Keep being called posh at work

[Consciousuncouplings]

I've lived on and off in Manchester for a lot of my life but spent around 10 years of my childhood 20 miles away. I've been back in Manchester now for around 5 years, I don't really have the accent, it's quite a neutral one and it's hard to pinpoint exactly where from I think.
I work for a place in Manchester where a lot of the colleagues are from around that area or live close by, most have quite a broad accent.

I've been referred to as posh by them a few times, one the other day commented on 'my accent.'

I once said something and one said 'Oh I thought you'd be too posh to say that."

They're acting as though I speak like the Royal Family, far from it! I'm not posh in the slightest, and my accent is just very neutral, I spent some childhood in a market town about 20 miles away like I say.

I don't know why it bothers me really, but some people seem to associate you with thinking you're above others, snobby and so on and I'm none of those.
When they say it I just say 'no I'm not.'
Does anyone else get things like this and how do you deal with it?

I do not think posh is an insult. It is the same as saying working class. Some people are posh.

I’ve had this a bit too in the last. Just laugh and say with a smile “ ha you must have lived a very sheltered life if you think I’m posh !”
or something like that.

I get this a lot, grew up abroad so do sound abut RP. If anyone suggests Im posh, I always agree that I do prefer to travel 'port out, starboard home'.

no worries.

I had this when I worked in Manchester. I had quite a strong west country accent the absolutely would not be considered posh down south as well. It was really annoying and I never found a solution. I work in London now and have pretty much lost my accent but I have colleagues from around the UK (and further afield) and I can't imagine commenting on their accents.

i usually say “if you think I’m posh you don’t know me that we’ll do you?” And laugh!

*well

I get this too. I grew up in the south but live in the north and I just have a standard southern accent. I've even had northerners asking me whether I can teach them how to speak properly!

Sadly in this country people will always be judged by their accent whether its a regional accent or a posh or working class accent.
Weirdly though I'm a southerner (from Sussex) who lives in Yorkshire and no one ever mentions my southern accent here. When I lived down south I was ALWAYS being called posh. I suppose I sound fairly middle class. I moved around - lived in Devon, London, Norfolk and was constantly told I was posh and talk like the Queen (I don't!).
When we moved to Yorkshire I was certain they'd think I was posh. I was told that northerners think all southerners sound posh. I braced myself for the comments but no one's ever said anything, despite me sounding VERY different to Yorkshire people!! It seems that Yorkshire people are far less judgemental than my southern counterparts.

I would just say next time they say you sound posh….

”thanks, I’ll take that!”

it shows you don’t see yourself as posh and that you also don’t take being posh as an insult and also that you aren’t bothered by their comment either way. They’ll soon get bored of it, also if you’re not posh once they know u better they’ll realise that too x

I have never worked on losing my accent. But my accent has changed. I think it is just time away and your accent will go . People can still here an accent but can’t quite place it.

Years ago I got told I was a dirty Southerner, all southerners were dirty and were taking jobs from the local (south of Birmingham) community

My accent alone should have been enough to realise they were the dirty southerners. I think the fact that most of them had never travelled more than 5 miles from the town did not help.

My in laws call me ‘posh’ and it drives me up the wall.. do things like put a whole strawberry in my drink and no one else at gatherings because they aren’t posh…I’ve taken to calling it myself ‘ooh it’s because I’m so posh’ ‘ooh aren’t you posh’ etc whenever they say they’re doing something nice.. and laughing about it when I’m with them and it seems to have deterred the comments. (Wouldn’t consider myself posh either, just ‘normal?’)

It always felt like a way to make out I was different so it’s definitely not a nice ‘label’!

Try laughing about it or embracing that they think you’re just so fancy 😅

Love this reply 😂

I have no problem with people ditching their regional accent. I grew up in Norfolk and utterly HATE the Norfolk accent. I have done everything I can to get rid of any trace and make no apologies for that.

Maybe it’s that horribly British trait of pulling others down and resenting those who try to better themselves. I hate the silly, pretentious, upper class drawl (‘yaar’ instead of ‘year’ and ’ryally’ instead of ‘really’, etc), but there is nothing wrong with polishing your speech. A clear, neutral accent isn’t posh. People who call others ’posh’ are often trying to pull them down. I don’t have any time for fake/pretentious people, who pretend to be something they’re not, etc. But I’m all for trying to improve yourself. How will society ever get any better if we don’t? And I’m not just talking about making money and moving up the property ladder. I mean reading better books, going to the theatre, visiting art exhibitions, improving your communication skills, refining your manners, etc.

