Keep being called posh at work

[Consciousuncouplings]

I've lived on and off in Manchester for a lot of my life but spent around 10 years of my childhood 20 miles away. I've been back in Manchester now for around 5 years, I don't really have the accent, it's quite a neutral one and it's hard to pinpoint exactly where from I think.
I work for a place in Manchester where a lot of the colleagues are from around that area or live close by, most have quite a broad accent.

I've been referred to as posh by them a few times, one the other day commented on 'my accent.'

I once said something and one said 'Oh I thought you'd be too posh to say that."

They're acting as though I speak like the Royal Family, far from it! I'm not posh in the slightest, and my accent is just very neutral, I spent some childhood in a market town about 20 miles away like I say.

I don't know why it bothers me really, but some people seem to associate you with thinking you're above others, snobby and so on and I'm none of those.
When they say it I just say 'no I'm not.'
Does anyone else get things like this and how do you deal with it?

I've lived in Wigan for 20+ years but my accent hasnt changed and I'm from Oxford, as you can imagine I've gone and continue to go through it at work (and even from DD DS who were born up north) if I had a pound for hearing 'you're not from round here are you' I just think it makes me different and if they dont like it then tough

Plenty of people are just fine with banter and all enjoy that sparring in a group. It's fine as long as everyone can give as good as they get and feel comfortable being on the receiving end too. Bullies might use that to excuse their behaviour but that doesn't mean that banter is always bullying.

I used to get this because my accent is not very strong. The irony is that I come from one of the roughest estates in my home town. BTW I am not posh in any shape or form, nor have I tried to hide where I come from.

Hey Apple! start a new thread in the ‘Relationships’ section - your post will get lost in the comments on this thread about accents and work colleagues!

You’ll get some good advise over on relationships.

I'm from one of the most deprived areas in the country, in the south. There were times we had to skip meals because we couldn't afford to eat.

I now live in the north and get called posh a lot - often (due to my line of work) from people who went to private school or at least grew up in much less deprived areas than I did.

I've also been met with disbelief when mentioning things like a stabbing that took place at my school, because "it's the south!" It does get frustrating to realise the incorrect assumptions people are constantly making just based on which half of the country I'm from.

So sorry new to this and completely posted in the wrong place and not sure how to delete the comment x

It doesn't take any work at all. I grew up in the West Country but my parents were from the home counties. When I started to speak, I naturally spoke like my parents. When I went to school I was teased no end for being posh because I didn't have the Wurzel accent but I always kept my original natural way of speaking. I can put on a convincing West Country accent but it's put on.

Some people are accent chameleons and change very quickly to fit their peers. Some people just retain their accents no matter who they are surrounded by. A family I know moved to America and their daughter was speaking with an American accent by the end of the month while their son never adopted one. People are just different and I am not snobby because my parents weren't from the area I grew up in (and neither are my parents snobby).

@Apple1987 Underneath your post you should see a Report button. You may have to go through the options on the ... bit if you're on a phone. You can report your own post to MN and ask for it to be deleted or maybe moved to Relationships.

You can report your comment to MNHQ and a box will come up where you can explain that you posted in error. They will then delete it for you.

To post, choose the section you want to post in (Relationships) and then start a new thread there on that topic.

Never had to work to speak the way I do. My parents had strong accents from where they grew up. They came to England 20 years before I was born. My siblings all have English accent from school and friends and so do I.

@DuckbilledSplatterPuff No, I doubt many people have to work to speak the way they do! Ridiculous of the other poster to suggest that not having the local accent makes you snobby because it must have been a conscious choice you put effort into. I would have had to put work into adopting the local accent because I just never naturally started speaking that way (even though I can easily 'do' the accent).

One of the Y10s once asked me, "Miss, are you very posh?"

Happily, he was satisfied by the response "I'm not so posh I don't have to earn a living!"

I've had this before (I'm not posh at all but I don't have a very obvious regional accent). I dealt with it by saying "you wouldn't insist on calling someone common if they'd made it clear it was making them uncomfortable, would you?"

@MCbadgelore that is exactly what I do! There are many words which I know the meaning of but which I'd never dare say out loud! My boss still takes the piss out of my attempted 'sotto voce' (he's half Italian)!

Just shrug and say well I grew up in X and that's how they speak there, and look at them in a what the fuck are you on about way. And otherwise ignore it. It will get old.

I used to get the same as my accent is fairly neutral. They'd refuse to believe I was born in Newcastle upon Tyne. They'd even argue with me about it. I never knew what to say. My parents didn't have accents and I must have picked it up from them.

I agree, and there seems to be a lot of fuss and stereotyping about people's accents both ways, if you keep it or if you lose it. I think that's judgemental either way.
I was queried because people told me as an adult that my accent was "fake" because I should speak exactly like my parents. I probably would have if I'd grown up in the same place, but I didn't. As a child I absorbed the culture I grew up in.
I think children are very adaptable and take on the accents of people around them, especially at school, without even thinking. No effort required.

My DH went to school in Canada for five years and I'm told sounded like a proper little Canadian, even though his parents were both English. His Canadian accent vanished after returning to UK, no trace now. But he was a kid, he didn't think about it, or put effort into it, it just happened naturally.

Terrible advice, sorry!

I relate to this. I was called ‘posh’ at school because of how I talk although my background is working class. I think there is a certain unfairness you feel when this happens because it’s almost like people are assuming you’ve had certain privileges when you haven’t and it’s hard to argue against because anything you say sounds defensive and people believe what they want to believe. I wouldn’t comment on somebody’s accent whether posh or not and so it rankles when others do!

Yeah, they’ll just think you’re a prat instead 😂

That's a rather ignorant comment and it's not universally the case at all. I've a friend who grew up in small-town Scotland, surrounded by people with the accent you'd expect. But her parents were both from parts of the south of England and she had (still has, despite living in Scotland until early adulthood) their accent rather than that of her school friends and peers.

Ok, I guess I should have prefaced that with 'I think' as of course I cant know for sure.
In answer to your second point, I'm as glad as I can be (without knowing you) that you don't find this kind of banter awkward or difficult to deal with. Other people do.
I do believe the intention in this case, as described by the, OP is not benign though, yes.

I totally disagree. "Banter" can indeed be used as a so-called excuse for bullying - but in my experience, it is largely benign. Though I'm not one who takes offence at being ribbed (and I consider being ribbed for being "posh" to be extremely harmless).

I am in that category and have had the same comments from colleagues. All of us come from a 10 mile radius and the difference is very obvious to hear.