts so I'd focus on building up solid work experience first.

Just come on to see all the responses.
Some really insightful posts that have given her food for thought.
To clarify, she is widening her net from the main publishers and not limiting herself to finding the perfect editorial or copywriting jobs.
She's looking at remote working and looking for opportunities to generally expand her CV in this area.
Her ideal would be to freelance in the future but it's difficult without any industry knowledge.
She's also applying for marketing roles which include a bit of content creation and social media marketing which she does have experience from her role at uni.
She worked for a bubble tea/coffee bar where she was team leader and took on much of their marketing.
Over the summer holidays she worked for the uni catering company covering their summer schools which was great for her languages also as many were South American.
DD is of the artistic, creative variety and has bought all her skills to her previous roles.
Point I'm making is she's not work shy nor is she precious about applying for local jobs to tide her over and that's where she finds herself now.
In the meantime she's been taking a coding course and is also passionately building up her portfolio of digital art and content but does not yet have the confidence to take that to the next step.
Her work has been seen by a couple of people she knows (parents of friends) who have been impressed by what they have seen.
So she hasn't, to be fair, been sitting on her delightful backside doing sweet FA.
Over the past week she has applied for several catering jobs so will see where she gets.
To be honest her ideal at the moment would be to get a job in a coffee shop to pay for her film developing and hopefully a high end printer so she can start to get her photography and art out there.
But if she could get an entry level job in the industry it would give her so much more knowledge about where and how she goes forward.
She's not looking to a future on benefits in any way, just to claim what she's entitled to.

Just to clarify, when i said she's shown some of her photography and digital art to friends parents, these parents work in advertising and digital media, not parents of friends that just like her art

Thats great she has applied for catering jobs, even though its not the same sector it reality is easier to get a job when you are in work, and a recent reference will be really useful. It's also worth applying for other roles within organisations she would like to work for eventually in her 'dream role'- shadowing and networking in that company whilst keeping a hand in the creative stuff elsewhere can be a good way as well. It's an exceptionally challenging role to land but not impossible, just have to think beyond applying for direct jobs online and working on a portfolio; this is what many other candidates are doing as well.

If she's got hospitality experience why on earth did you encourage a break before Christmas. Things are quieter now and the Christmas cover will have picked up available jobs.

She needs also to be looking at cleaning, retail, packing, care before claiming benefits.

I would encourage her to take a job locally part time so she has money but has time to create her portfolio for a career in her chosen field. Dsd graduated this past summer and finally started working in November, it does take time, but she's looking for graduate schemes starting next September for a career

Sorry OP, but your latest post really makes your daughter sound a bit spoilt and workshy. There is no way I could have sat around for three months playing on my camera and computer after I graduated. I am struggling with the fact that you encouraged a 22 year old to take a few months “off” (not that she was ever on) and then complain that you rather than the tax payer has to fund it. I am in my 50s now and I have had a little time out of the workforce here and there, but when I was voluntarily out of the workforce, I never expected tax payers to fund my choice.

And she is looking for WFH opportunities? Do you not think it might be better if she could drag herself off the sofa and find a job where she meets people and can better learn and network. I think WFH is dreadful for new entrants to the workforce, and any graduate who is serious about a career would be wanting to put themselves out there.

@drivinmecrazy Your update...

I hate to just repeat what others have said, but you do seem to be living in cloud cuckoo land regarding media jobs. Your daughter- it appears with your poor guidance- should not be aiming to freelance as a first job.

I have friends who are full time copywriters, mainly freelance. They are in their 50s and have had solid work experience first for many years (trained journalists or copywriting training.)

Your daughter sounds a bit directionless and also hampered by your lack of realism. If she really wants a job she ought to be putting in the hours. My DCs found that applying for grad jobs was a full time job in itself as the application process was time consuming.

If she wastes time trying to do photography she's not going to be fully applying herself to job-hunting.

Most grads I know do 2 things- they get a job in a cafe or supermarket to bring in some cash but they also spend a lot of time applying for the jobs they really want.

I don't know any who signed up for benefits.

One line of your recent post riled me. You said she just wanted what she was 'entitled' to. Her entitlement is another young grad's tax rise. She doesn't have to take what she can just because it's there.

Unfortunately there is a culture of entitlement among so many people now rather than getting off their bums and making their own way in life.

I think it's disgraceful that you are reluctant to feed her and put a roof over her head as you say you struggle to afford it .

yet surely she was at home from uni during the holidays - or living at uni and supporting herself.

You have partly created this situation as you don't seem to be living in the real world and also pandering to her unrealistic ideas (based on your own work experience, or lack of it, presumably.)

But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent

She would be, if she was. But she isn't, so she isn't.

April I don't know why you have the impression DD is work shy.
She's worked since she was 15 and worked through her degree often working 30 plus hours a week.
As for playing on her computer and fiddling with her camera, that's not what she's been primarily doing. She spent the time between coming home from uni in October until now applying for jobs relevant to the field she would ideally like to be in.
She's been 'fiddling' with the other stuff between finding employment and most of what she has been doing will be relevant to her in the future and will hopefully enhance her applications.
She is now looking for other employment while still applying for relevant roles and her creative stuff. One is not mutually exclusive

She's not looking to a future on benefits in any way, just to claim what she's entitled to

If she was entitled to it, she would have it. She isn't.

You really aren't helping her at all, you know.

If she’s seriously looking (by which you mean she’s out now, going into businesses and asking for work?..) then I imagine she’ll have something by the end of the week.

You do mean she’s actually up, out of the house, looking, yes?

AIBUYESYES apologies I thought I had previously said that she would ideally like to become freelance but needs experience before she gets there.
And obviously we feed and clothe her, pay for her phone etc.
Anyhow she got turned down for any benefits so it's a non issue for her.
But what if we couldn't do that for her, and she lived in an area with low employment opportunities (as we do) how would she manage?

You don’t know why I say she is workshy? Well it is because there is a huge shortage of workers at the moment, yet she has been at home looking for WFH opportunities in publishing and playing with her camera and computer for THREE MONTHS. Do you get it now?

I agree that you are not setting a good example of guiding your child very well. You are encouraging a sense of entitlement by complaining about taxpayers not funding her lifestyle choices and it is like you are also encouraging her to find a hobby rather than a job. Presumably marrying well is the ultimate goal. You do her no favours.

I used to work in publishing. OP i would encourage her to apply for jobs outside of London. There are a lot of publishers (magazines, newspspars, trade publications) based in other places, such as Bristol, that could help her get a start.
Sorry I can't answer your question about JSA but I think others have.

Where have I said she's only looking for wfh opportunities? Given where we live, at the end of an awful train line , wfh or hybrid is an option that would suit.
As it is she's been applying for jobs in London where she will barely break even when travel costs etc are taken into account BECAUSE she knows she need that experience before she gets to where she ideally wants to be.
And doing her no favours? While I am defending her here I can assure you she is not getting an easy ride at home.

Thankyou CohenTree. She's actually got the opportunity of a flatshare in a few months in Bristol so the goal is to move out of this area as soon as she's able to have access to more opportunities.

Doesn’t she need to be in London though to have much chance of getting the job she wants?

I think she should be getting on a train today, finding the cheapest London room she can, and then going round every company in the business she wants to be in asking for any work at all.