I have often heard foreigners complain about this. I’ve worked with several Poles, Indians, French and Czechs over the years, and all of them remarked on the class system, and on the ignorance, laziness, and low expectations of a big chunk of British society. They also disliked the lack of respect for culture, art and learning. I’m not referring to Mancunians btw!! On the contrary - I’m one of those southerners who prefers northerners. I’m talking about the British class system. There is a certain attitude that massively holds this country back - an “it’s not for the likes of us” mentality. My French and Hungarian colleagues really pushed their kids. To them, education was everything. They also encouraged them to read, took them to the National Gallery and the Science Museum, and so on.

yeh, as a foreigner, it seems so random that southerners just consider themselves a class above their similar compatriots purely by virtue of being from the south

some southern accents are so long drawn out. a lot of southerners think they have RP but aye aye no they don't. And if I can hear it, British people can hear it.

I just like a really clear easy to hear accent.

I do not think posh is an insult

Where I grew up in the Midlands being called posh was absolutely an insult. My accent didn't match up with how the local kids talked and I was labelled as posh. I have a vivid and terrifying memory of being backed against a wall at school while one of the main bullies held his fist in my face and shouted 'Think you're better than us, do you?!'. Stuff like that happened a lot over the years.

I realised in later years that the Midlands is really territorial and having the wrong accent can get you into trouble, at least that's how it was in the 70s. If I moved to a different area, I developed the habit of learning the local accent as fast as possible, just to fit in. It didn't always work too well, but mostly it did.

Would you say to colleagues, "Oh you are so working class! I never expected you to say that because you are so working class!"

If you wouldn't because it sounds rude and othering and draws unwelcome attention to your colleague, you;ll understand why OP doesn't like being called posh.

They also disliked the lack of respect for culture, art and learning. I’m not referring to Mancunians btw!! On the contrary - I’m one of those southerners who prefers northerners. I’m talking about the British class system. There is a certain attitude that massively holds this country back - an “it’s not for the likes of us” mentality. My French and Hungarian colleagues really pushed their kids. To them, education was everything. They also encouraged them to read, took them to the National Gallery and the Science Museum, and so on.

My working class parents and IL did that for us - and we've then dome similar for our kids. MIL occasionally has moments when she embarrassed how educated DH is - but she and FIL still facilitated and encouraged his education. I think our kids may be considered middle class though - university educated parents and DH in a middle class profession though we've always lived in very working class areas in their childhood.

At secondary one of my kids year were asked what Roman sites they'd seen - area has many near and bit further away and some walkable free ones - local primaries had done it as a topic - our child was only one that had been to any even the local walkable free one weren't visited by locals. I found that very odd.

I have a neutral accent too - but after years of living around the country and mimicking other accents for laughs, I can do several quite convincingly. I'd be tempted to have different ones on rotation each day. With customers, management, everyone, until they stop with the posh bollocks. Sound. Sorted. Madferrit.

Reminds of when I went to college in Birmingham and my friends on the course thought I lived in a mansion because of my posh accent. I lived in a council house in Worcestershire and sounded as brummy as them to outside people!

I'm from the North East but I've lived in Yorkshire for 10 years.
Literally every shift at work (I work in a supermarket), someone comments on my accent (I'm the only Geordie in the place so my accent's very obvious), but usually positively, say they love it, ask where l'm from, etc.
But a while ago l had a male customer who, every time he came to my till, took the piss out of my accent. I ignored it until the last time when he came out with "Whey aye pet!" in a very mocking fashion.
(A couple of the lads at work greet me in Geordie vernacular, but l know them, and it's friendly, and l'll greet them back with "Ey up, a'right?")
This man took the piss every time. So the last time he did it, l stared at him and said "I've NEVER said THAT in my life!" and maintained the stare.
He looked very embarrassed and muttered "I were just jokin...." . But he's been back since and has never done it again. He says hello, calls me love, which is fine, and l'll have a chat with him.
I don't think people even think about how this comes across. I'd be inclined to say what a PP suggested, along the lines of "I don't think the people where l come from would think l'm posh at all!" and laugh. Or, as another suggested, "Well you're local here, l'm not, am l?"
I've had boyfriends in the past from Manchester, Wales and Yorkshire. We all took the piss out of each other's accents, but jokingly. When people are having a go it's not the same at all.

I don't have an accent either and I often get asked if I went to private school 😂

I just ignore people that say it.

I’ve just returned to Liverpool after twenty years. I feel your pain.

Just stay apparently calm and relaxed next time, and say in a chatty sort of voice "Do you have a problem with people who are posh, then?" Curious, not argumentative. Ultimately they are trying to bait you, so don't rise to it and give them that satisfaction. Don't explain your living 20 miles away, and not being posh, etc. Just let them show themselves up as insecure and projecting on to you.. it will die down if you dont rise to it but calmly and mildly ask them about their own attitudes to people.

Very similar here. Very much from the North, though lived in various places as a child and adult. Seeing home videos of my parents as kids/teenagers was hilarious, they had perfectly (awful) RP accents. Especially my father. Luckily they’d assimilated somewhat as they went out into the world.

This thread has served to remind me how much I loathe “banter”. It’s always, always something bullies say to try and excuse their shitty behaviour.